Prologue

Heavy footsteps could be heard from above the wooden ceiling. They belonged to the pirates who had taken over the ship.

A couple of elf siblings—an older sister and a younger brother—had fled into the cargo hold to escape from the ruffians. There was only water below them, and they were surrounded outside the hold. They had nowhere else to run.

The pirates had captured the elves’ bodyguards and thrown them overboard. The brother and sister had barred the door and piled as much luggage in front of the doorway as they could, but there was no telling how long the barricade would hold out.

Elves were a precious and highly valuable species, which was why they rarely ventured outside their own kingdom. While that meant the pirates probably wouldn’t kill them, the sister shuddered to imagine what she and her brother would be subjected to if they were caught.

“Big sis...” Her brother tugged on her sleeve anxiously. Glancing down at him, she forced a smile to cheer him up.

The pirates had spotted her long, pointed ears while she was trying to flee. They knew there was an elf on board, and they surely wouldn’t rest until they had one in their clutches. But could she at least keep her brother hidden? He’d been sound asleep in the cabin at the time, so they shouldn’t have seen him yet.

“Hide in here, Dee,” she told him.

“But big sis...”

The elf girl pushed him into a nearby box, then stuffed it with as many provisions as she could find. “Remember what you’ve been taught, Dee. Eat only a little bit at a time, use water magic when you get thirsty, and if you need to do your business, do it in a cloth and use cleansing magic afterward.”

The boy was about to protest, but his sister placed her index finger on his lips before he could speak. She brushed his bangs up and gently kissed his exposed forehead. “I love you, Dee. I want you to survive, even if I don’t make it.”

The boy looked like he was about to cry, but seeing the resolve in his sister’s eyes, he held back his tears and nodded. He tried not to notice the way her hands were trembling.

The girl did her best to hide Dee inside the box. She used wood magic to create a panel, set it above the boy like a lid, and then stacked clothes on top of it. Now it looked like an ordinary, unassuming piece of luggage. The weight was about the same too, so that wouldn’t be a giveaway either.

She heard a knock at the door. However, it wasn’t a gentle rapping—it was strong and violent enough to nearly break the door off its hinges.

“The hell?! It’s not opening! That damn elf... She’s gotta be in there, no doubt!”

“Don’t worry, I got this. It’s just a wooden door—I’ll break it down, no problem!”

The pirates made no attempt to conceal their boorish intentions. The elf girl took a deep breath to calm herself down, but her heart continued to incessantly hammer in her chest.

Then an idea came to her. Could she use her wood magic to fight back? For better or worse, there was wood all over this ship, so she’d have plenty of material to work with. It wasn’t wood from a living tree, so it wouldn’t be as effective, but she would do her best for her brother’s sake.

“Wood Lance.” She made a wooden spear protrude from the door, stabbing through the leg of the pirate who was attempting to kick it down.

“Owww! Dammit, she’s using magic! She made the door all spiky!”

“Bwa ha ha, serves you right! Now go get your boo-boo taken care of and leave this to the real men!”

“Shit... She was supposed to be my trophy, dammit... Ow, ow, ow!”

The wood spear had snapped off in the pirate’s leg, forcing him to retreat. But the girl didn’t look the least bit relieved—rather, she looked like she was at her wit’s end. After all, the pirates were regarding her last-ditch attempt with all the seriousness of a child’s prank.

Meanwhile, the situation outside became even more grave. “All right, now’s my chance to capture this elf for myself—”

“And what do you plan to do with her once you capture her?” interjected a woman’s voice.

“O-Oh, Captain, I didn’t see you there! Er... I-I was planning on giving her to you as a gift, of course!”

The woman laughed out loud. “Is that so? How admirable! In that case, I’ll pretend you meant it!”

A woman whom the pirates were addressing as “Captain” was apparently behind the door. In the next instant, she reduced the door to splinters in a single kick. Not just the door—all of the luggage in front of it went flying and was smashed to pieces as well.

“A puny door like this is no match for me,” the woman said smugly.

“Whoa!” one of the pirates said, impressed. “That’s our Maririn! Despite her age, she’s still—”

He was cut off by a swift kick in the behind and went flying forward in a straight line into a pile of boxes, several of which were destroyed on impact. Fortunately, none of them were the box her brother was in.

“Now then, Ms. Elf, come out, come out, wherever you are! Don’t worry, I won’t kill you, so it’d be best for you to come out on your own. Unless you’d rather I tear this place apart looking for you?”

The captain’s stiletto heels clacked on the floor as she entered the room. She was a gorgeous woman with red hair.

“Wood Lance.” The elf girl, resolute, tried to take her by surprise. But the pirate captain grabbed the short wooden spear before it could reach her, stopping it in its tracks.

“Fooound you,” she said playfully.

Having spotted the elf with her uncovered eye (she wore an eye patch on the other one), she grinned like a carnivorous beast, sending a chill down the girl’s spine. Backing away, the elf fired another wooden spear.

“Whoa, now, can you not resist so much? Elves sell for a ton these days, so I’d rather not damage the merchandise if I can help it. Don’t you understand that?”

“S-Silence! I will never become someone’s slave... Wood Lance!” The elf continued to attack until she was out of both breath and mana, but it was no use. She didn’t land a single blow on the pirate captain. And—not missing her opportunity—the pirate captain chose that moment to close in.

“Aaand...BAM!” Her fist sank into the elf girl’s stomach, causing her to instantly crumple to the ground. Still, considering the force she’d kicked her subordinate with earlier, she’d likely held back quite a bit.

“There we go, elf acquired!” With practiced movements, she tied the girl up, gagged her, and handed her over to another pirate who’d just arrived.

“All right, boys! Let’s plunder everything else in this room while we’re at it!” The pirates under her command complied, wearing huge grins.

Thus, the pirate crew made off with everything on board the mercantile ship.

Chapter 1

My name’s Karina! And for the next few paragraphs, allow me to recount the story so far!

I was once a guy, but the Goddess gave me the body of a cute girl! Then she told me I needed to defeat some guy called the “God of Destruction.” But, what a twist! The Goddess destroyed the guy herself under the pretext of giving me a tutorial on how to use my powers! The geezer and his Kingdom of Alchemy went kaput in less than a minute’s time, leaving me objectiveless! The Goddess turned me loose in this world—armed with peerless spatial magic, no less—saying I was free to do whatever I wanted!

And so, deciding my goal for the time being would be to enjoy this world to the fullest, I headed to the nearest town, Solasidore, where I made my debut as an adventurer-slash-merchant! Quite a few things happened from there, like losing my virginity to Miss Harumikazuchi, and getting abducted by Satie and coerced into purchasing her alcoholic wares, and buying a slave and healing her completely, and saving the town and tossing the glory over to my more experienced adventurer buddies. Now then, what amazing adventure is next in store for me?!

Er, yeah. Anyway, it felt like a good time for a recap, so I decided I’d summarize all that’s happened until now. It’s important to reflect on the past every now and then, you know? But we can go ahead and just forget the parts that weren’t so good, like how the Goddess had me dancing in the palm of her hand...

Oh, also, I’m at the gatehouse in the port town of Verald right now. That’s right, you guessed it—in the interrogation room.

Together with Aishia, I’d dragged a huge and heavy cart, huffing and puffing, toward Solasidore’s gates—then, as soon as we’d passed through, I’d used my spatial magic to warp us in front of the gates of Verald. I was all eager to show my legit ID and enter the town, but then the guards captured me and brought me in for questioning. Considering how this happened just before entering Solasidore for the first time, I must just have a natural incompatibility with guards or something.

“It says here that you departed Solasidore at noon today. There’s no way you could have made it here that fast! You must be an impostor!”

“Wait, this is a trader’s guild license, though. Can those even be counterfeited?”

“I guess they can, since this can’t possibly be legit. Hmm... Your luggage is exactly the same as what it was when you left Solasidore, though. The number of items on the cart checks out too.”

“She’s got something to deliver to the Adventurer’s Guild too, so maybe they put her up to it? That means...the guild is in cahoots?!”

O diligent, hardworking guards, I appreciate your thoroughness in defending our cities’ borders, but you’re way off base!

Rather, they’re not even listening to me at all! Who would have thought my guild licenses kept a record of every time I entered and exited the city?! And it even recorded the quantity of my luggage—that’s awfully high-tech. A measure to make sure people pay their taxes, I’m guessing?

“Either way, this is seriously major,” the guard continued. “Guys, we might have just stumbled upon some grand conspiracy! But we need more information before we can be sure. We’ll interrogate the higher-ups and the guilds first, and then—”

“E-Everyone, please take a look at this!” I held up my five-yen coin fake ID, the hypnosis item I could use to gain permission for anything in a pinch. The guards’ faces began to soften. More specifically, they looked like they were about to pass out.

“Oh, I see. Why didn’t you just show us this from the start? All right, in that case, just fill out these entry papers and you’ll be good to go.”

“W-W-Wait, wait!” I said. “I’ll go back home for today, so let’s save that for next time!”

“Huh? But we have to do our jobs...”

“Look! At! The! Shiny! Coin!”

“All right, another time, then.”

Whew! That was a close one. I seriously almost had a heart attack. If I hadn’t been careful, there would have been a record of me entering Verald almost immediately after leaving Solasidore. Good thing I still had that fake ID—thank goodness the Goddess hadn’t demanded it back once I’d acquired a real one. That right there is why it’s important to hang on to the items in your inventory! Though apparently if I used this item too much on someone their brain would go pop, so I had to be careful.

In the end, we decided to turn around for now and head back the same way we came. “It’s not like I did anything wrong, so why do I feel like a criminal?” I mumbled.

“Honestly. For those guards to apprehend the likes of you at the gate, master... They really need to learn their place.” Aishia, my half-dwarf slave, glared back in the direction of the town gate. Er... Well, they were doing their job, so from an objective perspective, I’d say they knew their place pretty exactly. I just happened to be on the receiving end, is all.

When I asked, Aishia said she hadn’t known that the guild licenses could record dates and times either. Well, most people don’t get apprehended at town gates right away, so they’d probably have no way of knowing, huh?

Still, this meant I couldn’t just visit Verald like I’d planned. Well, I supposed I could, technically, but if I teleported myself inside without permission, and my guild ID contained a record of my arrivals and departures, it would look like I had entered illegally to anyone I showed my ID to while in town. That meant I’d have to refrain from any adventuring or mercantile work while in Verald, and for Karina the merchant, such a visit would be pointless. Wait—actually, maybe I should be looking at this as a blessing instead. After all, if I’d just warped into the town from the start and unwittingly used my guild ID inside, I could have been arrested for trespassing. At least I’d avoided that outcome.

“Nothing for it, I guess. We’ll have to kill time for the next five days,” I said with a sigh. After all, since my arrival time had raised the guards’ suspicions, I’d need to wait the same number of days it would take to reach the town by normal means if I wanted to look legit. “Well, let’s just call this a vacation and relax until then. How about it, Aishia?”

“Sounds good to me, master.”

After checking to make sure there was no one around, I teleported us back to our spatial base.

＊ ＊ ＊

Thus, for the next five days I became a shut-in, mostly killing time by using Mr. Sneaky and exploring and experimenting with my female body in various ways. I also spent time using the excess wood I had in storage to create various accessories with spatial magic, improving my woodworking skill in the process. I practiced making cylindrical rodlike objects, and I even made a toothbrush. I experimented with using tree fibers for the brush part, but they were so rough that they ended up hurting my teeth. So I tried animal fur instead, but it was too soft. So then I had the genius idea to combine the two— Er, well, you get the idea. Hopefully I’ll get it right on my next attempt.

“Training diligently today too, master? Your dedication is truly inspiring.”

“Th-Thanks.” Naturally, telling Aishia about my exploits regarding my own body would be too embarrassing, so I’d just told her I was training and left it at that. Come to think of it, maybe I could have spun it like I was trying to learn an ability to produce sticky bodily fluid from myself at will... Nah, no one would buy that. Yeah, I know I probably shouldn’t be embarrassed about that sort of thing with Aishia now, considering we’ve already done it, but even now I’ve been too shy to invite her to bed a second time. Not to mention my body was in an abnormal state back then, thanks to the Orc King. Normally I wouldn’t have been so bold.

In other words, I’d have to come up with some sort of excuse to bed her, and one that she’d find agreeable to boot. She might have been my slave, but I wasn’t gonna force her to do anything like that without her consent. I mean, I certainly wouldn’t want to be forced to have sex with a guy. I’d have to be held at gunpoint or something to even begin to consider it. Begrudgingly, mind you.

Anyway, after several days had passed, we made our way back to the port town of Verald. A guard with floppy dog ears checked my ID at the gate.

“Looks like you left Solasidore eight days ago. And your luggage seems to all be in order as well. You may pass. Welcome to Verald, and enjoy your stay.”

Oh, why did I wait an extra three days, you ask? Well, let’s just say I got a little too absorbed in my...experiments...and you can figure out the rest. Er, actually, on second thought, I’d rather you not figure it out. Even if you did, just pretend you didn’t.

I felt only the slightest bit awkward as I passed through the gate, but the soldier stopped me all of a sudden. “Hey, sorry if I’m overstepping my bounds here, but for your own sake, maybe you ought to use a little stronger cleansing magic from now on. Also, there’s a public bath in the middle of the town, if you’re interested. Just saying.”

“Er... Thanks for the tip,” I replied stiffly. I-I stank?! And I stank so bad that I got recommended to visit a bathhouse?!

Wait, did that mean Aishia had caught on?! She hadn’t, right?! Concealing my inner panic, I shot a furtive glance in her direction. She was just looking at me with a big grin on her face. What was that supposed to mean?! Has she realized and just isn’t letting on, like a mother watching her son go through puberty?! My thoughts were in such a jumble that I couldn’t concentrate as Aishia and I pulled the cart through the gates and into Verald.

The town itself didn’t look too different from Solasidore, though it seemed like there were more stone buildings here. Was that because the wind was stronger closer to the ocean? I could also detect the saltiness of the sea in the air—at least, I hoped it was from the sea.

I decided to get business out of the way and take care of my delivery request first. So I looked for the Adventurer’s Guild, making sure to repeatedly cast cleansing magic on myself as I walked.

Verald’s Adventurer’s Guild looked almost identical to Solasidore’s. Time to head in... Wait, there’s no way they’ll let me drag my cart in there. And I doubt there’s any free parking anywhere nearby. What to do...

“Master, would you like me to watch the cart for you?”

“Nah, I’ll just store it back at base. Now that we’re in the city, it’s not like we’ll need it anymore anyway. And if anyone asks, I’ll just say I left it at the inn.” I would be spending the night in my spatial base, after all, so technically it wouldn’t be a lie.

Immediately after nonchalantly turning a street corner, I teleported back to my base. That way, even if someone was pursuing me, they’d think they just lost sight of me when they turned the corner. Not that anyone would have been after me anyway. Er... Actually, what if they’d spotted me from the front or side, though? Maybe I ought to invent some sort of active camouflage, just in case.

Once back at the base, I decided to leave Aishia behind so she could rest, hoisted my backpack onto my shoulders, and walked into the guild while carrying the box containing the delivery request.

“Howdy. Got a delivery request to drop off; where do you want me to put it?”

“Oh, hello, miss! Is that box from Solasidore? Just set it right here, thank you.” An elderly woman—though I could see how she could have been a real looker of a receptionist back in the day—instructed me to set the box on the counter.

“No sign that it’s been opened... That’s good,” she said. “All right, everything’s in order. You’ve completed the request; here’s your reward.”

“’Preciate it. Also, where’s the Trader’s Guild from here?”

“When you leave this building, just head a little ways to the right. You can’t miss it.”

“Thanks much!” Wow, that was super easy. Everything went as smooth as butter, and no one tried to hit on me this time! So this was what a normal guild experience was like. It reminded me of back when I’d first visited the Adventurer’s Guild in Solasidore—aside from Blade approaching me, everything had been pretty cut-and-dried back then too.

Then I suddenly remembered how the guard at the gate had recommended I head to the bathhouse. Wait... That couldn’t be the reason no one tried to approach me this time, right? Nah, couldn’t be.

...Er, maybe I should head to the bathhouse before the Trader’s Guild after all. Funny, I thought beautiful girls like me automatically emitted a nice, flowery fragrance all the time. Just kidding.

And so, to the bathhouse I went. To be honest, it was a little surprising to hear this world had public baths. I did wonder how such an uncivilized society could afford to spend their resources on something like that, but apparently they just used magic to compensate for what they couldn’t spare.

In truth, there had been a public bath in Solasidore as well, but because there was a fee to enter and I could get just as clean using magic, I’d never bothered to try it. However, since the guard had already recommended it, and I was curious, I figured I might as well check it out. After all, I was a former resident of Japan, born and raised, and as we Japanese do love our baths, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t interested to see what a bathhouse in this new world would be like. Right—in other words, I was just observing out of curiosity! I definitely wasn’t going there because I stunk or anything like that. This is just for research purposes, that’s all!

I spotted the bathhouse after just a quick stroll. That was because it looked like a public bath at a glance, but that wasn’t all. It was built on a foundation of stone, and its walls were white like soap. There was even a short curtain hanging in the entrance. In other words, there was no mistaking it—it was a Japanese bathhouse. Seriously? How? Why?

When I passed through the blue curtain, there were shoe racks for patrons to leave their shoes in. I was a little hesitant, but I took my shoes off and placed them in one of the racks. There was an incision in the wood where a lock had been inserted for privacy. The floor was grated, so it was easy to walk across in bare feet. There was even an attendant keeping watch—identical to a public bathhouse in Japan.

Wow, to think that bath culture in this world would be so similar to Japan’s! It’s probably just a complete coincidence that the denizens of this world have the same ideas about bathing we do—yeah, right! Someone else from Japan got reincarnated here before me and did this, no question. Not even all bathhouses in Japan were this meticulously Japanese!

Then has the Goddess sent other people to this world besides me? If so, they’d have to be seriously tone-deaf to other cultures to build something like this...or maybe they were just nostalgic for a country they could no longer return to? Or it was entirely possible the Goddess built it herself, as a hobby. She did seem to be awfully knowledgeable about Japanese culture for some reason.

I wonder if there’s some kind of plaque or something in here saying who built it...doesn’t look like it. Well, not like it matters. Even if someone else got reincarnated here besides me, it’s none of my concern—I’ve got a bath to try!

I paid the attendant, who was either an old man or an old woman—I couldn’t tell which, nor could I tell whether their eyes were open or shut. The fee was one medium copper, which I felt was reasonable. Not so cheap that one could afford to go every day, but affordable enough to have plenty of customers.

Ooh, they’ve got soap and hand towels for sale too? Gimme, gimme. Look at this tiny soap bar—it’s so cute! And you don’t have to return the hand towels afterward? I’ll take your whole stack! One large copper? No problem, here you go!

On to the changing room. Yep, it was just like the kind in Japan. There were baskets on shelves where you could put your discarded clothing. In an instant, I stripped off the clothes that I’d become intimately familiar with over the last several days and tossed them in the basket. Now stark naked, I ran to the bath.

“Now then, time to soak!”

The moment I burst into the bath, all eyes gathered on me. Hey, you old perverts! Mind your own business... Oh, shit. That’s right, I forgot I’m a girl now!

“S-Sorry, wrong bath! My bad! Just pretend you didn’t see that, okay?!” I turned on my heel, dashed back the way I came, grabbed my clothes out of the basket, and headed toward the red curtain instead.

Whew, that was close... Did they see my boobs? I’m pretty sure they didn’t see my lower half, at least, since I’d been covering myself with my hand towel.

“Crap, I need to be more careful. Phew.” Once I entered the women’s changing room this time, I breathed a sigh of relief. From beyond the wall I thought I could hear various cries like “Did you see that? What an exhibitionist!” “Where’d she go?! I’ll wash her back for her!” and “Hey, looks like she dropped her underwear on the ground!” but I pretended it was just my imagination. Er, wait, did I really drop my underwear? No, it’s right here with me, so I guess those are someone else’s? That’s distressing in itself, but anyway. Let’s bathe for real this time.

The moment I entered the women’s bath, I thought I detected a sweet smell in the air. Did women’s baths use different ingredients than the men’s or something? I wouldn’t be surprised!

“Right, and I’m a woman now too, so me being here is perfectly natural!” With that comment, I marched headlong into the domain of women.

＊ ＊ ＊

Wow, these old ladies sure have taken a liking to me. Yaaay.

“Ah ha ha, so you’re from a rural village, and this is your first time in a public bath, eh? Even so, you’d have to be really inattentive to accidentally walk into the men’s side!”

“Well, there are some villages out there where girls and boys traditionally share a bath. Still, you’re in the big city now—and you’re not a little kid anymore, missy.”

“There’s a market for that sort of thing in the red-light district, of course, but the feudal lord owns this bathhouse, so it’s forbidden here. Keep that in mind.”

So the women said as we all bathed together—but anyway, why were there only old women here?! Could I at least have had one pretty lady, please?! Reality sure was unforgiving sometimes. “Yes, ma’am. I understand. I appreciate the tip.”

More importantly, mixed among all these old ladies, my tits looked comparatively, er, voluptuous, and it made me feel a little embarrassed. They seemed to be brimming with even more youth and perkiness than normal... I wonder if that’s due to all my “training” these past several days?

“Honestly, though, you really have a nice body, young’un,” one of the ladies said. “Can I give those breasts of yours a rub? They say rubbing firm, youthful breasts promotes fertility.”

“I-If you’ll treat me to a fruit milk afterward.”

“Oho! You’re a shrewd one, aren’t you? Deal, and if you’d like, you can rub mine. I nursed five healthy children with these, so I’m quite proud of them. Perhaps some of that blessing will rub off on you as well.”

“Ah ha ha, yes, after rubbing breasts like yours, Miss Maria, I’m sure I can expect a healthy delivery,” I said awkwardly.

“Oh, how kind! You’re going to make me blush!”

The old lady and I rubbed each other’s chests. There was nothing stimulating about the experience at all; rather, it felt more like a medical consultation.

“Karina,” said another woman, “may I rub yours too? My husband and I have been trying for a while, but we haven’t had much luck.”

“Oh, yeah, go ahead.”

How can I put it? It’s like I’m realizing there’s a stark difference between boobs and mere lumps of meat on a woman’s chest. I’d always assumed any soft flesh would do, but...you know, I think I might be starting to realize what the Goddess meant back when she declared that shame was the ultimate spice.

Oh, by the way, the fruit milk was delicious, exactly the same as it was in Japan. The bathhouse served it in a cup, rather than in a bottle like normal, but I made sure to put my hand on my hip and chug it all the same. At least I was aware of that female custom. Phew... Now that’s the good stuff!

Anyway, now that I was all clean, it was time to head to the Trader’s Guild! Those old ladies made sure I was spick-and-span from top to bottom, saying things like “Now, now, you can’t neglect this part!” or “Don’t forget to wash behind your ears” or “You really don’t have a tail? I could have sworn you were a beast person the way you reeked like you were in heat.” Now I didn’t have to worry about my odor at all anymore! Er...at least for today, anyway.

“Now then, is there anywhere here that buys alcohol?” According to Li’l Satie, the Trader’s Guild could tell you the best places to buy and sell alcohol if you asked. And if going there was too much of a hassle, the guild would buy your stock from you themselves—though at a slightly reduced rate from market price, so you’d lose out on a little profit. While I was at it, I’d also ask where I could purchase the item that Miss Harumikazuchi asked me to get for her.

The moment I stepped in, however, there were pirates everywhere. They were wearing bandannas, and every inch of their tables was covered in alcohol as they laughed and joked with mugs in hand, so they couldn’t have been anyone other than pirates. Some were arm wrestling with each other. One man with a black beard was cackling, downing his entire glass in one go, and several more were waiting on a beautiful woman with an eye patch and a skull-and-crossbones hat. What, did I accidentally stumble into some reverse harem pirate hangout?

“S-Sorry, wrong building,” I said, and I backed out to the entrance. I took another look at the sign above. Huh, it really was the Trader’s Guild.

I entered the building again, and this time I noticed there was an information desk, so I made my way over to the official-looking man behind the counter. “Excuse me, this is the Trader’s Guild...right?”

“It is.”

Seriously?! No way—it just looks like a pirate crew’s hangout to me! Or did the pirates take over the guild and turn it into a watering hole?!

“Ah... Miss, is this perhaps your first time in Verald?” the man asked.

“O-Oh, yes. It’s my first time.”

“I see. In that case, I bet you were just thinking that this looks more like a pirate crew’s hangout than a guild establishment.”

“Yes?”

“That’s because it essentially is. Pirates are seafaring merchants, after all.”

He went on to say that pirates were sailors who operated privately. Apparently, they made a living stealing cargo from ships who were trading illegally. Because of that, their actions were condoned by the government, and they were nationally recognized as civil servants despite being privately managed.

You don’t say. Then I guess I can’t attack them and take their treasure, huh? That’s kind of a shame.

“They just got back from a job, in fact,” the man continued, “so they’re letting off steam right now. I wouldn’t get too close if I were you. That aside, how can I help you?”

“O-Oh, right. I’d like to know some places that would buy liquor even without a license.”

“Unlicensed, huh? Got it. In that case, the retailer I’d recommend would be—”

“Yo, did you say liquor?! I’ll buy it off you! I was just thinking I’d like to have some more!” A pirate who had the face of a ruffian butted into our conversation. His facial hair was like if Santa Claus decided to dye his beard black, and he was pretty well-built compared to the other pirates. He looked tough, and I could see a single-shot pistol at his hip as well. Huh, so guns exist in this world too, then? Interesting.

I turned back around to the man at the counter. “Mister, is this guy licensed?”

“Er... I’d say not. But as long as you don’t sell him any more than three, it should be fine.”

“Then, sir, I’ll only sell you three. As for the price—”

“Here.” The pirate cut me off and tossed three copper coins onto the floor. There were now three copper coins lying at my feet.

He can’t be serious, right?

“Go on, pick ’em up,” he said. “They’re yours now. Or if that doesn’t satisfy you, I’ll let you spend a night with me instead.”

“Mister, it looks like this man accidentally dropped some change. Otherwise, I’d have to assume he’s picking a fight with me.”

“W-Wait, Gomez! You know quarrels between guild members are prohibited here!” the man behind the desk cried out.

“Oh, can it. Hmm... You know, now that I get a good look, you’re pretty hot, girlie. Not as hot as the captain, of course, but... Yeah, all right. You’re spending the night with me.” His breath reeked of liquor as he attempted to grab my shoulder, so I immediately slid to the side to dodge him. Don’t you dare touch me with those filthy hands when I just got done taking a bath.

Honestly, his attitude was like night and day from Blade’s—or wait, I guess my first encounter with Blade was pretty similar, wasn’t it?I guess that means this Gomez guy could potentially also be a good person at heart?

“Hmph, you’d need to bring me a hundred gold before I’d even consider letting a drunkard like you buy me,” I scoffed, delivering the same line I’d given to Blade back then.

“A hundred, huh? Hmm. If you promise to become my woman for good, I’ll think about it.”

S-Seriously? Well, he was a pirate, so I should have figured he could afford that much. And regardless... “Hell no. After all, from what I can tell, you’re a cheapskate.”

“Huh?! And just what makes you think that?!”

“If you can’t figure it out, then I guess you’re just as stupid as you are a tightwad. Those coppers you threw on the floor, dumbass! No woman would want to be with someone so...unsatisfying.” Plus, he didn’t even agree, he’d said he’d think about it. In other words, he was all talk.

“J-J-Just who are you calling unsatisfying?!” He looked genuinely rattled.

“Oh? If that got under your skin, then perhaps you really are tiny down there? So microscopic it’s practically invisible? Smaller than my little finger, even?” I waved my pinky in front of him to taunt him. Oh dear, his face went red as a tomato.

“H-Hey, why are you making fun of him?!” the guild employee cried out.

“Whoa now, careful, mister. If you’re getting angry, aren’t you acknowledging that yours is small too? A guy with a bigger package wouldn’t care at all, so are you admitting it right here?”

“N...N-No, of course not!”

He couldn’t continue to interfere at this rate, otherwise he’d risk admitting that his manhood was small. Sorry for wrapping you up in this, mister, but I had to make sure Gomez couldn’t lay his hands on me so easily.

Meanwhile, Gomez was taking deep breaths to try and calm himself. He must have realized that getting angry here would mean admitting he came up short. Heh heh heh.

“Oh, by the way, mister. I heard I should ask the guild if I’m ever unsure whether an item can be traded here, so I’ll ask just in case—does trading blows count?”

“P-Please don’t...”

“Then since my stock of liquor was the cause of all this, this could be resolved if the guild bought it all, no? And I’d be satisfied with just market value, so don’t worry.”

“Y-Yes, ma’am, understood. The guild will buy your stock at market value.”

Hell yeah, score! Now I was rid of all that alcohol Li’l Satie forced me to buy, and I got market value for it too! And since the buyer was a reputable organization, I probably didn’t have to worry about them going back on their offer. Rather, if they did, I’d just spread bad rumors about them around town and ruin their reputation.

“And now,” I turned to Gomez, “if you want my liquor, you’ll have to buy it from the guild, not me. Oh, but I doubt three copper coins will be enough, so you might have to get your mommy to buy it for you instead.”

“What’d you say, bitch?!”

Ooh, looks like that really made him mad. Still, he hadn’t hit me on impulse or anything yet, so it seemed that pirates had a little more composure than the delinquents in Solasidore.

“Excuse me, ma’am? I’d like you to not bully my crew members, thank you very much.”

At that moment, the eye patched woman, short red pigtails poking out from under her pirate hat, called out. Her heels rhythmically clacked on the floor as she approached me. I couldn’t take my eyes off her sultry black stockings.

“C-Captain Maririn?!”

“Gomez, you’re at fault here too. You know better than to fall for such weak attempts at provocation, don’t you? You’re going to give the Marinebell Pirates a bad name if you keep that up. More importantly, your pickup attempt just now was seriously poor—zero points, if I’m being frank.” She wore a bright smile, but it was clear that she was furious just from her tone.

“I-I’m so sorry, Captain! But she started it!”

Er, no, any way you look at it, it was entirely your fault for hitting on me, Gomez. “Well, I’m nothing if not merciful, at least,” I said. “If you apologize right now, I suppose I can let bygones be bygones.”

“Ha ha, you’ve got some guts, girl,” Captain Maririn said with a smirk, looking me up and down as though she was appraising me. “Hmm...awfully young, aren’t you? Still at that age where nothing scares you, perhaps?”

“Aw, thanks. You look plenty young and beautiful yourself, lady!”

“Ha! I do, don’t I?” she said with a grin. And yet, her eyes weren’t smiling. “Well, I’m sorry to say this, especially after you complimented me and all, but as our captain, I have a duty to uphold our crew’s reputation. Unfortunately, I can’t just let this slide. Can’t have people thinking we’re pushovers, you see. Hmm... Well, we just got this new shipment of booze, so how about a drinking contest? You feel up to that, Gomez?”

“Whatever you say, Captain Maririn! Your wish is my command!” He bowed loyally and with a level of astuteness I never would have expected from a drunkard.

“Good answer. What about you?” she said, turning to me with the same smile. A drinking contest?

Hmm... I’m actually a weak drinker, so typically, it wouldn’t be my battlefield of choice. “Whoever loses treats the other, and if I win, gimme those stockings of yours!”

But I didn’t back down. After all, socks were on the line.

“R-Really? These weren’t exactly cheap, though...” Maririn pinched one of her stockings and stretched it out to show me. Wait, was that nylon? Where could she have possibly bought those? The sewing work, too, was clearly technologically advanced... Well, the Goddess of this world was a sock fanatic, after all, so maybe I shouldn’t be too surprised.

“Fine...if you win,” she said at last. “Gomez, you had better not lose, understand?”

“Y-Yes, Captain!”

And so, the drinking contest between me and Gomez commenced.

“If I lose, I’ll sell my body to you as compensation for the amount of your alcohol I drink here,” I told him. “I swear on the Goddess’s name!”

“Sounds good to me!” he replied.

Are you watching, Goddess? Don’t worry, it’s not like I don’t have a chance of winning. In fact, my victory is set in stone. After the incident with Li’l Satie, I came up with a countermeasure against alcohol to prevent the same thing from happening again. If I use that, I’ll never get drunk no matter how much I drink. That’s right—thanks to my spatial magic!

＊ ＊ ＊

“Whew, I feel like my cheeks are getting a little hot. Another round, please, mister!”

“Y-You...b-bitch... What kind of monster are you...?!” Gomez muttered with a belch. “A-Another!”

Wow...I’ve already gone through a whole cask of wine, huh? Oh, by the way, I was drinking wine, and Gomez was drinking the alcohol I’d brought with me. The pirates had added the extra condition that as fellow merchants, we were each to drink the stock of alcohol that the other had procured. Naturally, I saw right through their underhanded plan—I had considerably less alcohol than they did, so they had the clear advantage—-but I went ahead and allowed it.

Of course, as you can tell, I wasn’t even the least bit tipsy! My cheeks were probably flushed a little, but that was just because of the liquor smell wafting through the room. How did a teetotaller like me finish off an entire cask of wine and not get wasted, you ask? Simple—I used spatial magic to substitute the wine with water just before it reached my mouth, then returned the water to my space of holding the instant it hit my stomach. So I took the wine for myself and kept it in storage so I could enjoy it later at my leisure—essentially Gomez’s treat! Or, since I hadn’t actually drunk any of the wine, I could even bottle it and sell it! Their stock included both red and white wine, so I was happy to take it off their hands!

I glanced at Gomez to check how he was doing. He was convulsing like he was having a seizure, and his eyes were out of focus. Yep, he was at his limit. “Oh? What’s wrong, giving up already?”

“Bububaabaaaa,” he burbled. Alcohol spurted from his nose and mouth, and he collapsed.

“Ew. Say it, don’t spray it. Don’t just spit out all that booze—honestly, what a waste,” I said with a sigh.

He was most definitely suffering from alcohol poisoning—was he going to be all right? Well, not like I particularly cared. Good boys and girls, don’t try this at home! If you must drink, do it responsibly!

“Still, I guess this means I win! Hooray! Way to go, me! Mister, just put everything on their tab, as we agreed!”

“R-Right away.” The guild employee looked just as shocked at how much alcohol I’d imbibed with no issues whatsoever.

“And let that be a warning to all of you,” I continued. “Next time you hit on someone, make sure it’s not me. Unless you’d like to challenge me to a rematch—I’ll take you on anytime! Bwa ha ha!”

“N-Ngh...”

“J-Just you wait... We won’t forget this!” The pirates carried Gomez out of the building in a hurry. The lounge space was now completely empty. Ooh, they’d left some cheese and other snacks on the table. It didn’t look like they ate any of it, so it’d be a shame to let it go to waste! Oh, come to think of it, I could order all the snacks I wanted now, since those pirates would be footing the bill!

“Say, mister, would you classify that just now as a dine and dash?”

“No, since I’ll just deduct the amount from their account with the guild.”

No kidding? The Traders’ Guild sure is convenient! In that case, no need to hold back—time to eat my fill!

Er...huh? Wait, hold up! I never got Maririn’s stockings! And now that I think about it, she wasn’t with those pirates when they scooted out of the building either! Did she make a run for it in the middle of the contest?! Damn it, lady, honor your promises! I’ll have the Goddess rain divine punishment down on youuu!

#Side: Pirate Gomez

The name’s Gomez, and I’m one of the Marinebell Pirates’ head honchos.

We pirates have the honorable job of keeping the peace in Verald. Our clients are the bigwigs that run this town, so we’re their direct subordinates. In other words, no matter what we do, it’s for a noble cause.

The other day, for instance, we attacked a merchant ship with an elf on board. Those guys were criminals who used one of the town’s trade routes without permission. It’s true that we’d let them do as they pleased for three days before making our move, but that was just a mistake. Right, a mistake. Still, Captain Maririn ended up discovering the elf before we could do anything to her, so it was all a wash in the end...

Anyway, me and my henchmen were at the Traders’ Guild, drowning our disappointment in drink, when a real beauty showed up. And after eavesdropping on her conversation a little, I learned that she’d brought some booze with her!

“Yo, did you say liquor?! I’ll buy it off you! I was just thinking I’d like to have some more!”

She answered by saying she’d sell me three of what she had. But looking in her open backpack, I could only see mead and hard cider from Solasidore. Those drinks were weak and way too sweet. I don’t want this crap, I thought, but I’d already said I’d buy, so I had to buy. I considered demanding that she give them to me for free, but since there was a guild member watching, I had no choice but to pay up.

So one copper coin ought to be enough, right? That ought to teach you not to come here with such shitty booze next time. In fact, you should be grateful you actually found someone to buy it off you. And while I’m at it, maybe I’ll help myself to that body of yours too, just to make sure you’ve learned your lesson.

“W-Wait, Gomez! You know quarrels between guild members are prohibited here!”

“Oh, can it. Hmm... You know, now that I get a good look, you’re pretty hot, girlie. Not as hot as the captain, of course, but... Yeah, all right. You’re spending the night with me.”

But when I tried to grab the girl by the shoulder, I ended up grabbing air instead. Huh? She dodged me?

“Hmph, you’d need to bring me a hundred gold before I’d even consider letting a drunkard like you buy me.”

The hell? A hundred gold? Oh, I get it, I must have misheard. I bet she actually said a hundred silver. You must think pretty highly of yourself, huh, girlie?

“A hundred, huh? Hmm. If you promise to become my woman for good, I’ll think about it.” If you satisfy me well enough, that is.

And yet, the girl merely scoffed at my generous offer. Not only that, she pointed at me, said I was a cheapskate, and called me tiny down there?! You bitch...!

“H-Hey, why are you making fun of him?!” cried the guild employee.

“Whoa now, careful, mister. If you’re getting angry, aren’t you acknowledging that yours is small too? A guy with a bigger package wouldn’t care at all, so are you admitting it right here?”

“N...N-No, of course not!” The guild employee awkwardly glanced over at me. Huh? You’re insinuating I’m the one who’s small?!

At any rate, I ignored her provocation and stayed perfectly calm, but she got the guild to buy the booze off her instead. Dammit. Looks like this girl doesn’t understand how things are supposed to go around here. If she’d just offered me the alcohol, I would have let her be my woman! Did she not realize what an honor that would’ve been?! I was a head officer of the Marinebell Pirates, for crying out loud! Yeah, that’s right—I’m an officer, so I’m not gonna let the taunts of a little girl get to me!

“And now, if you want my liquor, you’ll have to buy it from the guild, not me. Oh, but I doubt three copper coins will be enough, so you might have to get your mommy to buy it for you instead.”

“What’d you say, bitch?!” You whore... I’ll kill you! I raised my fist up to hit her—and at that moment, a levelheaded voice rang out as clear as a bell.

“Excuse me, ma’am? I’d like you to not bully my crew members, thank you very much.”

Captain Maririn’s heels clacked on the floor as she walked toward us. Her legs, wrapped in black stockings, were as captivating as always, and her tits bounced up and down as she approached.

“C-Captain Maririn?!”

“Gomez, you’re at fault here too. You know better than to fall for such weak attempts at provocation, don’t you? You’re going to give the Marinebell Pirates a bad name if you keep that up. More importantly, your pickup attempt just now was seriously poor—zero points, if I’m being frank.”

Th-The captain scolded me...and from the look in her eyes, I can tell she’s serious! Ngggh...! “I-I’m so sorry, Captain! But she started it!”

“Well, I’m nothing if not merciful, at least. If you apologize right now, I suppose I can let bygones be bygones.” The girl started talking to Captain Maririn directly, ignoring me completely! D-Don’t you have any manners at all?! Apologize to me, dammit!

“Ha ha, you’ve got some guts, girl. Hmm...awfully young, aren’t you? Still at that age where nothing scares you, perhaps?”

“Aw, thanks. You look plenty young and beautiful yourself, lady!”

“Ha! I do, don’t I?”

The captain started looking the girl up and down, appraising her. The girl at least wasn’t stupid enough not to recognize the captain’s greatness, because she’d responded with a compliment. Still, she probably hadn’t realized just what a legendary swashbuckler the captain truly was. After all, she might have looked like she was seventeen, but the truth was...Maririn had been around for quite a while. She got mad when you mentioned it, so we didn’t bring it up, but she’d been seducing the men of the sea with her looks since I was just a little kid. Some say she ate a mermaid’s liver and became immortal, while others say the heavens merely granted her eternal youth.

Anyway, Captain Maririn jerked her chin up at the girl. “Well, I’m sorry to say this, especially after you complimented me and all, but as our captain, I have a duty to uphold our crew’s reputation. Unfortunately, I can’t just let this slide. Can’t have people thinking we’re pushovers, you see. Hmm... Well, we just got this new shipment of booze, so how about a drinking contest? You feel up to that, Gomez?”

“Whatever you say, Captain Maririn! Your wish is my command!” I reflexively gave her a salute. The captain’s orders were absolute, after all!

“Good answer. What about you?”

“Whoever loses treats the other, and if I win, gimme those stockings of yours!”

The hell was this girl saying? The captain had to make a ton of donations at the church to get those stockings. I mean, I could understand why she might have wanted them, but seriously, did she hear herself?

“R-Really? These weren’t exactly cheap, though. Fine...if you win. Gomez, you had better not lose, understand?”

“Y-Yes, Captain!”

And so, it was decided. Me and the girl would compete in a drinking contest.

“If I lose, I’ll sell my body to you as compensation for the amount of your alcohol I drink here. I swear on the Goddess’s name!”

“Sounds good to me!” I made a hand signal to one of my underlings where the captain wouldn’t see: Be ready to kidnap the girl and take her to the hidden base. She’d made a fool of the Marinebell Pirates, so naturally, she would get the death penalty—no, even better, we’d take everything she owned and sell her off to a brothel in the slums! That is, if she were still alive after we were done with her!

First, though, we needed to make it so we could slip her a special kind of liquor just in case. “All right, here are the rules,” I told her. “We’ll compete as fellow traders. I’ll drink the booze you got, and you drink the booze we got. You okay with that?”

“Yep, no problem. Mr. Guild Employee, I’m counting on you to keep this a fair match.” She immediately agreed! What a stupid bitch.

The guild employee was our yes-man, so he would definitely judge in our favor. If she spilled even a single drop of booze, he’d notice and say it didn’t count as a full round. And besides, now I was gonna be drinking weak booze, and she’d be drinking the strong stuff. I’d already been drinking before she showed up, after all, so it was only fair, right?! Honestly, it was her fault that she didn’t catch on! Heh heh heh... Everyone knows the majority of battles are decided before they’re even fought!

“Here we go, first round! Cheers!”

“Yeah, cheers,” I replied, and I downed my tankard. Hey, this stuff wasn’t as bad as I’d thought. It’d probably be pretty popular with the ladies. Way too weak for me, though.

“Pfah! Another round, please!”

“One for me too.”

The girl grabbed her refilled tankard and poured it into her mouth without hesitation. Not too shabby—seemed she could hold her liquor, at least. No wonder she’d agreed to a drinking contest so quickly. Still, you’ll never win against me, because my victory was guaranteed from the start!

“Hmm, you know, wine really does have a nice smell.”

“Oh yeah? Well, this liquor of yours is shit. I’m not even the least bit drunk yet,” I declared.

“Hey now, you wouldn’t say that in front of a dwarf, would you?”

“Huh? Why are you bringing up those drunkards all of a sudden?”

“Because a dwarf merchant made me buy this off of her.”

Wait... This was dwarf-procured alcohol? No wonder it was so tasty, then. Wait, did she say her? Don’t tell me she’s acquainted with the Drunken Ogre... Nah, no way.

We continued to drink round after round. Burp. Ugh... Even though the alcohol was weak, I’d had enough now that I was starting to feel it in my gut. And yet, that girl just kept knocking ’em back like they were water! What’s more, she drank every single drop, so we had no room to argue! As a matter of fact, I ended up spilling more than she did!

Captain Maririn slammed the table with her fist. “Gomez, get it together! You call yourself an officer of the Marinebell Pirates?!”

“Y-Yes, Captain! Sorry, Captain!”

“Tch... I need to go to the ladies’ room. You better have finished this by the time I get back!” She looked deadly serious as she headed toward the bathroom. But it’s fine, because any minute now that booze should be hitting that girl hard. I can’t disappoint Captain Maririn any more! I won’t let you beat me, you brat!

“Finished! Next round, please!”

“N-Next round, please.” I signaled to my underlings: Now’s the time. Do it. She’d be served the special liquor for her next round; in other words, her drink would be spiked with a sleep-inducing herb. It was my ace in the hole, ensuring that I would win this contest no matter what!

“Bottoms up!” the girl said cheerfully.

“Right, bottoms up.”

She immediately tilted the contents of the glass into her mouth, downing it in one go—and completely oblivious to the fact that it was spiked! “Whew! Hm? What’s wrong? Go on, hurry up and drink yours too.”

I suppressed the urge to snicker out loud. “Who says I need to rush? Don’t concern yourself with me, just keep going.” Just a few more seconds, and the herb should be taking effect... As a reward to myself for my victory, I decided to take my time and savor my last round while I waited.

“All right, you do you, I guess. Finished! Next round, please!”

“Er... Huh?” The girl ordered another round no differently than before. They did spike her drink, right? Was there some mistake? I ordered them to serve another.

“Pfah! Whew... I think I might be feeling a little tipsy...not! Just kidding!”

“Hic...guh...phew! H-Hey, you don’t need to force yourself to keep going, you know,” I said. “How about you just admit your loss already?”

“That’s my line. You’ve slowed down a bunch from when we first started. What’s wrong? Drink up!”

I braced myself and drank it down in one go. Shit...the hell was going on?! Did the guild employee betray us?! I glared at him just to check, but his face paled and he just shook his head as if to suggest he’d never do such a thing. Rrgh... Dammit! Serve her one more spiked drink, then!

Th-This girl’s...unbelievable...

Not only did she order another round without even waiting for me to finish mine, she downed that glass immediately too! Where the hell in her body was she storing all that booze, anyway?! It wasn’t physically possible!

W-Wait a minute...this was a drinking contest, right? In other words...even if she passed out, I couldn’t win unless I drank more than her? N-No! As long as I knocked her out, I could come up with some reason to make it my win...except she was still conscious! Damn you, go to sleep already! Why are you still awake?! I can’t let the captain see me like this... Wait, come to think of it, where did she go? I know she said she was going to the bathroom, but she’s taking her sweet time...

Wait, don’t tell me... She escaped on her own and left us here?! It can’t be!

The girl set her empty tankard down on the counter. “Whew, I feel like my cheeks are getting a little hot. Another round, please, mister!”

“Y-You...b-bitch... What kind of monster are you...?!” I muttered with a belch. “A-Another!” I felt an intense wave of nausea, and the contents of my stomach nearly shot up my throat. Oh, shit...

“Oh? What’s wrong, giving up already?”

“Bububaabaaaa.”

“Ew, say it, don’t spray it. Don’t just spit out all that booze—honestly, what a waste.”

I’d quickly raised my hands to my mouth, but it had been too late. Because the booze had gone down so easily, I’d overestimated my limit... It was indisputably my loss. Within my hazy consciousness, I heard the girl declare her victory.

“Still, I guess this means I win! Hooray! Way to go, me! Mister, just put everything on their tab, as we agreed!”

“R-Right away.”

“And let that be a warning to all of you. Next time you hit on someone, make sure it’s not me. Unless you’d like to challenge me to a rematch—I’ll take you on anytime! Bwa ha ha!”

“N-Ngh...”

“J-Just you wait... We won’t forget this!”

After that, my mates carried me out of the building while I was covered in my own vomit, on display for all passersby to see. Well, at least the captain didn’t see me in this state, so I suppose that’s a small mercy? Still, if she felt like she needed to fly the coop, she must have been sure I would lose! Shit, shit, shit! You damn brat... Don’t think I’ll forget this humiliation!

#Side: END

My name’s Karina, and I just won a drinking contest against some big, bad pirates! Huh? I cheated since I only pretended to drink, you say? No, no! My spatial magic is a part of my body too, you see. Therefore, my closed space is really just an extension of my stomach! See? No cheating here! Except my reward for winning—the pirate captain’s stockings—got away from me in the end...but next time we meet, I’m definitely gonna get ’em! Hmph!

Though, as a small bit of revenge, I did put a bunch of snacks on their tab—like dried fruit and nuts and stuff. Served them right! Plus I safely stowed all the booze they’d made me drink, so I made a huge profit! Mwa ha ha!

Now then, I’d kept Aishia waiting for too long, so it was time to go home. That drinking contest had gone on longer than I’d expected. Feeling pleased with myself, I pretended to leave the Trader’s Guild through the door and entered my closed space. Aishia greeted me immediately.

“Welcome back, master. Oh, is that alcohol I smell on you?”

“Thanks for the warm welcome. Yeah, I had a little drinking contest with some pirates, and I beat ’em!”

“Pirates in Verald... Were they the Marinebell Pirates, by any chance?”

“Oh, yeah, I think that was what they called themselves. The guy I outdrank was one of their officers, apparently.”

“I see,” Aishia said, nodding. “Since it’s you, master, I’m sure I don’t have to worry, but I’ll let you know about this just in case. Captain Maririn, their leader, is a legendary figure who has led the Marinebell Pirates for over a hundred years now.”

“Over a hundred years? Seriously?” She certainly didn’t look like some old hag, though...

“She shows up in a few minstrel’s songs too. Now ring your bells, Marinebell Pirates, ring your bells today! The beautiful captain, her red hair flowing, her gold eyes fixed on her prey. She ate a mermaid liver, and it gave her eternal youth; loved by the seas and feared by her foes, only Maririn knows the truth. Like that. I suspect someone probably just inserted Maririn’s name into a preexisting legend, though.”

I see. That would certainly make sense. But another possibility came to my mind. “Or...what if she has one of the Goddess’s sacred treasures?”

“Oh! Indeed, that would certainly explain her so-called eternal youth!”

That’s right, sacred treasures. The very same sacred treasures the Goddess asked me to recover as an aside to sock gathering. They were incredible items with divine powers; in fact, just the other day, the Orc King had become super popular with the forest dwellers as a result of eating one, and he’d mobilized his new friends to attack Solasidore. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s what happened.

Maririn must have also used one of these treasures to retain her youth forever! They’re pirates, after all, and when you think of pirates, you think treasure! She must have found a sacred treasure during her travels.

“Then I’m guessing you plan to steal this sacred treasure from the Marinebell Pirates, master?”

“Mm... Not at the moment, since we don’t know for sure yet if she even has one. And it’s not like I really need to recover the treasure, so I might just let her keep it.”

Yeah... Even if she did use a sacred treasure to stay young, I wasn’t brave enough to come between a woman and her beauty. Even I knew that’d be a bad move. I was sure the Goddess wouldn’t mind too much—once I brought her a pair of socks that were even more valuable!

“Well, whatever,” I continued. “More importantly, Aishia, I happened to nick some strong wine from those pirates, so let’s have some drinks! You like alcohol, right?”

“Yes, I’d love some!”

Thus we toasted each other, and we enjoyed the pirates’ wine together. And apparently after just one glass, I was out like a light. According to Aishia, I slept like a log until noon! Urgh...and on top of sleeping the day away, I had a hangover when I woke up. My head was throbbing like crazy!

＊ ＊ ＊

When I woke up at noon, I left the house through the same portal I’d made at the guild entrance, and this time, Aishia came along.

“If you need me, master, I’ll be over by the food stands.”

“Don’t worry, I’ve already marked you so that I’ll know where you are. I’ll come meet you once I’m finished here.”

While Aishia was off gathering information on the most delicious food the town had to offer, as I’d asked her to, I planned to get Miss Harumikazuchi’s request out of the way. She’d asked me to get her some lube, no doubt an indispensable commodity for an establishment of the night like Shunrai. Not just any lube, though—the powdery kind that got all sticky when it was dissolved in water. Our conversation had sounded something like this:

“Actually, there’s something I’ve been wanting from there as well.”

“Oh? Then just tell me where I can find it and I’ll buy them all up in a split second!”

“Tee hee, I’m glad you’re up for it, but I doubt you can get them that quickly. I’d like some lube, but I want the powdered kind, and I’ll pay you one silver coin for each bag. But I’ll only buy the high-quality stuff—anything less than satisfactory, no sale. Got it?”

By the way, apparently you could tell the quality of the powder by its taste. “The good stuff is flavorless and doesn’t smell. The bad stuff smells terrible, and it tastes worse. Still, even the good stuff will get you sick if you swallow too much, so be careful” was what the fox lady had said.

In terms of spendable money, I currently had fifty silver. The Trader’s Guild had paid me fifteen silver for Li’l Satie’s alcohol, and that was even after I’d given Harumikazuchi and Blade some of the stock, so it had been a good deal! I’d thought Satie had foisted that liquor onto me, but she might have actually done me a huge favor. If I ever see her again, I suppose I ought to thank her.

The other thirty-five silver were from a combination of selling the other wares in my possession, like honey from Solasidore, to the Trader’s Guild (at market value, of course), my delivery quest reward from the Adventurer’s Guild, and the money I’d already had before coming to Verald. Like I said, though, that was just the money I was able to spend—I’d set aside more for travel, food, and the like. I had Aishia with me, after all, so I’d have to pay for two!

Now, it was time to find the lube-selling store Harumikazuchi had told me about. Apparently, it was a magic item shop. That’s right, it was a magic item shop! (That’s a big deal, so I said it twice!)

“I get to visit a magic item shop in another world! It’s like I’m living the isekai dream!”

Come to think of it, maybe I should try crafting some magical items too. They’ve gotta be pretty convenient! Huh? Why would I need those when I can do pretty much everything already with my spatial magic, you ask? Well...

What if I want to light something on fire? Oh, right, I can just put fire in my closed space to use anytime.

What if I want to create water? I can just store water in my closed space.

Then what if I want something that emits light? Yeah, I can use my spatial magic for that too. Looks like you’ve got a point! The Goddess’s spatial magic sure is OP! Still, there has to be some magic item out there that does something spatial magic can’t, right? Besides, I may be able to use spatial magic as easily as one of my own limbs, but it’s not like anyone else can use it as freely as I can. At the very least, I could buy some magic items for Aishia to keep handy...that said, she seems pretty adept at using my closed space back at base already!

Still, I couldn’t use my magic to just create lube from scratch, so that was something, at least. Surely the use of magic items would open up a brand-new set of new possibilities for me!

It didn’t take me long to locate the store in question. It wasn’t exactly in plain sight, but with my spatial detection ability, I had no trouble whatsoever. I just had to look for a building with a suspicious-looking sign at the door, like the fox lady had described.

I opened the door to the shop and walked in. From the outside it looked like someone had just stuck a shabby, handmade shop sign onto their own house, but the inside looked no different from your average general store. There were all sorts of things on the shelves, most of which I’d never seen before and couldn’t even fathom their purpose, and none of them had price tags. Like this thing over here with jagged edges, for instance. What on earth is this for?

“E-Excuse me, I was told that you sell lube here?” I called out to the empty counter. After repeating “Hellooo? Anyone there?” a few times, a man—the store owner, I assume—finally appeared.

“Oh, a customer. Welcome. Lube, you say? Yeah, I make it here myself. Who sent you?”

“O-Oh, Harumikazuchi—sorry, Miss Harumikazuchi, proprietor of Shunrai.”

“Oh, that fox woman, you say? Yeah, she’s a regular. How many are you buying?”

“Er...as many as you have, I guess? Oh, but I’d like to check their quality first.”

“Go ahead. Here’s a sample.” He set a small pouch on the counter, and inside was a white, powdery substance. I licked my pinky finger to wet it, touched the powder, then licked it off my finger. Hmm... It didn’t really taste like anything, so it was probably high-quality. No wonder Harumikazuchi sent me here.

But, uh, this feels kind of...shady, like I’m buying some illegal drug. It’s like I’m an outlaw in a movie or something. Feels kinda cool, if I’m being honest.

“All right, no problems with the quality. How much?”

“One silver per pouch. How many do you want?”

Mm...one silver coin, huh? That was exactly the rate Harumikazuchi offered me, so I wasn’t gonna profit...upon factoring in expenses, I’d be in the red, right? For a moment, I considered buying one and copying the rest, but it would mean breaking my own rule, so that wasn’t an option. In that case, I’d just have to haggle.

“If I bought thirty silver’s worth, would you sweeten the deal a little?”

I had fifty silver at the moment. I figured thirty would be a reasonable amount, in case I wanted to buy other things besides lube. Come to think of it, how many bags’ worth did Harumikazuchi want, anyway? She didn’t really say, did she?

“Sorry,” the shopkeeper replied. “This is high-quality stuff, so I can’t take anything less. If you doubt me, just ask the Trader’s Guild.”

“You can’t help me out at least a little? I’ve got taxes to pay and stuff!”

“Hmm, I wonder,” he said while glancing furtively at my chest. What, are you about to give me ten percent off if I let you grope me or something? A beautiful woman’s boobs really can cause prices to plummet, huh? Well, I already let an old woman rub ’em in exchange for fruit milk, and I guess this wouldn’t be much different. And I used to be a guy, so it’s not like I don’t understand the appeal! Still, it’s a little too embarrassing to suggest myself, so if you wanna cop a feel, you’ve gotta be the one to ask me first, like that shopkeeper back in Solasidore. I’m a shy girl, you know.

“Hmm, I wonder,” he repeated.

“Um... Isn’t there anything you can do?”

“Hmm, I wonder.”

Now he was openly gazing at my boobs, not even trying to hide it anymore. I folded my arms to subtly cover them up. Was he waiting for me to say it? What a chicken! If he’d just been honest, I would have let him, but now he’s missed his chance!

“Then what if I buy some magical items? This is a magic item shop, isn’t it?”

“Oh, right. Yeah, if you buy a few, I’ll give you ten percent off.” Was it just me, or did he look slightly disappointed? Anyway, now I just needed to buy some magical items—provided they were in my price range, of course. If they were, like, a gold coin or something, I wasn’t buying.

“By the way, what’s this one do, and how much is it?” I pointed to the item with the jagged edges that I’d seen before.

“Er, what did that one do again?” the shopkeeper said, screwing up his face as he tried to remember. C’mon, this is your store. Shouldn’t you be knowledgeable about your own stock? “Oh, now I remember. This lets you cut parchment paper in a specific shape. It costs one silver.”

“A specific shape? What do you mean by that?”

“You set it on top of a sheet of parchment, and it cuts the paper along its outline. See how it’s square? That’s so it fits onto the paper. Then you just press this button on top, and it cuts the paper to its size.”

“Er... Can you not just use scissors instead?”

“Well, that’s why it’s still on the shelf.” He chuckled. “If you’d take it off my hands, that’d be a big help.”

“Oh, now I see.” Well, it was good that it was cheap, but I had no paper-cutting plans at present, so I browsed the other items instead.

“They’re not on display right now,” the shopkeeper said, “but I do have some golems in stock, if you’re interested.”

“You have golems for sale? Really?”

“Yeah. They’d run you more than a horse and buggy, though. Two gold.”

Then don’t suggest it! I don’t have that kind of money! “Do you have anything, like, easier to use?”

“Well, these fire starters here are my best-selling item. They’re three silver each.”

“Can I take a look?”

The shopkeeper took out a round sphere roughly the size of a tangerine. Apparently it had firewood inside, and when you pressed the switch, it caused the wood to ignite. You could also only use it ten times.

“That seems awfully expensive for an item that you can only use ten times,” I muttered.

“True, but the nobles often buy them to light up their fireplaces and such. And to be honest, their limited uses keep them coming back for more. That’s why they’re my most profitable item.”

“Oh, I see. Would you happen to have anything that an adventurer or a merchant might find useful?”

“Hmm, nothing like that here, I’m afraid. Oh—they’re not exactly what you’re looking for, but what about those on that shelf? They’re five large coppers each, so they should be in your price range.”

I looked where he was pointing. On the shelf were some small, pink, spherical objects also about the size of tangerines. What could these be?

“They’re nothing too impressive; when you press the button on one, it makes a noise and vibrates,” he explained. “Back in the day when I was studying magecraft, this was one of the first things I made as practice. It’s a toy for children, to comfort them.”

“You don’t say... Hmm?” A small, vibrating sphere?! And it’s pink?! “Can I try it out?”

“Sure, go ahead.”

Having gotten permission, I pressed the button. It made a sound like a kid’s bugle—or a fart—as it came to life and started vibrating. I tried covering it with my hand, and that didn’t dilute the vibration at all. In other words, it was pretty strong.

“What do you think?” the shopkeeper asked. “I made those round and smooth so that they’d be safe for my daughter to use, and that’s why they’re pink too. Man, that takes me back. She was just a baby back then, and now I’m an old man...”

“The noise is a nuisance,” I said. “Do you have any that don’t make that sound?”

“Huh? But the sound is what kids love the most, right? I mean, back when my daughter was—”

“I don’t need it. I’ll buy one without sound, though, if you have it.”

“Er... I’ll just take the voice function out, then. It’ll only take a second, so give it here.” He took out what looked like a flathead screwdriver, popped the sphere open, and removed one of the parts inside. Oh, so I guess that’s like its voice box.

“There. Since it’s missing a function, I’ll let you have it for three large coppers.”

“Really? In that case, I’ll buy two. But I’ll pay you another large copper for the extra labor, so here’s a silver coin.”

“I don’t mind, but are you sure? Er, in that case, let’s see... It’s a ten percent discount per ten bags of lube, so eleven bags for ten silver. So, thirty-three bags sound good?”

Huh? I get the feeling that’s different from what you said before, but I’ll take it! “Oh, but make sure they’re all the same quality as the sample, okay?”

“Don’t worry, Harumikazuchi’s a valued customer of mine, so I won’t slight her on the quality of her lube. But I don’t blame you for asking. When you’re a merchant, it’s always good to double-check.”

I did scan them with my spatial magic, just in case. Good, there wasn’t anything else mixed in, and the amount and quality were uniform for each. Not that I was surprised, since Harumikazuchi frequented this place herself. Though, considering my travel expenses and such—even after buying so many cases my backpack was nearly full to bursting—I wasn’t gonna profit off this much at all.

Once we’d settled on a price for the lube, I turned my attention once more to the vibrating sphere. “Heh heh... Oh yeah, this is gonna sell.”

“Huh? You’re gonna sell it? Even after I removed the sound function? Just to let you know, even a beginner alchemist could easily make one of these.”

Oops, looks like I spoke my thoughts out loud. Well, whatever. Developing new products is important in sales, right? Might as well ask him. “What do you say, shopkeeper? Want to go into business together?”

“Business? This discussion suddenly got a lot more serious, don’t you think?”

“I’ve got an idea that’ll make these things fly off the shelves. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain...I think. Probably.”

“Sounds dubious, so I’ll pass. Now pay up and get out of here. You’re sitting at thirty-one silver right now.”

Aw...sounds like he doesn’t trust me. Well, whatever. If even a beginner alchemist can make these, it means I can make them too! Rather, considering how they’d all need to have their sound function removed otherwise, it’d be better for me to make them on my own!

“Wait, alchemy? Don’t you use alchemy to make potions, though?”

“That’s also alchemy, but magecraft is a different field from potion brewing. Though you use the same cauldron for both, so it’s not entirely different.”

So potion brewing and magecraft were both alchemy, but considered different fields of study. I see. “Then maybe I’ll try my hand at it too. Mister, teach me how to craft magic items! Or at least just point me to somewhere that will.” I didn’t have any trouble making potions, so I assumed magecraft would be just as easy for me.

“Well, if you’re interested, I do have this old alchemy textbook I used back in the day. I’ll sell it to you for ten silver.”

“Deal! That makes forty-one silver in total, right? Here you go!”

“Pleasure doing business. Here’s the book. Please take good care of it, if you can.”

Hell yeah, Getting into Alchemy (Magecraft Edition) acquired! With this and my woodworking skill (read: spatial magic), I should be able to create all sorts of different things. Like, for instance...vibrators!

Now then, I’d bought all I’d come here to buy, as well as a book that would help me greatly in my next sales venture. With this, I had no more business in Verald, so it was time to head back to Solasidore and deliver the lube. After rejoining Aishia, we left through the town gates.

Then, a few minutes later, I covertly teleported us both back into the town.

“There, that should do it. Now we just need to wait the same amount of time it takes to get back to Solasidore. Until then, we’re free to do whatever here!”

“Yes, master!”

Yep, that’s right. My plan all along was to leave through the gates as if I were heading to Solasidore, bypass the gates by teleporting back in, and spend the “travel duration” enjoying myself in Verald with Aishia. Last time we’d just waited it out in our base for several days, but I was sure Aishia would rather be out in public seeing the sights instead of cooped up in our base with me.

“No, master, that’s not the case at all. In fact, I’d like to be by your side whenever I can, breathing the same air as you at all times. Indeed, it’d be ideal if all of the air in the world was replaced with your breath.”

“O-Oh, you don’t say?” Guh, I’m falling for this girl all over again! I want to make her dream come true! I wanna become her mouth-to-mouth oxygen tank! But wait, I can’t forget the words of Shildon the wise—slaves can lie to their masters as naturally as breathing! Er...well, it’s fine! She doesn’t have me completely deceived just yet, so I can pretend she’s being completely genuine just a little longer, right?! (Yeah, I know, if I’m saying things like that, it’s probably already too late.)

“Now, first let’s indulge in some of the local seafood!”

“Very good, master! The food stands are right this way!”

Aishia and I made our way through the port town. I’d already had her gather information on the local eating spots, so she led the way. As she dragged me by her soft, tiny hand, a bustling street lined with food stands came into view, and the mouthwatering smell of grilled squid and shellfish reached my nostrils.

To make sure I didn’t leave a record of my transactions here, I couldn’t use my guild ID to pay. However, I’d allotted seven silver of my budget to use for this sightseeing portion of my stay in Verald. Once that was all spent, I planned to go back to base and take it easy there until I could head back to Solasidore.

“Aishia, you’re good with seafood, right?”

“Yes, master! I love any food that pairs well with alcohol!”

Well, you are a half dwarf, after all, so I should have expected that answer. I scanned the food stands. Oh! They’ve got Japanese scallops! And sautéed with butter too?! No way! Now I feel like I need some shoyu...and some sake too, while we’re at it.

Oh, but wait! It’s not Japanese, but I do have that wine I nicked from the pirates yesterday—both red wine and white! And with seafood, white wine would probably pair better.

“Er, master, are you sure that drinking out here is a good idea?”

“Guh... No, I guess not.” That was close...I was nearly about to drink in the middle of the day out in public like some alcoholic. That wouldn’t be a good look, so it’d be better to take the seafood to go, then enjoy it with drinks back at base.

“Hey, mister! Two orders of sautéed scallops, please!”

“Comin’ right up.”

Suppressing my desire to eat them right on the spot, I paid for the scallops, pretended to put them in my backpack, and placed them in my closed space instead. Luckily, I’d brought some small wooden boxes just for this occasion so that it wouldn’t look like I was placing the food in there containerless. Guh, they smell so delicious...but I can endure! After all, now that they’re in my closed space, they’ll still be just as hot and fresh as when they were first made!

“Huh? You’re not gonna eat now?” the vendor asked. “You ought to eat ’em while they’re hot, y’know!”

“Wha? Oh, well, er...”

“They’re not for us, they’re for our family back home,” Aishia said. “We’ll heat them up when we get back, so no need to worry.”

Wow, Aishia! Nice save!

“Oh, is that so? I see. Still, don’t blame me if you end up having stomach problems afterward.”

“Yes, we understand. Don’t we, master?”

“Yeah, even if it does happen, we won’t hold you liable. I swear it on the Goddess’s name.”

“Well, if you say so. Still, I’d eat those as quick as I could if I were you. Seafood starts to go bad the second it leaves the water.”

I’ve got time stopped in my closed space, mister, so we’ll be just fine. Man, I’m glad I thought to build those wooden boxes to store them in.

“By the way,” I asked, “where’d you go to buy seafood this fresh?”

“The morning market. It’s already ended for today, though... Oh, but come to think of it, there are fishmongers here who sell to the general public.”

“Oh, okay. I’ll check them out, then. Where are they?”

The vendor informed me of the locations. Perhaps because I’d bought something from him, he seemed eager to give me all sorts of info. Though his eyes were also glued to my chest, so it might’ve just been because of my looks. Heh heh, that’s right, bask in my beauty.

“Thanks, mister!” I said. “Any other food stands here you’d recommend?”

“Let’s see...the fried kraken’s a must. The fried merman’s a personal favorite, but it’s an acquired taste, so I’d steer clear if you’re new to seafood.”

“Krakens are like squids, so that’s probably fine, but merman doesn’t sound like something I’d want to try.”

“Really? Mermen are delicious, though,” Aishia said.

You can’t be serious, Aishia. She explained that minstrels sang about delicious food too, so she had to try all sorts of delicacies while in search of song material. Huh? The fins are especially delicious, you say? You can’t be serious, Aishia. (x2).

Anyway, we went to the stall he recommended, then asked the vendor there for their recommendations and continued on like that until we’d bought enough food to feed a large family. Now we could just take our time eating them whenever we felt like it. Still, I avoided the fried merman stall... What’s that, Aishia? It’s popular because it’s good for you and extends your lifespan? Ha ha, you don’t say... (looks away)

Oh! When I averted my eyes, I saw a cute girl ahead manning one of the stalls! She had a bandanna on her head and was wearing shorts, so she looked a little like a pirate. No doubt her socks would net me some serious SP.

“Hey, you two. Came to buy some of our seafood stew too? Are you sure you can eat all that food by yourselves?”

“Yes, we have a lot of hungry mouths to feed, so it won’t be a problem. Oh, we brought our own pot, so just put it in here,” Aishia replied.

“All right, if you say so. Five servings’ worth, you said? You feeding an orphanage or something?”

“Well, something like that. Thank you very much,” Aishia said.

Once Aishia paid for the stew, I deposited it in my closed space. Hmm, if possible, I’d like to get that girl’s socks too. But I can’t just ask a stranger to give me her socks in public... Oh, whatever, why the hell not? I steeled myself and asked her point-blank. “Er, miss, you’re such a beauty, and I know this is awfully forward of me, but...would you sell me your socks?!”

“Wh-What?! M-My socks?!”

“I-I’ll pay you money for them...it’s just...my sister’s terminally ill, and the only thing that’ll cure her is socks from a beautiful woman!”

“Huh?! What kind of illness is that?! Who could possibly contract such a disease?!”

I immediately thought of the Goddess, though in her case, it was most likely a mental illness. “Er, well, they’ll be used as an ingredient in a curative potion, I think. I don’t know the details myself.”

“Oh, a potion. I see. First I’ve ever heard of socks being used as an ingredient...but I’m sorry. I can’t sell you mine.”

“I’ll pay a medium silver, even!” I wasn’t going to back down, but the woman just shook her head.

“That’s not the problem. Look, I’m wearing sandals today. I don’t have any socks to give you. Sorry about that.”

“N-No way...” I was dumbstruck. The lady showed me her feet from behind the counter. Indeed, she was wearing sandals, and without socks. I felt like I’d learned yet another of this world’s truths: Just because a woman was beautiful didn’t necessarily mean she was wearing socks! Shit! Because this was the Goddess’s world, I’d automatically assumed all beauties would be wearing them! How embarrassing! If my socks were to be assigned an SP value right now, no doubt it’d be sky-high!

I apologized to the lady and hurried away as fast as I could.

“Master, would you like my socks instead? I’m not a beauty or anything, but if mine will do...”

“No, Aishia, you’re definitely beautiful! That’s an indisputable fact! I’ll use your socks at some point, so don’t you worry about that. I’m saving those for later. Right now, however, it’s more important to have a wide variety.”

“I see. A wide variety, you say?”

Come to think of it, how were this world’s socks made, anyway? The socks Aishia was wearing now were the same kind she’d brought with her from the slave trader, and belatedly, I was starting to realize how bizarre the socks here were. Harumikazuchi’s had been made of some top-class, velvety material. Li’l Satie’s were cotton, like the kind you’d find in Japan in a three-pack for a thousand yen. And even Maririn had been wearing black stockings. There was definitely a discrepancy between the quality of their socks and the level of this world’s technology.

The more I thought about it, the more curious I became. Oh, man, now I’ve done it. Now I’m not gonna quit thinking about it until I find out.

“If it’s a variety you want, why not head to the church? You should be able to get all sorts of socks there.”

“Huh? The church?”

“Yes. They sell socks at the church, you know.”

Are you serious? The Goddess really did place a high importance on socks when she made this world, then... No, at this point, I’m not even surprised.

＊ ＊ ＊

After tiding ourselves over by snacking on some of the food from the food stands, Aishia and I made our way over to the Verald church. I’d decided to save the drinking for later that night—right now, solving the mystery of the church’s socks was the higher priority. I couldn’t contain my curiosity—I was supposed to be beautiful and all-knowing, after all!

The outside of the church didn’t look much different from the one in Solasidore. What’s more, there was even a pink-haired, hot-bodied nun at the entrance, just like before. “Wait, huh? Is that you, Siesta?”

“Yes, how can I help you, miss— Oh, hello, my colleague. Do you need something?”

Yep, that’s right—the succubus sister, Siesta, is at the Verald church.

“Er, when did you get here from Solasidore?” I asked.

“Oh, that was my cousin you talked to. Siesta is a common name, you see, though it can make things confusing at times.”

“Cousins that have the same name, huh? You don’t say.” So what, was this like the nurse characters in those pocket monster games? Though even in the games their names at least had slight variations.

However, Siesta beckoned me over and whispered softly in my ear. “At least, that’s what we tell people, but we’re actually separate entities sharing a single plane, my colleague.”

Whoa, her breath in my ear’s so stimulating! “Huh? What do you mean by that?”

“We Siestas are all separate beings, but the knowledge and memories between us are the same. The Siesta from Solasidore says hello!”

Oh, so they really are the same person! They’re just separate from one another, I guess?

“It’s the Goddess’s...cloud system, I think she calls it? While there are multiple Siestas, we all share the same memory bank. It’s her original divine invention.”

Cloud? As in, the system that allows someone to access the same information through any terminal connected to a shared network? Does the Goddess have her own server or something? That’s pretty...modern.

“There’s a Siesta stationed at every church all over the world, but we’re all different from one another. Er... It’s complicated, so please don’t question it too deeply, okay?” She licked my ear with the tip of her tongue. Whoa!

“S-Siesta?!”

“Keep that our little secret,” she said, putting her index finger to her lips. Damn, she was cute. Should I ask her for her socks? Obviously I couldn’t deliver them to the Goddess...but nothing said I couldn’t take them for myself, right?

Before continuing the discussion, I sent Aishia away temporarily. I had the feeling that I was about to hear some more truth bombs related to the Goddess that residents of this world had no business hearing.

“So, my colleague, what did you need?”

“Oh, well, I heard that socks are made here at the church, and I was just wondering if that was true and how you made them.”

“Yes, I make them here at the church and sell them to clothing stores as a side gig. It’s not available to the public, but there’s a special magic item I use to make them.”

“Oh, I see, so there’s a magic item for that too?” Well, this was the Goddess’s world, so I wasn’t really surprised. But still, we’re making awfully specific and self-serving items available, aren’t we, Goddess?

“For material, I use cotton, silk, and other fabrics. And right now my supply’s running low, so if you could bring me some more whenever you feel like it, that would be wonderful. I can’t pay very much, but I’ll make the socks cheaper to compensate.” Siesta looked at the large backpack I was wearing as she spoke. So I could also donate material for socks to the church, huh? Good to know, but I decided I might as well buy a few pairs now. One never knows when they’ll come across a beautiful girl needing some socks to wear!

“The cheapest pair I have is one large copper,” Siesta said.

“Oh, gotcha. That’s a little expensive for a pair of socks, but not unreasonable.” In Japan, that’d come out to around a thousand yen. And while some girls—like the one at the food stand, for instance—probably preferred to wear sandals instead, traveling merchants would probably buy at that price in order to protect their feet. Like Li’l Satie, for instance.

“Actually, keep this just between us,” Siesta said, “but it’s not really a magic item. It’s a sacred treasure that converts any material into socks, not just fabric.”

“Wait, seriously? Er, but wait, the Goddess told me I needed to recover those sacred treasures...”

“Yes, I’m getting a divine message from her now. She says, ‘Whoa there, hold your horses! Recovering those isn’t going to earn you any SP! In fact, if you do, I’m gonna get angry! Those are special sacred treasures, so leave them alone. Also, don’t even think about copying those socks and delivering them to me!’ End divine message.”

Well, I figured as much. No doubt she put those treasures in this world because of her fetish, so of course she’d exempt them. And even if I were to deliver those socks to the Goddess in the future, I couldn’t copy them with spatial magic and deliver the copies too, because apparently the smell of my magic was a huge turnoff for her.

“Siesta, your impression of the Goddess just now was really cute.”

“Thank you very much. I’m honored.” She bowed politely.

More importantly, did you really put one of these sacred treasures in every church just for the sake of socks? The very same sacred treasures that were the cause of the world’s energy deficit? This world was in trouble, and you were just doing whatever you wanted, huh? As I thought, my freewheeling nature didn’t even hold a candle to yours, Goddess.

“Also, she wants you to have these.” She passed me a bag.

“Hm? What’s this?” I opened it, and there were a bunch of brand-new pairs of socks inside.

“She says it’s a freebie, since it’s your first time visiting the sock shop. Please use them at your leisure.”

“In other words, she wants me to find wearers for all these and deliver them once they’re worn?”

“Most likely,” Siesta said.

You never change, do you, Goddess? Perhaps I should at least count it a blessing that she didn’t give me a time limit.

＊ ＊ ＊

While I was at it, I decided to donate some of the food I’d bought to the church. But since I didn’t have any socks to deliver, I didn’t meet with the Goddess this time, and I went back into town to reunite with Aishia.

“Now what should we do, master?” she asked.

“Well, is there anything you’d like to do in particular? If not, guess we’ll just walk around town and sightsee a little more.” Since I’d pretended to leave the town, I couldn’t go to the Adventurer’s Guild or the Trader’s Guild, and it’d be tough for me to get a room at the inn too. (Not that I’d need to, since I was using my base in closed space as my lodgings anyway.)

So I was thinking I’d just wander aimlessly around town with Aishia, but when I walked onto a road near the port, I spotted something incredibly interesting.

“What is that?” I muttered. It was twice as large as a human, walked on two legs, and looked like it was made of stone. It had this sleekness about it too, like a robot. It was pretty cool-looking.

“That would be a golem, master.”

“A golem! Indeed, it sure looks like a golem to me!” Now that she’d mentioned it, it did look exactly like I’d imagine a golem to look. It also seemed like the armor on its chest could open up, maybe to reveal a cockpit or something?

“However, it doesn’t look like the wild monster type, but one made through alchemy,” she added.

“I see, so they can be made with alchemy!” Come to think of it, the magic item shopkeeper had also mentioned he sold golems. Now I knew why! “And can you use a magic item to ride or control it too?!”

“That’s probably the case, though I’m not too knowledgeable on that subject, so I can’t say for sure,” Aishia said.

“Hey, miss!” a passerby said, overhearing our conversation and coming over. “Are you interested in golems, by any chance? I can tell you all about them if you’d like.”

What, is he hitting on me? Perfect timing, then. I’ll get him to tell me all about them. “Yes, they interest me, but I don’t know much about them. How do they move?”

“That golem over there’s on semiauto mode. The cockpit’s empty, so right now it’s just moving according to the orders it’s been preissued. You can think of it like taming a monster, if you want.”

Oho, I see. Semiauto mode, huh? And if it’s moving according to previously issued commands, I guess it’s like an AI-programmed robot.

“However, since you don’t have to worry about it disobeying you, it’s actually safer and more reliable than monster taming. It might fail to understand or misinterpret your orders, but it won’t run away on you, at least. But they do require magic stones as fuel, and it gets pretty expensive. Unless you’re some big company with a ton of money, they’re tough to afford.”

So they used magic stones for energy, then. Well, since they were magic items, that stood to reason. Very interesting indeed. “You said there was a cockpit. Does that mean you can ride inside them and control them that way?”

“Absolutely! They’re not easy to pilot, don’t get me wrong, but once you get the hang of it, they can move just as accurately as any human can. Their semiauto mode is already accurate enough to be used for carrying boxes and the like, but there are also more precise tasks out there that call for more direct control, like dismantling an abandoned building. Using only semiauto, the golem might end up breaking something it’s not supposed to.”

Dismantling a building, huh? Uh-oh, that sounded like it’d be really fun. The more I heard, the more it piqued my interest. It sounded like commanding this golem was a lot like operating a piece of heavy machinery, and in fact, it was unloading boxes from a ship before my eyes as we spoke. It could probably take the place of a crane or forklift.

So entering the cockpit gave you more direct control, but you could also issue it commands to move automatically...very neat! “Yeah, this thing’s super cool.”

The man chuckled. “I’m glad you agree. This particular golem belongs to the Marinebell Trading Company, and it’s a brand-new model developed by an alchemist named Swantear. If you’d like to hear more, maybe we could discuss it a little more over tea? My treat.”

“Hmm. Are you really that knowledgeable about golems?”

“Yeah, you could say I’m something of a fanatic.”

What to do? He was hitting on me, like I’d figured, but the prospect did sound enticing, and I didn’t really have a reason to turn him down. As long as he just wanted tea, why not? “All right, as long as it’s just tea. I want to hear more about these golems.”

“All right, score! Then there’s actually a café over here I’d personally recommend—”

“Hold it right there, buddy. This little lady has a previous engagement,” came a voice. Huh? I turned around to look, and a group of men with bandannas on their heads and wearing shirts with horizontal stripes were standing there. In other words, they looked like your bog-standard pirate flunkies.

“Yikes! Th-They’re from Marinebell! S-Sorry, miss, I just remembered I have other plans!” He scurried away.

“Huh? W-Wait!” I cried out after the golem fanatic, but he was gone. Hey, he ran out on me! What gives?!

Meanwhile, the pirate flunkies began to surround Aishia and me. “Who the hell are you guys?” I asked. “You have some business with me?”

“Yeah, as a matter of fact, we do. We’ve been looking for you, little girl. Gomez wants to see you. Come with us.”

“Gomez? Right, that was the name of the guy who lost to me so pathetically in that drinking contest, wasn’t it?”

“Tch. Just shut up and follow. This way.”

It looked like they had no intention of letting me escape, which meant they weren’t leading me to anything good. Damn it, and just when I’d finally found something cool I could toy around with... Wait, huh? That guy said the golem belonged to the Marinebell Trading Company, right? Which meant...

“Oh! I can challenge them to a rematch and ask for that golem if I win! Hell yeah! All right, you guys, let’s go! If it’s a drinking contest you want, I’ll win for sure every time! I swear on the Goddess’s name!”

“Huh? W-Well, actually, I’m not sure what he wants you for...”

“J-Just shut up and follow us!”

The pirates, clearly rattled by my sudden burst of enthusiasm, led me to what looked like a warehouse. They told me to go in, so I did as they said, and someone hit me with a big piece of lumber the moment I passed through the door. Of course, I’d expected this, and not being stupid enough to obediently walk into such a shady situation completely defenseless, I’d activated I Am The Star—a spatial spell that made me invincible—before entering. The wood splintered against my chest, but I was unharmed.

Oh, and of course I put the same spell on Aishia too. Sorry for not mentioning that at first, in case you were worried about her.

The man who’d been holding the lumber looked dumbstruck at the splintered piece of wood in his hands. I could see ten more men lying in wait farther ahead. Just at a glance, it didn’t look like Gomez was among them.

“Oh? Well, that’s an awfully rude way to welcome someone,” I said. “The Goddess isn’t going to like that, you know.”

“Y-You bitch... Get her!”

O Goddess, watch over me! Well, she might not find this interesting enough to tune in, but I decided I might as well call her anyway, just in case.

“Honestly, what did I tell you last time about bothering me?” I sighed, having sent them crashing into the wall with punches and kicks, then fixing their bodies in place so they couldn’t move freely.

“Wh-What did you do to us?! How is this a fair fight?!”

“Fair? You’re the pathetic no-gooders here. Wah, how scary! What were you planning on doing to a weak, defenseless young girl by bringing her to a place like this, anyway?! Perverts! Lechers! I bet your dicks are all the size of daggers!” As I tossed insults at the pirates, I kicked one of them up into the air, sending the man through the ceiling. Oh, but don’t worry, I didn’t make a hole in the roof or anything. I just used a little spatial magic, is all. “You know, I couldn’t care less about that Gomez guy, but where’s your captain Maririn? She owes me her stockings.”

“Shit, she’s a lot more dangerous than we were told! What is she, a monster?!”

“Hey, bitch! If you care about what happens to your little friend here... H-Huh? She didn’t even flinch?!”

One of them had tried to take Aishia hostage, but of course, she was also currently invincible, so it had no effect. Aishia herself looks completely bewildered, but don’t worry, Aishia. You’ll be safe no matter what. I’ll protect you.

“What, resorting to taking hostages now? What, so weak you can’t even finish a little girl off?”

“E-Everyone, gang up on her! Make sure she can’t escape!”

“O-On it!”

The pirates all jumped me at once. I put my head down and crossed my arms in a defensive stance, taking the full brunt of their advance with the resilience of a boulder.

“Haaa!”

“Whoooa!”

I released my guard, arms outstretched as if to say, that won’t work on me! and sending them all flying! Whew, man, I’ve always wanted to do that just once! Throwing all my enemies off me with pure fighting spirit, like an action movie! What a rush! Now, how will I take the others out—

“Huh?! That was all of them just now?!”

Turned out there were no others. I’d finished them all off with that one attack. And since they were all fixed to the spots where they’d landed, they couldn’t fight back even if they were still conscious.

“How was that, Aishia? Did I give you a good show?”

“Oh, yes, master! You were so cool!”

“I know, right? Heh heh.” I puffed out my chest in pride at Aishia’s compliment. But now what? Helping myself to everything in this warehouse seemed like a fair trade for the trouble they’d just put me through, especially since I technically wasn’t supposed to be in Verald. If someone saw me, I could just say it had to be someone else who looked like me. After all, the record showed that Karina the merchant had left the town, and she would have to be on her way to Solasidore right about now, so it couldn’t have been her!

“All right, let’s grab some reparations for our trouble, shall we, Aishia? You head over to the base’s side and take the stuff I hand you.”

“Yes, master!”

While she returned to base, I looked around at the cargo in the warehouse. Of course, it’d probably be bad of me to actually take it all, so what should I pick? Come to think of it, given the flow of events so far, shouldn’t the boss encounter be showing up right about now?

“What the hell happened here?! Stealing from us Marinebell Pirates, are you?”

Oh? Someone did appear, it seemed—a familiar man with a black beard. It was Gomez, and he was smirking for some reason. There were three others behind him as well: one that looked like a scholar, and two pirate flunkies. Aw man, guess it’s just the mid-boss encounter. But that means once I defeat these goons, maybe Captain Maririn will show up!

#Side: Pirate Gomez

I’m Gomez, high-ranking officer of the Marinebell Pirates. After losing to that girl in the drinking contest, my honor and pride were seriously wounded. I’m an officer of the damn Marinebell Pirates and I still got drunk under the table by a little girl! So, I had to get my revenge, for the sake of justice!

After the contest, I had the Trader’s Guild stake out the inns until morning to see which one she was staying in, but she never came out of any of them. I even had them watch the rear entrances, so where was she staying? Where’d she disappear to? Did she skip town somehow? Shit!

“Gomez! We’ve found her!”

“Really?! Finally!” Just before I reached the end of my rope tirelessly searching for her, my subordinate informed me that they’d spotted the girl. Hah! I knew fortune smiled upon me after all!

“Where’d you find her, anyway?”

“Over by the harbor. The others found her and led her into our warehouse, so right now we’ve got her.”

“Heh heh. You don’t say? Well, that’s what she gets for resisting me. Women like her should know their place.” If they captured her, they might have hurt her, but we could just heal her with magic as long as any injuries were minor. Luckily, we pirates had the direct backing of this town’s lord, so we had connections all over, including to doctors. And...that also meant that as long as we didn’t kill her, we could toy with her all we wanted!

“Maybe we could cut the tendons on her feet and turn her into the ship’s pet. Not a bad idea, if I do say so myself! Hey you, tell the ship’s doctor to get over here.”

By the way, the ship’s doctor was also an illegal slave trader who could use magic to bind people into slave contracts. And once the girl was a slave, I could smuggle her on board the ship without the captain’s knowledge.

“Yes, sir! Heh heh, be sure to give us a turn with her too, eh, boss?”

“Sure thing—once I’ve had my fill, of course! Ha ha ha!” In high spirits, I headed to the warehouse where my men had taken the girl captive.

Once I arrived at the warehouse, however, I noticed it was oddly quiet. Hmm? I would’ve thought there’d be more of a commotion in here. Then I noticed a subordinate of mine at my feet, collapsed on the ground.

“Huh? What’d she do, put up a fight and knock you out? You pathetic weakling... Wait, what?” Then I realized it wasn’t just him. Three more of my men were lying on the ground ahead of me. One was stuck in the ceiling, and five more were draped motionless over piles of luggage. They were all groaning in pain.

And the girl was standing there in the middle, completely unharmed.

“Wh-What the hell happened here?!” Just by thinking about it a little, though, I could tell exactly what had happened. The girl fought back and took out all of my men. To think she was that strong...or did she use magic? I immediately changed my tack. “Stealing from us Marinebell Pirates, are you?”

Right—she was a thief who snuck into our warehouse to steal our goods. Then she used unfair tactics to defeat my men who were guarding the place and tried to make off with our property! If she were a thief, then justice was on our side—and we had full authority from the lord here to hand down justice at our discretion!

“Er...no? These guys just called me here and told me to come in. Based on what they said, I thought you had some business with me.”

“Shut your mouth, criminal! I saw it with my own eyes, so don’t think you can talk your way out of it!”

“Oh, so you really want me to be a thief, huh? Well, if you insist.” A smirk appeared on the girl’s lips. Huh? Why was she so confident right now? “I’d thought it’d be too cruel of me to make off with everything in here...but if it’s thievery you want, I suppose I can oblige! Ah ha ha!”

“Excuse me?!” I cried out as the girl cackled loudly. What was she, insane? No, if she took out my men, she probably had some powerful spell at her disposal. That was why she was so sure of herself. I adopted a defensive stance, standing with my legs apart, and watched her every move, making sure to only blink when absolutely necessary—

Blink.

I closed my eyes for an instant, and when they opened, everything in the warehouse was gone.

“Huh?” No, more accurately, it wasn’t everything. My men were still there, sprawled out all over, and they were starting to rise to their feet at last. But all of the cargo had vanished, leaving behind a clean floor. The girl was also nowhere to be seen.

“Huh? Wha?” It was as though everything in the warehouse had instantaneously vanished somewhere else. And then I recalled what the girl had said...thievery. Thievery?! She robbed us?! How?!

“Wh-What’s going on?!” My cries reverberated through the now mostly empty warehouse. No one answered. I was the one in charge of warehouse security, so if anything got stolen out of here, it would be my responsibility!

The ship’s doctor spoke up, his voice shaking. “H-Hey, Gomez, what’s the meaning of this?! Where’s the girl? And where’d all the cargo disappear to?”

“I-I’m not sure, doc. I’m trying to figure that out myself... Hey, you louts! What the hell happened here?!”

“I-I can move again!” one of my men cried. “B-Boss, listen! That girl, that monster, she—”

“It was like shooting fish in a barrel for her!” another wailed.

They continued to prattle on, but none of their pathetic excuses could change the fact that they’d failed. Or the fact that the girl—and the cargo—had disappeared.

“Shut the hell up!” I bellowed. “Look for that cargo! There’s no way she could have made off with a haul like that in an instant! She must have hidden it somewhere!”

“B-But boss, if it was an only an instant, how could she have possibly hidden it all—”

“Quit your babbling and search! Otherwise Captain Maririn’s gonna kill us all!”

The pirates started desperately searching the area. But I already knew it’d be hopeless. The warehouse was practically empty now, so it was obvious we weren’t going to find the cargo anywhere in the building, no matter where we searched.

#Side: END

Welp, looks like I ended up committing theft! Karina’s a bad girl!

I stored all the warehouse’s cargo in my closed space in an instant, along with myself. But I didn’t leave any proof of my crime—save for Gomez and the others’ eyewitness accounts—and besides, they wanted to frame me as a thief, so I just did what they wanted, is all! Rejoice, Gomez! Karina became a thief, just like you wanted me to! And best of all, no one can hold me accountable, since I have a perfect alibi! Yay!

Still, Karina was merciful and kind, so as long as they reflected on their actions, I didn’t mind giving their stuff back. It was really only a prank to get back at them. That said, I didn’t really expect that they would reflect, but just to confirm, I secretly watched them from my closed space as they searched frantically. Hooray for stealth! By the way, I was watching from behind and slightly above them, like a third-person perspective in a video game, through a peephole I’d placed several meters away and camouflaged from view. Would they turn around and notice me? I doubted it—I didn’t think I would have if I were in their position, after all.

Anyway, once Gomez realizes there’s not a single box of cargo left in the warehouse, how will he react?

“Not here... Not here... Not anywhere! What the hell?! We’re screwed! Captain Maririn’s gonna kill meeee!” There were tears in his eyes as he searched the building in desperation. But all the boxes were in my closed space, so he’d never find them!

“Why?! Why are they all gone?!”

“Gomez... I’m sorry, but at this rate, I think we’ll have to report this to the captain.”

“Wait, doc, wait! This must just be some bad dream... We don’t have to let her know...”

“I know it’s hard to admit, but the cargo really is gone. And there’s no way she could have hidden a haul that large anywhere. We already sold many of those boxes too, so it’s going to result in a massive loss.”

It sounded like the scholar guy and Gomez were arguing with each other. Man, this felt so good. Enjoy getting scolded by your captain, Gomez!

“I-It’s okay! I’ll fix this somehow; just don’t call her!”

“Actually, come to think of it... Could this be the divine disciple’s handiwork?”

“The divine disciple? The hell’re you talking about, doc?” Gomez asked.

“Well, I heard that back in Solasidore, a bunch of delinquents turned themselves in to the authorities all at once.”

“Huh? What does that have to do with anything?”

“They all immediately confessed to their crimes, but they couldn’t say why they’d decided to confess, because they swore on the gods’ names not to tell.”

“H-Huh?! Seriously?!”

Oh, right...those guys who skydived without a parachute, huh? Right, that did happen. And indeed, that was my doing. It sounded like they really did confess, just like I told them to. Good, good! It looked like overdoing it on the threats a little paid off after all.

“But actually,” the scholar continued, “someone saw what happened to those delinquents that morning. According to them, they were about to gang up on a girl...then all of a sudden, they vanished.”

Oh, whoops. So someone was watching when I teleported those guys, huh? Well, I suppose I should have considered that possibility, but I guess it just didn’t occur to me at the time.

“And not only that, but the delinquents—who supposedly didn’t even believe in a higher power—got all pious all of a sudden, so folks believed it was the work of one of the gods’ disciples.”

“So what, doc? Are you saying that girl’s one of a god’s disciples? That all our cargo was simply spirited away?!” He trembled with rage, his face growing red, before bellowing out, “Bullshit! Like hell that girl’s a disciple! After all, Captain Maririn’s the only god I know! She’s the goddess of the sea, after all!”

“B-But Gomez, if we look at the situation from a logical perspective—”

“It’s all a scam! A hoax! That girl must’ve used some trick! Shit... I’ll search high and low to find her, and then she’ll pay for this with her life!”

Hmm... Yep, didn’t sound like he was going to be repenting anytime soon. Huh? You’re saying I’m at fault here too? Well, I can’t deny that. I stole their stuff, after all. Let’s listen some more.

“Gomez, think about it. Our golem spent several hours unloading all that cargo, so what kind of trick could possibly cause it all to vanish in an instant?”

“I-I don’t know yet, but I’ll get that girl to tell me that too, once I capture her!”

“And how do you plan to do that? She defeated all of your men with ease, remember?”

“...Guh!” Gomez didn’t seem to have a rebuttal. Well, I was the strongest, after all, so I couldn’t blame him. And I was especially good at escaping—I could teleport to the other side of the world in an instant, if I wanted to.

“Nrggghhh...” Gomez growled, grinding his teeth.

“B-Boss...”

“Wh-What should we do, boss? We can’t go up against a god, can we?!”

“Sh-Shut up, idiots! Don’t panic! Ahhh, dammit! This has got to be a bad dream... If I go to sleep now, will everything be back to normal when I wake up?”

Gomez angrily barked at his subordinates. He still doesn’t look like he’s ready to repent. I’ll just leave them alone for a while and come back to check on them later.

Keeping the peephole where it was, I returned to my base. There, before my eyes, was the pile of cargo I’d nicked from the warehouse, along with Aishia—looking completely at a loss—in front of the boxes.

“Oh, welcome back, master! All these boxes appeared out of nowhere all of a sudden, and I wasn’t sure what to do... Where did these come from?”

“Sorry, sorry. I just got a little carried away, is all. Once those pirates see the error of their ways, I’ll give most of them back, so don’t worry.”

“You’re going too easy on them, master.” Aishia shrugged and shook her head as if to say, Good grief.

You think so? It doesn’t seem like they’re going to repent anytime soon, though.

“Anyway, I’m going to look around and decide which of these I want to keep for myself, so you can go and prepare breakfast.”

“Understood.” She headed to the kitchen. That said, we had all that food from the stands now, so it shouldn’t take her long.

“Now then, time to see what’s in these boxes!” I figured I’d take two or three as compensation, but I still wanted to pick the best out of the bunch, so I’d carefully inspect them all first. Since I’d brought them all over at once, I hadn’t checked what was inside them, and I didn’t want to scan their contents either. Treasure chests should be opened up by hand, after all!

So I randomly selected one of the boxes at the very bottom of the pile (using spatial magic to pull it out without causing the rest of the mountain to topple) and checked its contents. Hm, what is this in here, cushioning? That meant there must be some valuable treasure inside! I used my spatial magic to pry it open—now then, what kind of pirate’s treasure would I find in this wooden box?!

Inside was an adorable-looking child with pointy ears.

“Whoa.” The kid’s eyes met mine. Wait, could this be an elf child? Hmm... Human trafficking, huh? Maybe it’s not my place to say, since I made Aishia my slave, but really, Marinebell Pirates? And a poor kid, no less.

“Er...”

“Ah...”

But then I noticed he was wearing nice clothes—far too nice for him to be a slave. He also wasn’t wearing a collar, so they’d kidnapped him? For a ransom, maybe?

“Uh... Are you okay, kid?” It was a pointless question, really, but he jolted at my question, causing his silver hair done up in a ponytail to bounce. Wait. His? Hers? The pants are kind of unisex, cut off at the knees, but their face is pretty cute... Hmm, nope, I can’t tell. But I can at least tell they’re a beauty regardless.

“Can you understand me? Hello?” I asked.

The kid sniffled. Uh-oh, they’re about to break out into tears. Wait, wait! “Keep quiet,” I said. “The enemy will come this way if they hear you.”

The kid gulped and closed their mouth. Of course, no such enemy was going to show up, given that we were in my base, but they shut up, just as I predicted.

“What are you doing in there?” I asked.

“E-Er... We... We were on the ship, then we got attacked...and I got in this box to hide.”

Oh, I see. So you got in the box of cargo, the pirates picked you up along with the rest of the cargo, and you got placed in the warehouse. Wait, in that case, does that mean this elf is the rightful owner of all this cargo? Then I stole from a kid?

You’ve gotta be kidding me! I’m not into stealing from kids! C’mon, this isn’t how it should be! Give me some villain who deserves to be stolen from instead, like that slave trader or those pirates! I’m not so brazen as to claim ownership of someone’s possessions when they’re right in front of me!

Sigh... Honestly. Still, it wasn’t like I’d prefer the kid to have been killed... Huh? What was that? They’re saying something. Let’s listen.

“P-Please...save my big sister!” The kid gripped my hand tightly, looking desperate.

“Huh? You have an older sister? Wait, you have an older sister! Do tell! Where is she? In one of these other boxes? This one, maybe? Or what about this one?”

“N-No! She... She let the pirates capture her so I’d be safe...”

Hmm, I see, I see. So she put you in the box, and you have no idea what happened to her after that. But based on what you could hear of their conversation from outside, they probably captured her, huh? And while you were hiding inside the box, you and the rest of the cargo got unloaded into the warehouse, and since there were other boxes stacked on top of yours, you couldn’t escape. The attack happened around three days ago, and you survived in the box using water and cleansing magic, huh? Three days ago... Then that must have been the “job” the pirates just got back from the day of the drinking contest!

“You did well to keep hidden,” I said.

“Well, they did open the first lid, but they didn’t open the inner one, so they never found me.”

I took a look at the lid I’d opened and saw that what I’d assumed was cushioning was actually clothing. What’s more, it was a young girl’s outfit. It was no wonder the male pirates weren’t interested in that box, and Maririn couldn’t have fit into that outfit anyway. Which begged the question: What was in the other boxes? I used my spatial magic to do a quick scan. Some were full of clothes, while others had fabric, alcohol, or spices inside. Hmm...definitely no elf girls, at least. Oh, this box looks like it has...golem parts? I bet they’re spare parts for that golem out in the harbor. I can take these, right? Right? I did want a golem, after all...I wonder if I can piece them together to make one somehow!

Well, regardless of whether it was a lucky or unlucky find, it looked like I’d just happened to open the cargo with the elf in it first. Though I was going to open them all up anyway, so even if I hadn’t picked that box first, it only would have been a matter of time.

“Please, miss! The pirates said they were going to capture my sister and turn her into a slave! Please rescue her! I’ll do anything you ask in return, if it’s something I’m able to do!”

“Oh? Did you just say ‘anything’?”

“Y-Yes, anything! As long as I’m able to do it...”

If the girl was this one’s older sister, she would surely be a looker as well. And in that case, if I got her socks, there was no doubt I’d rake in some serious SP! If I got the kid to ask their sister for them, she’d gladly hand them over! “All right! I’ll save your sister, don’t worry! Er... By the way, are you a boy or a girl?”

“A-A boy.”

Shit! A boy, huh? Wait...with a cute face like that, maybe it didn’t matter! In fact, he was so cute that even though I was a guy at heart, I was starting to think he might be fine anyway! Mrrgh... Well, he was a kid, and it wasn’t like I was gonna lay my hands on a child regardless, right? Right.

The Goddess said before that even men’s and children’s socks would do, so the important thing was the shame factor. In other words, if I could max out this kid’s shame meter somehow, I could harvest a good bit of SP from him too! But he’s a guy. So how can I embarrass him...?

“Hey, elf kid. You said you’d do anything for me just now, right?”

“E-Er, yes. As long as it’s something I can do...”

Then I realized. Rather, I had a divine revelation. The clothes in the box were a young girl’s, and they looked like they’d fit this kid exactly. In that case, this must have been the Goddess’s guidance at work!

All right, I’ve made my decision! I’m gonna make this boy into a girl!

Chapter 2

The elf boy said I could do whatever I wanted, so I decided to turn him into a girl to incite his sense of shame and deliver socks of the quality the Goddess wanted. Now then, time for the demon to whisper in his ear—er, I mean, the Goddess’s disciple to guide him!

“Actually, kid, I’ll save your sister, but under one condition. Don’t worry, it’s nothing unreasonable like asking you to become my slave. This is something you’re capable of doing right now.”

“A-And what would that be?”

“I just want you to try on some girls’ clothes for me!”

The boy cocked his head in puzzlement at my straight declaration. “Er... Why?”

“Oh, by the way, are you hungry, by any chance? I bought these sautéed scallops at a food stand. Go on, eat up!”

He hesitated but finally nodded. “A-All right. I’ll eat.” No doubt lured in by the delicious butter smell, he accepted the scallop I held out and started to eat. Considering he’d been eating only preserved foods while in the box, he had to have been starving, and indeed, he ate so quickly that he nearly devoured the shell as well. After wiping the corners of his mouth for him, I gave him a big smile and repeated my proposal.

“Was that good? Now, would you try on those girls’ clothes for me?”

The boy looked uncomfortable, but he nodded again. “If it’ll save my sister, then I’ll do it.”

“Of course I’ll save her. Oh, and your underwear and socks have to be the girls’ kind too.”

“Huh?! Wh-Why?!”

“If I had to give a reason, eye candy, I guess? I just want to see what you look like at your absolute cutest.” As luck would have it, there was also a set of girls’ underwear in the wooden box that would fit him perfectly. As for the socks, I’ll have him wear one of the pairs I got from Siesta in the church. They’re really elastic, so they’ll even fit those slender legs of his!

“The cuter you are, the more motivated I’ll be to rescue your sister, you know.”

“Oooh...”

Good, good, his face was turning scarlet. Now I just needed to praise him for being so cute, and his shame meter would go through the roof. Mwa ha ha! I lifted him out of the box and stood him on the floor in front of me. Damn, he was light! Maybe even more petite than Aishia!

“Now, out of the clothes in this box, pick the outfit that you think would look the cutest on you! Show me your fashion sense! Oh, and make sure you pick a skirt. That’s essential.”

“Urgh... All right, I understand... Wait, huh? C-Come to think of it, where are we, anyway?” He must have noticed that we were in my closed space, because he looked bewildered.

“Oh, right, right, I forgot to mention that, huh? We’re in my secret base right now. When I told you the enemy was coming just now, that was actually a lie. This place is completely safe, so you don’t have to worry.”

“A secret base? Er, but it’s awfully big...and there aren’t any walls?”

Indeed, our secret base really only consisted of our furniture and other household items, doors that connected to the kitchen and our bedrooms, and this wooden box I’d just nicked a bit ago. There was a floor, technically, but no walls or ceilings. It was a space so vast that you could see its horizon.

“Don’t think about it too much, kid. It’s rude to pry into a maiden’s secrets.”

“R-Right...I understand.” The elf child nodded obediently. Well... I guess I can’t keep calling him “elf kid,” can I?

“What’s your name, anyway?”

“Er...”

“Hmm? If you don’t want to say your real name, just make one up. I just need something to call you, that’s all.” He seemed hesitant to tell me. Was there some reason? Well, whatever. Even if he was some big shot who needed to keep his name secret, he couldn’t be a bigger shot than the Goddess herself. Karina’s a tolerant girl—she doesn’t let the little things bother her!

“Th-Then call me Dia.”

“Okay! Miss Dia, right?! You can call me Big Sis Karina!”

“Miss...?” He didn’t say so out loud, but his brow furrowed a little as if to say, I’m a boy, though, remember?

But Dia, I’m treating you as if you were a girl. I’m going to make you into the perfect young lady!

“Er... B-Big Sis Karina, wh-where should I change?”

“Hm? I mean, does it really matter? Just go over there or something... Oh, right, my bad! You’re a girl, so of course you’d be embarrassed to change! Wait right here, I’ll make you a changing space!”

“Huh? Er, no, I’m a boy, so I don’t need one.”

“Oh, c’mon, no need to act all reserved!” I quickly pasted some sheets together onto my space to create a makeshift changing room. They were just blinder curtains, but it’d do the trick. “There you go! Now head in there and change! You can change clothes by yourself, right?”

“How are those sheets staying up on their own...? N-No, I don’t need any help. Thank you.” Dia disappeared behind the sheets to change. Truthfully, the sheets were thin enough that I could see his silhouette through the curtain, but just the knowledge that someone was changing behind a curtain in front of me was enough to get my blood pumping, so it was a trivial matter.

“Big Sis Karina...I’m finished.”

“Oh wow, that was fast! Let’s see... Ngggh!” A black dress and over-the-knee stockings... Oh no, it was perfect! So cute you’d never think she was actually a boy! He probably chose the dress because he was too embarrassed to wear anything less simple or modest, but it really did look good on him! It had that awkward innocence of a boy’s first cross-dressing attempt!

His face was beet red, and he looked rather uncomfortable. Naturally, since he was a guy wearing girls’ clothing! I knew it’d embarrass him—I used to be a guy too, after all. So this was what a little shame could do! No wonder the Goddess called it “the ultimate spice”! Not bad, not bad at all!

“And, I did as you said and put on the underwear too. D-Do you want to check?” He tightly gripped the hem of his skirt.

“L-Later!” I reflexively put my hands up to my nose. No blood actually came out or anything, but whoa, he was so cuuute! I just wanted to embrace him! But I summoned every bit of willpower to stop myself. Phew, so this was what they meant when they said femboys could be cuter than actual girls... I underestimated him. Maybe once I turned him into a girl, I’d feel him up all over!

“A-Are you satisfied?” Dia asked timidly.

“Absolutely! You pass with flying colors! You’re so cute, Mr. Dia! Supercute! Ultracute, even! And the way your silver hair contrasts with the black dress is just exquisite! You’re the cutest! And the embarrassment on your face makes you even cuter!”

I heaped praise onto him. He really was cute. Way too cute! Why was he so damn cute?! He was so cute that I couldn’t even think of any word to describe him other than “cute”! What was this baffling creature?!

“Oooh... I did what you asked, so now you’ll help my sister...right?”

“Oh yeah, I’ll definitely save her! No problem, leave it to me! Despite how I look, your big sis is super strong, you know?”

“I see... That’s a relief. I’m counting on you, Big Sis Karina. In return, I’ll do whatever you ask me to!” He bowed his head.

By the way, even though he was wearing girls’ clothes, I’d called him Mr. Dia just now. This was deliberate—I wanted to remind him that he was a boy wearing girls’ clothes, so that he wouldn’t start getting used to the idea and feel less embarrassed!

“Is there anything else you want me to do for you, Big Sis Karina?” Dia asked.

“Well, for starters, tell me what your sister looks like.”

“Huh? Oh, right, I guess you do need to know that.”

Indeed—if I couldn’t recognize her, I wouldn’t know who to rescue. “Is her face similar to yours, by any chance?” I asked.

“Yes! My sister’s an elf with silver hair, just like me. And...her figure is pretty similar to yours, I guess?”

“I see, I see. Clothes aren’t that great of a reference, so I don’t need to hear about those, but that’s still not much to go on, huh? Well, I guess if I see an elf in trouble who matches the description, I’ll rescue her and just go from there. Considering how cute you are, Dia, she’s bound to be a beauty, so I’ll make every effort to save her!”

“Thank you so much! My sister is incredibly important to me! I love her, so please, I’m counting on you!” Dia bowed to me once more, showing the ponytail at the nape of his neck. Cute! All right, I was sufficiently pumped up now!

“Master, breakfast is ready— Huh?” At that moment, Aishia came in from the kitchen. After walking in to see a cute elf girl bowing to me, of course she’d be confused. She looked at the elf girl, then at me, then back at the elf girl.

“When did you kidnap this elf, master?” she said.

“H-Hey, it wasn’t me! It was the pirates! The pirates, Aishia! Honest!” I turned to Aishia and brought her up to speed on what had happened.

She sighed in exasperation. “Oh, so she was hiding in the pirates’ cargo. Now I understand. And here I thought you’d created an elf girl from scratch or something.”

“No, you clearly thought I kidnapped her! You even said as much!”

“Oh, master, that was just a little joke. You know I would never suspect you of such a thing.”

Guh... She definitely suspects me!

“First off, Dia, could you tell me the whole story?” Aishia asked.

“O-Okay.” According to him, he and his sister had borrowed his family’s company’s ship and personnel to handle some important business but had had the misfortune to encounter pirates along the way. As a result, the pirates had made off with everything on the ship. They’d originally set sail for the harbor of another country entirely, and they weren’t even supposed to be in Verald to begin with.

“But wait, if your ship was actually licensed to use the trading routes, shouldn’t the pirates have left you alone? Were you using the trading routes illegally, by any chance?”

“No, there’s no way! My sister would never do something like that! She went through the official procedures and everything!”

Hmm. You don’t say? Then that means either he or the pirates are lying. Which is it? If Dia’s telling the truth, it would mean the Marinebell Pirates attacked a ship with a proper permit. But can I really take the testimony of a kid at his word?

“Oh. Wait a second...” The little gray cells making up my brain had a sudden flash of insight. I pulled out my Tome of General Knowledge and flipped to the section on trading by ship. Hmm, hmm. I see. Yep, I knew it. Back on Earth, foreign trade by ship was almost always guaranteed to reach its destination, but in this world, shipbuilding and navigation technology weren’t nearly as advanced. On top of that, this world had the threat of monsters, so the likelihood of a successful delivery by ship was actually quite low. Any time you traded by ship, you were more or less taking a huge risk. In other words...

“The pirates could attack a ship with a permit and hide the evidence by saying a monster attacked, or that the ship just encountered trouble and failed to reach its destination. If the ship sank and no one was around to witness it, no one would be any the wiser.” And even if there were some tag or other marking on the cargo the pirates brought back, they could simply say they just picked the boxes up out of the sea, and no one would question them. In fact, salvaging cargo that would have otherwise sunk would look like a good deed and would no doubt put the recipient in the pirates’ debt. In other words, attacking ships was to their benefit.

“Y-You’re kidding! Then that means my sister’s already—”

“No,” Aishia said. “If they made her into a slave, they wouldn’t need to kill her, because she wouldn’t be able to testify all the same. And considering how the pirates have ties with the local lord, it shouldn’t be too hard for them to do so.”

Elves rarely ventured outside of their home country, meaning they’d be valuable. Aishia was saying that was why they wouldn’t want to kill Dia’s sister if they could help it. If there were another way they could keep her from talking, they’d go that route instead. Dia himself had said he’d heard the pirates say something about making the girl a slave, so that fit. It was highly likely that she was still alive.

Well, it was good to know that she probably wasn’t dead, but that meant I had to save her. Karina’s a good girl who never goes back on her word, after all. “All right. Now that we know she’s alive, I’ll find some way to save her.”

“Indeed. I have no doubt you could save her, master, even if both her arms were cut off.” Aishia put both her hands on her hips, looking proud. It’s no wonder she’d think so, since she herself is a living example of that.

“Please save her!” Dia cried. “If there’s something I can do in return, I’ll do it, so just save my sister—”

At that moment, a growling noise rang out from Dia’s stomach.

“Oooh... I’m sorry...”

I laughed out loud. “Guess one scallop probably wasn’t enough, huh? We’ve got plenty of food here, so eat your fill. Aishia, bring in breakfast.”

“Yes, master. I’ll be right back.”

“As for drinks... Well, I guess it’s either water or alcohol? Dia, if I hand you a cup, you can make your own water using magic, right?”

Aishia brought the food from the kitchen and lined it all up on the living room table. Seeing all the food she’d prepared in addition to what we’d bought from the food stands, it felt like we were about to have a party. Now I kinda wish we’d bought some juice while we were out.

“All right, let’s eat! Aishia, you sit down and eat too.”

“Th-Thanks for the food,” Dia said.

“Thank you, master.”

Dia began to eat one of the items from the food stands. He ate politely and with decorum. Considering his clothes also looked rather high-class, and the fact that he and his sister were on their own ship, he must have been from a well-to-do family. He’d also mentioned his family’s “company,” so he was probably a rich kid sheltered from the world around him. Literally, since I found him in a box. Hmm... In that case, maybe his family wouldn’t be too happy to hear that I’d made him cross-dress, but we’d cross that bridge when we came to it. I mean, if things got dicey, I could always make a run for it!

He sure was eating a lot, though, huh? He must have been really hungry. I wanted him to eat his fill, so I decided to go ahead and copy some of this food while no one was looking. There we go... Oops, got a bit dizzy there, so I guess I got a little carried away copying. Deep breaths... All right, we’re good.

“Er, is it just me, or did more food just appear on this plate all of a sudden?” Dia said.

“If you want me to save your sister, I wouldn’t pry too much if I were you,” I replied with a smirk. Good women know how to keep secrets, after all. Just kidding.

“Then the plan from here on is to aid Dia, correct?” Aishia asked.

“Right. I’ve decided to become the kid’s ally. Is that okay?”

“If it is your will, master, then I have no complaints.” Aishia bowed her head reverently.

Well, with pirates attacking indiscriminately and trying to capture a young, innocent, beautiful elf girl (and boy), anyone would be on the elves’ side, even me. Even if it turned out that these elves had been smuggling illegal goods, I’d still be on their side! Karina was a friend to all beauties! And knowing the Goddess, she’d surely forgive me for siding with evildoers, as long as I brought her their socks! Plus, Maririn aside, I wasn’t a fan of Gomez on a personal level, and I was just one person, so that alone was enough of a reason to side with the elf siblings.

With that decided, my next move was simple. “All right, let’s tail Gomez and see if we can find where he’s keeping your sister.” I opened up the peephole I’d placed behind Gomez and the others. The sight before me was that of a warehouse in flames, and Gomez’s dark silhouette smirking as he watched the warehouse burn.

Huh? What the hell happened here?!

#Side: Pirate Gomez

“So what, doc? Are you saying that girl’s one of a god’s disciples? That all our cargo was simply spirited away?!” Hearing the doctor’s preposterous suggestion, I flared up in anger, even reflexively stamping my foot down. “Bullshit! Like hell that girl’s a disciple! After all, Captain Maririn’s the only god I know! She’s the goddess of the sea, after all!”

“B-But Gomez, if we look at the situation from a logical perspective—”

“It’s all a scam! A hoax! That girl must’ve used some trick! Shit... I’ll search high and low to find her, and then she’ll pay for this with her life!”

Dammit! I’ll absolutely make her regret this! Not only did she make a fool of me, she stole the cargo that we Marinebell Pirates worked so hard to get! I’ll break that girl’s mind and body, then feed her to the fishes!

“Gomez, think about it. Our golem spent several hours unloading all that cargo, so what kind of trick could possibly cause it all to vanish in an instant?”

That’s what I want to know, doc! But I knew she did something—that much was obvious. “I-I don’t know yet, but I’ll get that girl to tell me that too, once I capture her!”

“And how do you plan to do that? She defeated all of your men with ease, remember?”

“Guh!” He was right. I’d thought she would be as good as captured once we lured her onto our turf. I’d assumed that the moment she set foot in this warehouse, we could frame her for attempted burglary and make her our slave. And yet, not only did she slip through our fingers, she wiped out all my men and stole our cargo!

I recalled we’d already had buyers lined up for some of those items. And now they were all gone without a trace. This incident would destroy the trust the Marinebell Pirates had built up with those clients thus far, and it would be a severe blow to us as a trading company. I ground my teeth in frustration.

“B-Boss...”

“Wh-What should we do, boss? We can’t go up against a god, can we?!”

“Sh-Shut up, idiots! Don’t panic! Ahhh, dammit! This has got to be a bad dream... If I go to sleep now, will everything be back to normal when I wake up?” You’re all pirates, so don’t let one little girl scare you, you idiots! Shit... What am I supposed to do now, though? I can’t let the captain find out about this!

“Well... In any case, I’m heading back,” said the doctor. “I’ve got to pack my bags and flee while I still can.”

“Huh?! You’re runnin’ away, doc?! But you’re still under contract with us!”

“Then I’ll pay the penalty for breaching it. Think of it as a consolation. It might offset a little of your losses, at least,” he said, and he headed for the warehouse exit.

I ran around him to block his path. “Sorry, I can’t let you. You’re planning to tell Captain Maririn about all this, aren’t you?”

“Of course I am. I owe it to her to be honest, considering all she’s done for me.”

This ain’t good. Because his position was so critical within our crew, he was a Marinebell officer, just like me. His testimony alone would be enough to ruin me.

I had to find some way to keep Maririn from learning about the cargo missing from the warehouse and to prevent the doc from blabbing. Then I hit upon a genius idea.

The doc tried to go around me to leave the warehouse, so I hurried to stop him. “Wait, wait! I just thought of a way we can salvage all this!”

“Salvage? When the situation’s this dire?” He looked skeptical.

I amicably put my hands on his shoulders. “Yeah. With my idea, we can make it as though none of this ever happened!”

“You don’t say? I doubt such a method exists, but I suppose I’ll hear you ou—”

Then I snapped his neck. That took care of the tattletale doctor. Now I wouldn’t have to worry about him anymore.

“B-Boss?! Why’d you kill him?!”

“Huh? O-Oh, he was actually a bad guy trying to swindle us all. You know that water he’s been giving us? He drugged it, and it’s making us see things. That girl just now? She wasn’t actually real. Just a hallucination.”

I was his boss, so he’d have to swallow whatever I said. I kicked the doctor’s corpse, rolling him across the floor. Hey, what’s that face for? You’re a pirate—you ought to be used to seeing dead bodies in this line of work by now.

Now then, it was time to carry out the rest of my genius plan. “And the doctor also forgot to put out his cigarette before tossing it, foolishly burning the warehouse to the ground,” I announced.

“Huh?” The same grunt looked puzzled.

“In other words, everything that happened here was his fault. That’s all.”

He still looked utterly confused, so I gently patted him on the shoulder. “That’s the story. Get it?” Or would you rather end up like the poor doctor here? I made sure to put a hint of intimidation in my voice as I kicked the doctor’s corpse again, just so he got the message.

The moron nodded his head. Good, looks like he understands.

Afterward, I had my men bring fodder, straw, and scrapped wood to the warehouse, then set the building ablaze along with the doctor’s corpse. In no time at all, the warehouse was engulfed in a sea of flame.

“Oh no, what a tragedy! Thanks to the doctor carelessly failing to put out his cigarette, our warehouse accidentally got burned to the ground! He’s got some nerve to call himself a doctor if he’s that negligent, huh?!” With this, the incident would be perfectly swept under the rug. “Wait, then what happened to all the cargo inside? Huh?! It all burned to ash?! Well, it was mostly clothes and fabric, after all, and those burn easily, so that makes perfect sense! They wouldn’t even leave a trace behind!”

If the cargo all burned up in a tragic accident, there’d be no way we could deliver the boxes to our clients. And it’d all be that moron doctor’s fault! Well, I still might be held slightly responsible, since I was tasked with protecting the warehouse. Then I’d say he set the fire deliberately because he was jealous of me. That way it wouldn’t be my fault at all.

“Listen up! All of this was that bastard doctor’s doing! He planned it from the beginning! He deliberately neglected to stamp out his cigarette!” And as for the doctor’s body, it’d burn to a crisp, and his irritating face would no longer be recognizable.

“R-Right, boss!”

“Yeah, it was all his fault! He was the bad guy here!”

“Y-Yeah! Makes perfect sense!”

“Oh, good answers, you guys!” I said with a grin. “Sounds like you get it after all! Bwa ha ha!” Looked like my subordinates were all in agreement with me—in no way was this my fault. Surely Captain Maririn would see it the same way!

By the way, because we were so quick to report the incident, fortunately the flames didn’t spread, and the other warehouses around ours were only lightly singed.

#Side: END

The burning warehouse got extinguished, and the neighboring warehouses got away with only minor burns, apparently. Because they were so close to the sea, they had plenty of water to put out the fire. The warehouse itself, however, was incinerated entirely, leaving behind only the stone foundation.

More importantly, I never would have thought he’d go that far! Not only did he kill his crew’s doctor, he burned the warehouse to get rid of the evidence and clear himself of blame! Based on what he’d said, it sounded like he planned to blame the doctor for it all, claiming the guy threw his cigarette on the ground without putting it out.

No, dude, any way you look at it, you’re at fault. Or, er, maybe it was my fault too—I did steal their cargo, after all, so I’m at least a teensy bit responsible...

Still, I’d just witnessed something incredibly unsettling. The more I learned about these guys, the less certain I was that Dia’s older sister was actually safe. If they were willing to kill one of their own to cover up evidence, they probably wouldn’t hesitate to kill that elf girl on a whim either. In other words, I had to rescue her ASAP—assuming they hadn’t killed her already, that was. I’d inspected the warehouse while it was burning, and as far as I could tell, there were no survivors there, at least.

“Thanks a lot, guys,” Gomez was saying. “If it wasn’t for you all, the fire might have spread to the other warehouses here.”

“Arson, you said? That’s pretty unfortunate, eh, Mr. Gomez?”

“No kidding. That’s gonna set your company back quite a bit, isn’t it?”

“Oh, I’m sure it was just someone envious of our company’s success,” Gomez said. “Come to think of it, I did spot a suspicious woman entering just before the fire happened.”

“Since it wasn’t our fault, at least the lord here will probably compensate us for the damages, so that’s a relief.” He sighed dramatically. “But Captain Maririn will probably scold me still, so I’m not looking forward to that.”

Gomez was shamelessly lying to the owners of the neighboring warehouses. He’s seriously trying to profit off a mess that he himself caused. And wait, by “suspicious woman,” he surely wasn’t referring to me, right? Unbelievable.

“Well, I’m sure we’re going to have our hands full for a while, so I gotta go,” Gomez said, then he rounded up his subordinates and headed toward the harbor. “Now then... Guess I gotta report to the captain... Man, this part’s gonna suck.”

Apparently their base was a docked ship. Was that where they were keeping Dia’s sister? If so, that would save me the trouble of looking for her. She was an elf, and her virginity aside, I still doubted very seriously that they would take her life. If it were me, I’d at least want to keep her around a week or so to have some fun with her first, so they’d want to do the same. I think. Probably.

Gomez and his men entered a sailing vessel that looked exactly like what you’d expect a pirate ship to look like, right down to the skull and crossbones on the black flag. No doubt the sails would also have the same mark once unfurled.

All right, time to tail them. I explained the plan to Dia and Aishia. “Gomez and his men are on the pirate ship. Now that I’ve located their base, I’m gonna search around the ship for your sister.”

“Huh? You can tell they got on the ship from here?”

“Well, with magic, anything’s possible. Now let’s see if your sister’s on board. If she is, this’ll be real easy. You two hold down the fort while I’m gone.”

“I’m counting on you to save my sister, Big Sis Karina!”

“I wish you good tidings of war, master!”

“No problem. Leave it to me!” I leaped out of my base and into the outside world. Now let’s search this ship so I can save Dia’s sister and get her socks!

I followed behind Gomez and the others, camouflaging myself from sight. It was the first time I’d seen such a large ship in person, so it was pretty exciting to look around inside. Since I was already here, I also wanted to check whether Maririn really did have a sacred treasure.

Wait, did I really have to leave my space for this, though? Well, whatever. If I were to go back now, I had the feeling Dia and Aishia would look at me with half-lidded eyes, so I decided to just go with it. I’d just stick myself to the ceiling ninja-style or something.

While doing exactly that, I followed Gomez and his men to what I guessed was the captain’s quarters. There were two pirates standing in front of the door, as though to guard the entrance. Gomez shouted to them both that he had some extremely important business with the captain. Before the guards outside could even reply, however, a voice responded from beyond the door.

“Extremely important business, you say? Come on in.”

“Captain Maririn, I have some terrible news!” Gomez said as he burst into the room. “Our warehouse burned to the ground, and we lost all the cargo inside! The ship’s doctor was the culprit!”

“Excuse me?!” Maririn shouted, bolting upright from her hammock. She must have been taking a nap, because her pirate’s coat was off and she was wearing a snug nightie and tight stockings. It was a pretty hot getup, but I couldn’t get distracted. I continued observing the scene.

“I believe I put you in charge of that warehouse, Gomez, did I not?! Tell me what happened, and it’d better be good!”

“W-Well, about that, captain. That bastard doctor apparently snuck into the warehouse to have a smoke. Searching through the burnt remains, we spotted a cigarette butt and his charred body.”

“That fool! He still hadn’t quit smoking?!” Maririn cried.

Right. Fire was a ship’s natural enemy, since there was nowhere to run if a fire broke out at sea. It sounded like Maririn had previously warned the doctor to quit, and Gomez, knowing that, had used it to make his story sound more believable.

“He must have gone to the warehouse to smoke because he knew we’d tell on him if he did it at the harbor. Never would have guessed the idiot would’ve caused this, though...”

Gomez lied as easily as he breathed, lining up one whopper after another. He must have been thinking about what he was going to say on the way here, because his story now was more logical than what he’d shouted to his men earlier.

Maririn clicked her tongue. “Damn, this isn’t good. If the blame was on one of our men, we might not get as much compensation money.”

“No need to worry about that, Captain! I already covered it all up!”

“Oh, you don’t say? Well done, Gomez!”

Gomez laid it on so thick that Maririn seemed to have bought it. Yikes. Don’t you have any shame, dude?

“Still, the cargo burned up along with the warehouse,” she said. “That’ll chalk up to a serious loss.”

“I’ve thought of that too. How about we use the money in the doctor’s account to offset some of that loss?”

“Surprisingly clever coming from you, Gomez. But wouldn’t we be admitting he was the cause of the fire?”

“Don’t worry, Captain! We’ll just invent another excuse! The doctor’s not here to call us out on it, after all... Oh, I know! Let’s say he tried to make off with some of the cargo! Then we’d be justified in taking his money!”

Oh, he must have nicked some of that cargo, and now he was pinning that crime on the deceased doctor as well. At least, that was the feeling I got.

“Will that really work, though?” Maririn scowled, then sighed. “Ahhh, I’m getting a headache just thinking about it. But you know, Gomez, regardless of what happened, the warehouse was still your responsibility. Don’t think I’m just going to let you off the hook.”

“I’m well aware, Captain. I’m prepared for whatever punishment you give me.” His reply was admirable and his expression calm. He certainly looked like he’d accepted that he’d be punished, but he was really probably just relieved that she bought his story.

“In that case, no salary for you for a while. Got it?”

“Y-Yeah.” He looked dissatisfied by that. No, considering you burned the warehouse yourself, you deserve at least that much for sure.

“Anyway, this puts us in a pickle regardless,” she said. “I’d planned to sell the portion of cargo that didn’t already have a buyer to the town’s lord, and I’ve already received his payment for those. If we don’t complete that transaction, he might lose his trust in us. And if the territory lord breaks it off with us, we’ll be like fish flopping on dry land in no time. We’ve got to come up with a plan, and quick. All right, Gomez, I’ve decided! Gather everyone together! In exactly one hour, we set off!”

“Yes, Captain! I’ll deliver the message right away!” He headed outside the ship to tell the rest of his men the news. Then, once he was gone, I switched my observation target from Gomez to Maririn. I put a mark on Gomez before he left, just in case, but I needed to get those socks from Maririn. It definitely wasn’t because I’d rather look at a pretty lady than a gross man, honest. Just so I could keep tabs on what he was up to, though, I placed the image of Gomez’s activities at the corner of my vision. Man, spatial magic sure was convenient!

And so, the pirates were apparently setting out in search of prey to cover their losses. I wasn’t exactly an expert on pirates, but was it really possible to prepare for a voyage that quickly? Though I supposed they might have already had everything ready to go, and they’d just been taking a quick rest at the port before heading out again.

Once Gomez had left the room, Maririn ran a hand through her hair to fix it up, donned her pirate hat and coat, and had the two guards in front of her room accompany her as she walked across the inside of the ship. She seemed to be heading to the vessel’s center.

She stopped at a door that was decorated more lavishly than any of the others. Just at a glance, the room was obviously important.

“O mighty Poseidon, deity of the sea!” Maririn shouted as she entered. “Show me the coordinates of the miscreants who sail on your waters!” The room’s interior was decorated like an altar, and a clear blue crystal ball sat in its center. Responding to her voice, the crystal ball lit up, and numerous twinkles of gold, silver, bronze, and white light appeared on its surface like stars shortly afterward, all flickering with varying degrees of speed and intensity. I could also see undulating lines between the stars, connecting them. To me, the sight was familiar—it looked a lot like an overhead view of a coastal railway.

“Let’s see... That one’s silver, that one’s silver, this one’s gold... Ooh, a white one! There’s our prey! Wait, no, it’s small, so it’s probably just a fishing boat. Let’s keep looking... Oh, there’s a big one, and it’s bronze! It’s nearby, and its time is nearly up. It’ll go white in another two or three days—perfect! We’ll adjust the timing of our return to port, and no one will find out! I’ve decided—we’ll target this one!”

So basically, this thing was like some kind of ship’s radar. And not just any radar—based on what she said, it sounded like it could also show her the ships that were permitted to sail, the period that they were allowed to sail in, and their sizes. That meant this part here with all the stars clustered around it—ships, in other words—must have been Verald’s port.

I see... With a navigation system like this, Maririn and her crew would never end up stranded on the water. This must be the secret to their success. With this Poseidon or whatever as their GPS, they could beat any other ship to the punch.

Huh? Wait a minute... Could this be a sacred treasure? It’s abnormally advanced for a world like this, so it’s highly likely. Seriously? I came here to look for an elf girl to rescue, and I ended up stumbling upon a sacred treasure in the process? What providence!

“O mighty god of the sea! We will hunt down these blasphemous libertines in your name! We will need one hour to prepare, but when the time comes, please guide us to our enemies!”

At Maririn’s request, the crystal ball glowed, and a timer appeared, counting down from sixty minutes. It looked no different from a digital timer, with the numbers and everything. Maririn produced a gold pocket watch from her cleavage and checked the current time.

Wow, now that was convenient. What was this crystal, some kind of smart device? So when the timer finished counting down, the ship was going to automatically head to its destination? Yeah, this thing had to be a sacred treasure. But would it really be right for me to just steal it? Hmm... What should I do? I was kind of conflicted here. I wished I could figure out what the copper, white, and gold signified first, but it wasn’t like Maririn was just going to start muttering all that stuff to herself so conveniently...

“What luck, though! At first I wasn’t sure if we’d be able to find any suitable prey nearby, but to think a merchant ship with a nearly expired permit would be sailing so close by! Tee hee, it seems the heavens are smiling down on me today! If we intercept them and keep them from moving until their permit expires, their indicator will turn white. Then we’ll be justified in attacking them, and we can loot their spoils. That’ll be more than enough to offset our damages!”

Whoa, she really did say it. She really conveniently explained everything I needed to know during her soliloquy. Guess that meant I was favored by the heavens too! Yeah, I could almost hear the Goddess now: Oh, my dear Karina, I adore you so—more specifically, I adore the socks you bring me! That sounded like something she’d say.

But wait, that meant Captain Maririn was planning to use this treasure to force innocent merchants into illegal acts and attack them under the guise of “punishment,” all so she could offset the losses of her own company... Nope, Karina was a good girl, and she wouldn’t stand for such misdeeds! Which meant I had a good reason to take the treasure away from her! All right, now I felt better about it!

And so, I started thinking about how I was going to take the crystal ball, Poseidon. Obviously Maririn was in the wrong here, so I wanted to do it in a manner that made her see the error of her ways. But the skydiving-without-a-parachute method I’d used before was old hat now. Operation Namahage had been incredibly effective, but I wanted to vary it up. So I decided that this time, Operation Goutou (outright thievery) was more appropriate. I also wanted to nab those stockings of hers while I was at it... Though since she’d already promised them to me, I’d just be taking what I was owed, wouldn’t I?

At any rate, with my course of action decided upon, it was time to start planning... Oh? Looks like there’s some movement over on Gomez’s side. Apparently, the Marinebell Pirates had another base of operations within the city—a two-story stone building which seemed to serve as the Marinebell Trading Company’s offices. It was tucked away in a back alley, and even from the outside it gave the impression that shady business was likely going on inside.

“All right you lazy bums, break time’s over!” Gomez shouted as he burst in. “Captain’s orders—we’re setting sail in thirty! Move your asses!”

The office immediately flew into an uproar like a poked beehive. “Huh?!” one pirate said, shocked. “A-Aye aye, sir! C’mon, guys, the captain’s orders take priority over everything else! We need to hurry!”

“You guys already loaded the necessities on board, right?!” Gomez barked. “Then grab as many luxury items as you can carry!”

“W-Wait, what about the girls?! I just called for some girls from the brothel!”

“Don’t worry about them! If no one’s here and the door’s locked, they’ll just go back on their own! Just use the amenities on board instead!”

Swarms of pirates came and went in every direction, from the second floor offices to the storerooms in the basement, as they prepared to depart by carrying all sorts of boxes out. Then Gomez brought up the rear as though to chase them all out, making sure no one was left inside before they all made a beeline for the harbor. Naturally, they didn’t forget to lock up the building before leaving.

Man, it did my heart good to see a bunch of lackeys move with such discipline and diligence. Still, against Phantom Thief Karina, locks were utterly pointless! Once the building emptied out, I warped myself into the office. Ew, it stinks like guy in here. The stench of sweat was so intense that it made me want to throw up.

“They should really open a window or something. Anyway, area scan! Grasp! And...collect!”

Shoop! I used my spatial magic to slip the entire building—basement included—into my base in closed space. How was that for a heist? It was so quick that no one would notice, and I didn’t even make a sound while doing it!

When I unlocked the office’s door with spatial magic and walked out, I was on the ground level of my own base. And when I came out of the building that had appeared in the base all of a sudden, Dia greeted me with a flabbergasted look on his face.

“Hey, Dia, I’m back. And look, I brought a souvenir.”

“Wh-Wh... W-Welcome back, Big Sis Karina.” It looked like he’d been about to say something, but thought better of it.

“Welcome back, master. What in the world is this building?” On the other hand, Aishia looked completely calm. Rather, her expression seemed to say, Well, it is master we’re talking about, so I’m hardly shocked by anything she does at this point.

“It’s the office the pirates are operating out of,” I answered. “I figured out that they were up to no good, so I made off with the whole thing.”

“Th-Their whole base, you say?!”

“Yeah. And I’m guessing they probably left some proof of their misdeeds behind in the offices on the second floor or in some drawers or hidden compartments somewhere, so if we find those documents, we can hold them accountable.” I’d noticed Gomez covertly rummaging around in a few places, so I planned to check those, opening whatever locks I came across and making copies of whatever I found inside.

“By the way, master, would Dia’s sister be inside the building as well, by any chance?”

“Unfortunately, no. She wasn’t inside. Oh, by the way, there aren’t any other organisms in there anymore either. I didn’t bring any pests or vermin into this space, so don’t worry.” Most likely, when I’d removed the office building from the world—basement included—the mice and insects inside at the time had all fallen into the big pit where the basement had once been. Once I replaced the building, the creatures’ corpses would never be found.

“While we’re at it, we might as well copy anything in here we can use. You two, search the building for anything useful or valuable.”

“Understood, master. Your magic really is convenient, you know. You can cover your tracks with ease, no matter what you do!”

“I’m still having trouble wrapping my head around all this,” Dia said, “but I can at least tell you’re an incredible mage, Big Sis Karina.”

Heh heh... That’s right, praise me more! After all, when beautiful women get praised, their motivation skyrockets!

Oh, oops. I’d forgotten about the girls from the brothel that that one guy called over. It looked like they’d showed up, and they seemed baffled to see the building gone... Hmm, I couldn’t call them here and have them play with me instead, right? Nah, I guess not. Especially since there’s a child present.

At any rate, before Gomez and the others could get back to the ship, I headed there myself to investigate. If the pirates were already the type to hire women for sex, then their earlier comment about the “amenities on board” concerned me. Gomez had told the guy to use these amenities in place of the sex workers, meaning these amenities were also women? If so, it meant they were treating the women like objects, rather than humans. And that would mean they were most likely slaves.

“A sibling of Dia’s is bound to be a beauty, so if they’ve already enslaved her, I could certainly see them using her as an ‘amenity.’” In that case, she might have already been in a state that a child like Dia absolutely should not see. And while I could heal her if she was still alive, I still couldn’t heal her mental state. Er... Or could I? No, surely my spatial magic wasn’t that powerful. The Goddess probably could, though... Yeah, knowing her, I was sure she’d rewind or rewrite someone’s memory with no hesitation if it was in her best interests. Guess if it came down to that, I’d have no choice but to leave it in God’s hands (literally).

And so, I warped myself back to my position behind Maririn. Of course, I made sure to conceal myself—and it wasn’t like the pirates on the ship, running around like chickens with their heads cut off, would be so keen as to notice anything even slightly out of the ordinary anyway.

“Spatial magic, deploy!” I scanned the ship with my magic. Oh—would you look at that! The Poseidon crystal ball was in the center of the ship, and on the side opposite the captain’s quarters, I spotted a storeroom-like area divided into sections—exactly the type of room that might contain what I was looking for. After confirming the coordinates, I immediately teleported myself there.

Inside the storeroom were three women chained to the wall, all wearing rags. Luckily, the crew were all preoccupied with preparing for departure, so none of the women were being “used” at present, but there were signs that they’d been used very recently. Whoa, lewd... Though that wasn’t what I should have been thinking at the time, huh? I mean, the way the light in their eyes had gone out screamed depravity and foul play. Speaking of foul, the room smelled terrible. Honestly, couldn’t you pirates clean up a little in here? I even used a few of my scavenger slimes to try and tidy the room up, but it was so filthy that it hardly made a difference.

“Hmm... Am I too late already?” I muttered, putting away my slimes. “Hey, any of you girls still conscious? I’m here to rescue you!”

One woman perked up at my voice. “H-Huh? Res...cue?”

“Is there an elf girl among you? Or if not, do you know where she might be?” I looked around, but none of them had silver hair or elf ears. Two were human, and one was a beast girl. Hmm... It didn’t look like she was in this room, at least.

“Wh-Who...are you?” the girl asked.

“Hey, do any of you three know anything about an elf on board? Oh, before that, you guys hungry? Want some sautéed scallops?”

As I approached them, butter-sautéed scallops in hand, the women weakly raised their arms to accept the offering. Then, tears streaming down their faces, they ate, including the two who hadn’t showed any sort of reaction to my voice before. Well, if they had enough energy to eat scallops, they’d probably be fine.

“Thank you so much... For the first time in forever, I feel like a human again.”

“Glad to hear it. Now, can you tell me anything about the elf?”

“W-Well, I’m not sure if it’s who you’re looking for, but I did hear from one of them that they captured an elf several days ago. But they also said they were going to sell her off back then, so there’s a good chance they already did it.”

“But elves are beautiful, right? They wouldn’t want to keep her here for themselves?”

“Not if her selling price was extraordinarily high.”

Oh, right... I guess an untouched, pure elf would sell for more if she remained untouched and pure. If they were going to sell her, they’d want to get as much money as they could out of her. So they wouldn’t have done anything to her.

“And if they couldn’t use her, they probably sold her off as quickly as they could,” the woman continued. “The longer they kept her here, the more tempted they would have been.”

Made sense. “Any idea where they would have sold her to, then? Wait, if they sold her into slavery, would she be at the slave trader’s in Verald?”

“Not necessarily. The ship’s doctor here is an underground slave trader himself, so they probably didn’t do it legally.” She hesitated for a moment. “After all, when they made us slaves, they made sure we couldn’t fight back...or even commit suicide.”

The ship’s doctor? The guy Gomez killed and set on fire, you mean? “In that case, I guess she’s not on the ship after all,” I said with a sigh. “Well, since I’m already here, I’ll rescue you three instead. But not for free—I’ll have you all do me a favor later in exchange.”

“Th-Thank you, truly. We appreciate your feelings...but it’s a lost cause. We’d just be a burden to you.”

“Hmm?” I said. The woman sounded like she’d already resigned herself to her fate, which I thought was strange. Then I finally looked down at their feet—or rather, where their feet should have been. They were just stumps, severed at the ankles. I could see the cauterized wounds through the messily wrapped bandages covering them.

“As you can see.” Noticing where my gaze was directed, the woman sadly finished her sentence.

“Oh... So they cut off your feet to stop you from fleeing.”

“Yes. Even though the slave contract already binds us here.”

If they cut off the women’s feet, they couldn’t run away. And in their weakened state, it’d be easier to keep them confined in the room. It was simple, primitive logic. Just lopping off these girls’ limbs at the drop of a hat, huh? This world really is completely different from my old one.

But wait, couldn’t certain recovery magic or medicine restore lost limbs? After healing Aishia I’d been curious and looked it up in the Tome of General Knowledge, and I’d read that there was a certain type of magic—holy magic—that could restore one’s limbs. That said, given that it was called “holy” magic, it gave me the sneaking suspicion that the Goddess had created this magic specifically to preserve the legs and feet of this world’s subjects so she could keep enjoying their socks. Just imagining it made me shake my head in exasperation.

Huh? Wait, that’s right—if these women don’t have feet, they can’t wear socks! “I see, this truly is a despicable, heretical act. The Goddess will be furious.”

“Oh? Lamenting our situation for our sakes?” She chuckled. “Well, I appreciate the gesture. That’s awfully kind of you.”

Damn... Why’d the pirates have to cut off both feet?! Wouldn’t just one have been enough?! Now I had no other choice—I’d have to do the opposite of what I did with Aishia and copy their hands to make them new feet. Ugh, what a chore.

“But don’t worry about us. Even if we made it out of here, we’d be completely useless with no feet. In fact, if you could find it in your heart to put us out of our misery, we’d be thrilled. It’d be satisfying enough to know that at the very end, someone actually treated us like human beings.”

I let out another heavy sigh. “All right, all right, I get it. I’ll fix your feet, so just hang tight.” As I spoke, I activated my spatial magic. Surgical treatment could get pretty gory, so I used some sheets to cover their feet while I was at it. The procedure wasn’t so simple that I could do it in a jiffy, but I’d already done it to Aishia, so I at least had some experience under my belt. First, I made copies of their right hands. Then I molded them into the shape of feet, adding or removing cells as necessary. Once I’d sculpted their right feet, I made copies and flipped them to make left foot versions. Finally, I just pasted them over the ankle stumps and made some final adjustments to smooth everything out. One, two, three...and presto! When I removed the sheets, the feet they should have lost were restored! Wow, amazing! I can hear the applause in my head now! I’m like a magician, except rather than cutting these women in half, I’ve healed them!

“There! I’m pretty satisfied with that, if I do say so myself. What do you three think? Can you move all right?”

“Wh-What?! Huh?! W-We have feet again?!” They looked shocked, but seeing how they could wiggle their toes with no problem, it seemed like the operation was a success.

Still, this would have been a lot easier if I could just use recovery magic. Their feet probably would have just magically reappeared in a shower of white light and sparkles, and there wouldn’t have been any gore. As almighty as spatial magic was, for things outside of its wheelhouse, I had to be a little more creative.

Whoa, there it was—the dizzy spell. As I thought, creating three pairs of feet at the same time had used up an excess amount of mana. Deep breaths, deep breaths—ugh, God, the air in here stinks! I’m gonna throw up!

“A-Are you all right?!” the woman cried.

“Ugh... Yeah, I’m good, I’m good. But now that I’ve healed you, it’s time for my favor. I want you to wear these socks— Oh, no.”

At that moment, I suddenly realized my blunder. Just now, I’d made copies of their feet. Using my spatial magic. And if copying the sock material with spatial magic was already forbidden, wouldn’t that mean that copying the feet themselves would also...make the Goddess lose interest?!

“Dammit! I screwed up!” I buried my face in my hands. I’d thought I could use them to farm worn socks for a while by exploiting their debt to me, but now I wouldn’t even be able to deliver those socks to the Goddess! Curses...if I’d just been able to use recovery magic instead, it would have been fine!

“Wh-What’s that face for? Did you use something to heal us that you shouldn’t have?”

“Er, no, nothing like that. I think I’m probably just gonna get yelled at, is all... No, forget I said anything.”

Then my eyes fell on the bandages lying on the ground—the bandages that had been wrapped around their ankle stumps, covered in blood and pus and who knew what else.

“Hey, you don’t need these bandages anymore, right? Then I’ll just take these for payment, and we’ll call it even.” They were wrapped around their stumps, so would they technically count as socks? Anyway, I collected them, just in case.

“Er... Just who are you, anyway?” the woman asked.

“Oh, you don’t need to know that. Don’t worry about it. Now then, can I get the three of you to close your eyes for me?”

They did as I said and shut their eyes. I didn’t want them to get back into another dire situation once I’d left, so I decided to protect them by putting them in my closed space, in a separate section from Dia and Aishia. Shoop, shoop, shoop. There. See you later, girls. The next time you open your eyes, you’ll find yourselves in a safe place.

Now then... I’d learned what I’d needed to learn. Dia’s sister had apparently already been sold off. That meant she wasn’t even on this ship, and if she’d been sold through underground, illegal channels, I had no way of knowing where she’d ended up. I needed more information.

“Rather than Gomez, though, perhaps I should target Maririn for that info instead?” As I was deep in thought, however, I heard footsteps approaching the room, so I made my exit with a split-second decision to escape to the captain’s quarters. Maririn was there, sitting behind her desk. It looked like the type of desk to be permanently fixed to the floor. One pirate lackey after another came into the room, giving her various reports and status updates like “The paperwork for departure is all filled out, Captain!” “Captain, we’ve loaded the golem on board!” “Supplies and provisions are all set!” and “We’ve tied the sail to the mast!” Maririn offered brief responses of affirmation to each of them.

Then Gomez came back in with his own report. “Captain, I’ve rounded everyone up! We’re all on board and ready to sail!”

“Excellent. Then it looks like we’re all ready...and perfect timing too.” She pulled out her gold pocket watch again and checked the time. Indeed, it was the exact departure time she’d declared to the crystal ball. She rose from her chair and left the room with Gomez. I followed behind them, making sure to stay invisible. I guess I should probably invest in some stealth-based skills at this point, huh? I thought idly.

We came out onto the ship’s deck. The door leading to the captain’s quarters was located at the upper deck’s highest point. The other pirates, meanwhile, were all gathered below on the central deck.

“Well, my darlings? Are we all ready to set sail?” Maririn cooed bewitchingly.

“Aye aye, ma’am! We’re ready and rarin’ to go!” they yelled back in unison.

“Very good. Now, some of you might be wondering the reason for our sudden departure. Our warehouse at the harbor burned down, and tragically, we lost all the cargo inside. If we don’t make up for that loss quickly, we’ll be in deep trouble. That’s all you need to know.”

As the pirates began to whisper among themselves, Gomez supplemented her explanation. “Regrettably, it was unintentional. And the culprit was none other than the doctor on this ship. He was smoking and neglected to put out his cigarette. Unfortunately, he burned to death along with the warehouse, but now it’s our duty as Marinebell Pirates to clean up his mess! Understand? For the captain’s sake, we’re cutting our break time short! Anyone who doesn’t pull their weight for the captain can’t be called a pirate of Marinebell!”

“You’re kidding! It was the doc’s fault?!”

“That idiot, we kept warning him to stop smoking!”

“Of course we’ll do our best for Captain Maririn!”

Gomez’s words resonated with the pirates, causing a commotion. The pirates who’d set fire to the warehouse with Gomez similarly disparaged the doctor along with the others but looked down at the floor as they spoke.

“It’s all yours, Captain,” Gomez said, turning the floor over to Maririn.

“Perfect timing too,” she said. “Marinebell Pirates... It’s time to set sail!”

“Aye aye, Captain!”

The moment she gave the order to set out, a sail with a skull and crossbones logo immediately billowed out from the mast with a snap, and the ship began to move without delay. Before long, the harbor was far behind us.

“Whew... You know, I think this every time we sail, but we sure leave port awfully smoothly for a bunch of pirates, huh?” one pirate remarked.

“Yeah,” agreed another. “That’d be out of the question for any other pirate crew. It’s all thanks to Poseidon’s blessing.”

“Oh yeah? How do normal pirate ships do it?”

“Well, I guess they’d have to be more hands-on and use wind magic on the sails— Wait, whose voice was that just now?”

Oops. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to try to subtly join the conversation when I was still invisible. But I see now—Poseidon moves the ship on its own, huh?

“We’ll reach our target in three hours,” Maririn declared. “In the meantime, you know the drill—prepare to attack!”

“Aye aye, ma’am!” The Marinebell Pirates all got to work on their designated tasks. Now then... What should I do? I wanted to ask Maririn about Dia’s sister, but how would I get her to talk? Kidnap her? I was about to use my magic to do just that, when one of her lackeys came rushing up.

“C-Captain, we’ve got an emergency! Our amenities are missing!”

Whoops. They discovered that the girls I’d rescued (pilfered) are gone, huh? I supposed one of them had headed to the room immediately after setting sail, only to find them absent.

“Y-You idiot! Don’t talk about that in front of Captain Maririn!” Gomez hissed.

“Hmm? Amenities? Did we forget to bring something on board?” Maririn asked, looking puzzled.

“O-Oh, no, don’t worry, I’ll take care of it, Captain, everything’s fine,” Gomez said, nodding vigorously. Then, when Maririn wasn’t looking, Gomez slugged the pirate who’d come to report hard in the face. Er... By any chance, did Maririn not know the girls were on board?

I see! Then that gave me an idea! I copied the shabby rags the girls had been wearing and quickly put them on. And then...

“Aaah! Someone save me!” I pretended to trip and fall on the ground right behind Gomez, making sure Maririn would see my terrified expression.

“Huh?! You again!” she cried. “Where’d you come from?! How’d you get on board?!”

“Isn’t it obvious?! You guys brought me on board! You were planning on doing lewd things with me, like in a steamy romance novel!”

Of course, I was deliberately raising my voice to make a scene, but I wasn’t saying anything untrue. Gomez and his flunkies had indeed guided me to their ship (even if it hadn’t been their intent), and they’d even tried to beat the hell out of me and capture me at the warehouse.

“Huh?! W-Wait, that’s not...!” Maririn immediately panicked, looking at Gomez and then back at me. Then the look in her eyes froze over. “Gomez... Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t this the girl who outdrank you back at the guild? Care to explain why she’s here right now?”

“N-No, it wasn’t me, Captain, honest! I don’t know how she got here!”

“Excuse me?!” I shouted. “So you’re saying I arbitrarily boarded a pirate ship just because I felt like it?! You know what happened! Your subordinates ganged up on me, and you just watched it all happen with that stupid grin on your face... You rapist! Enemy of all women!”

“H-Hey! Don’t listen to her, Captain, it’s all lies! Everything was her fault! The warehouse too!”

“Warehouse? How is the warehouse related to this?” Maririn asked with a glare.

Ha ha, you slipped up, Gomez! Gotcha!

“Oh, er, well... Th-This girl, she was with the doctor in the warehouse at the time, and y’see...”

“Gomez killed the doctor, then set fire to the body and the warehouse to hide the evidence!”

“What’d you say, you bitch?! It was all your fault from the start! You’re the one who stole the cargo!”

Oh? What was that? Didn’t you say earlier that the cargo all burned up in the fire? Heh heh heh, you just can’t keep your story straight at all, can you?

“And on top of that, to think that the esteemed Marinebell Pirates actually abduct women and make them their slaves... I managed to rescue the three women who were chained down in the men’s room, but I couldn’t make it off the ship in time myself! Now we’re at sea, and these predatory men are gonna make a meal out of me instead!”

“Sh-Shut the hell uuup!” Gomez threw a punch in my direction, but I dodged it with no problem.

“They were held captive in the men’s room directly opposite from the captain’s quarters, hidden away to use as outlets for their perverted desires! They weren’t even treated as humans—the men called them ‘amenities’! They were dressed in the rags I’m wearing now, but I got them off the ship before it could set sail! That’s what the crewman was talking about when he said the amenities were gone just now!” I pointed to the guy Gomez had just punched, and the man’s face went pale.

“Gomez?” Maririn said warily. “Just what is going on here?” I could see that her temples were starting to bulge with rage regarding this new information.

“N-No, Captain, I have no idea what she’s talking about! She must be lying—”

“ENOUGH BULLSHIT!” she bellowed, and she sent Gomez and the other pirate flying with a kick. The two slammed into the wall of the deck and crumpled to the ground. A magical barrier like a defensive wall activated upon impact, ensuring the ship itself remained unharmed.

“Now then... Why did you bring other women besides me on board this ship?! Huh?!”

Oh...that’s the part she’s angry about?

“If you’re on my crew, you are to revere me as a goddess! The one and only! No one else! Have I not already made that clear?!”

“I-I didn’t know they were on board!” Gomez whimpered, curled up in the fetal position. “She must have brought them on her own!”

Maririn stomped on him with the heel of her boot. “Oh, so you really want to die, huh?!”

He and the lackey trembled in fear. “B-But Captain,” the lackey stammered, “while you’re pretty and all, you only ever let us look and not—”

Before the poor soul could even finish, Maririn kicked his head with such speed and ferocity that it looked like she knocked it clean off. “Naturally! I’m too good for a bunch of ugly scrubs like you! You’d have to die and get reincarnated as a handsome hunk before I’d even think about letting you touch me!”

The pirate hit the ground with a thud. Nearly all of his face had swelled up. He was also unconscious, so he probably didn’t hear what Maririn had said.

Gomez took the opportunity to kowtow to the captain. “P-Please forgive me, Captain Maririn! The guys just wouldn’t shut up about it, so I begrudgingly turned a blind eye and let them do what they wanted, but I didn’t touch those girls, I promise! You’re the only one for me, Captain!”

You’re clearly lying, dude.

Maririn clicked her tongue scornfully. “Gomez, you and I are going to have a long talk later. And you, brat! How long do you plan to stay on our ship?! Get the hell off already!”

“Hmm?” She was addressing me now, apparently. How did she expect me to get off, anyway? We were already at sea. “Er, could you at least let me ride with you until we get back to the harbor?”

“Hell no! This is my ship! And unless we’re planning on selling them, I won’t allow any other women on board! Off the ship, now!”

“Okay, but before that, could you at least tell me where you sold that elf girl off to?”

“Poseidon! On my authority as this ship’s captain, ban this passenger from boarding!”

In the next instant, an inexplicable, invisible force shoved me off the ship and into the water with a plop. No life jacket, no lifeboat, no nothing. I hit the water headfirst and sank like a rock. Damn... If she’d done that to anyone besides me, she would have killed them! Not to mention the ship was moving so quickly that the average person could swim for a whole day and never catch up.

Anyway, I used my magic to teleport myself back to the ship. I still hadn’t gotten the information on Dia’s sister that I needed, and most of all, I still hadn’t gotten Maririn’s socks!

And so, I resumed my infiltration of the pirate ship—or at least, I tried to, but an invisible wall repelled me backward.

“Huh? What is this, a barrier or something?” I tried thrusting my hand into it, and my hand was repelled back with equal force. No good. I see, she really did ban me from boarding, huh? So that’s what that meant.

“Oh well! Let’s just teleport past it!” But the invisible force once again pushed me back, and with a dull sound too. The heck? I’ve been completely shut out! Now what do I do?!

“Grrr... Well, maybe I can just nick Poseidon from the ship, at least?” I tried to grab the crystal ball from inside the ship and pull it over to me, but there was no response. My magic couldn’t get inside the ship. Don’t tell me it didn’t just block me, but my magic as well?!

“In other words, there’s no more doubt. Poseidon has to be a sacred treasure. A regular magic item wouldn’t be able to block my god-given spatial magic... Guess I have no choice but to just tail the ship, then.”

In the meantime, I’d think about how I was going to get the sacred treasure. And the information on the elf too, of course.

As I followed the ship, I brainstormed my options. I couldn’t board the ship itself, so I stayed in the sky above it. Finally, I spotted another ship on the horizon ahead. This was likely the merchant ship Maririn had mentioned. If memory served, she’d said she planned to stall the ship’s advance for two or three days first. And that gave me an idea: If I couldn’t get on the pirates’ ship, why not just have the pirates come to me?

“Heh heh, sometimes you just need to look at a problem from the opposite angle! I’m a genius!”

And so, in order to put my plan into practice, I decided to attack the merchant ship. More specifically, I would have them evacuate the ship (by force), then assume control of their vessel. Don’t worry, once this was all over I’d bring the ship to a nearby port and give it back to them, so no harm done. Karina’s a good girl—she’s not the type to steal from the innocent!

“Hmm? Who are—”

“Sorry, I’m gonna have to borrow your ship for a little bit. Stay in here for a while.” With a clap of my hands, I popped the crew member into my closed space. Then I did the same for everyone else until I was the only living creature on board. All right, seajacking complete! I’ll return your ship later... Except, what if you guys were doing bad things on this ship too? Just in case, I threw all of the cargo on board into my closed space, so I could check it all later. Couldn’t have any shady or suspicious activity go unpunished, after all!

#Side: Marinebell Pirates

The pirates’ target was in sight. Their ship, propelled by the power of Poseidon, proceeded toward the vessel at a speed unheard of for a mere sailing ship.

Captain Maririn stood on the deck, her coat flapping in the wind. Her pirate lackeys’ faces were unnaturally swollen—Maririn had disciplined them as punishment for bringing the “amenities” on board. Some of them had yet to receive any bruises or welts, but that was only because the imminent attack on the merchant ship took priority right now. Once their plundering was finished, Maririn’s discipline would continue.

“All right, guys, you know the drill by now! Let’s do this!”

“Aye aye, Captain!” Gomez said. “You heard her, scallywags! Time to do what the Marinebell Pirates do best!”

The pirates all shouted back enthusiastically in affirmation. The target was now a stone’s throw away, yet the ship showed no sign of slowing down.

“Brace for impact! Keep steady!” she shouted.

“Keep steady!” the pirates echoed in unison, and they grabbed onto the nearest things they could find for support.

They were about to ram the merchant vessel with their own ship. Normally this would be an act of suicide, but not with Poseidon’s support. Thanks to the god of the sea’s blessing, the ship was nearly impregnable, guaranteeing every voyage they went on would be safe. Even if they hit a reef at full speed, the vessel wouldn’t suffer any damage; in other words, they could ram into another ship and capsize it without needing to worry about their own safety. For the Marinebell Pirates, it was the optimal way to attack their target—the merchants, stranded on a sinking ship, would eventually drown, and of course, the dead couldn’t testify. What’s more, as long as the pirate ship’s bow was piercing into the target ship, the other vessel would also temporarily enjoy Poseidon’s blessing, preventing it from sinking before the Marinebell Pirates could plunder all the loot.

“Here it comes!” In the next instant, the pirate ship’s bow crashed into the side of the merchant vessel—or so they’d anticipated. The familiar impact, which typically sounded like a massive hammer smashing into a bunch of wooden boxes, never came.

“Huh? E-Everyone, climb on board! Don’t kill anyone just yet!”

“Aye, Captain! I’ll set up the scaffolding!” The pirates continued business as usual, but all wore looks of bewilderment. This was different from how things usually turned out. The merchant ship, too, had taken no damage whatsoever—the impact had only pushed it back, requiring the pirates to set up scaffolding to bridge the gap when normally they should have just been able to hop on board.

After laying the bridge down and fixing it in place, they were finally able to board the ship. But the vessel was deserted. The merchants on board should have been running around in chaotic panic, creating a commotion which the pirates could use to their advantage, but it was dead silent. There wasn’t anyone on the deck either.

“The hell? What is this, a ghost ship?” one pirate muttered.

“I thought that too, but aren’t those usually...older?” another replied. “Everything in here is brand spanking new. And the ship’s still so clean. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say people were here just a bit ago, and now they’re all gone.”

Then, when the pirates attempted to enter the ship’s interior, another irregularity presented itself. “H-Hey! The door won’t open!”

“The windows are all sealed tight too! I even tried punching out the glass, and it didn’t budge at all!”

“Huh?! Wh-What the hell’s goin’ on here?!”

There were doors and windows leading into the cabin, but they were all sealed shut. They even tried smashing through the wall of the deck with an axe, but their swings were repelled with a sharp noise.

“Wh-What do we do now?”

“It can’t be... Is this ship also under Poseidon’s protection?!”

“Of course not! If it was, we’d be able to enter! After all, Poseidon’s our—no, Captain Maririn’s ally!”

As the pirates all huddled together on the deck at a loss, however, the sound of a door unlocking rang out. They all turned to look at the door in question. A dark-haired girl was standing there casually, her arm raised in greeting.

“Yo, Marinebell Pirates, what’s up? Welcome to my ship.”

Given the situation, she looked abnormally calm, confusing the pirates even further. Wary, they kept their distance, but they reached for their swords and guns. Their guns were capable of firing special exploding golden bullets produced through alchemy. The girl’s sudden presence was extremely suspicious—even more so since they couldn’t sense anyone else around. And it should have been immediately obvious from their ship’s flag that they were pirates, so why was she not afraid?

“Hey, you know that elf girl you captured the other day? I wanted to ask you, where did you sell her off to?”

“Huh? How’d you know—”

“Like hell we’d tell you. More importantly, it’s time for you to surrender, little girl. We’ve already taken over this ship.” The pirate thrust his gun out in her direction and lined her up in his sights. In truth, they’d only made it as far as the deck, but she didn’t need to know that.

“Oh, I’ve never seen those before,” she said. “What are they?”

“Huh? You ain’t never seen a gun before? What are you, some country bumpkin? Still playing with your little bows and arrows? Well, feast your eyes on the future!” The pirate fired the weapon at the wall with a pop! It was a warning shot. Anyone who didn’t already know the threat a gun posed would immediately realize they’d be in trouble if they resisted.

“As you can see, just by pulling this trigger, I can fill you full of holes. Get it now? Then be a good girl and surrender.”

“Oho, you don’t say. I see, so that’s how it works.” But the girl just kept looking at the weapon as though utterly fascinated. She didn’t look one bit frightened. Wondering if maybe she hadn’t seen the hole the bullet had made, the pirate looked at the wall he’d shot—but confoundingly enough, there was no hole there at all.

“So, just judging by its appearance, that’s a flintlock pistol, right? It’s a single-shot, so you need to reload it every time you fire.”

“Huh? Wait, so you do already know about guns? I really can’t tell with you. Yeah, it’s a single-shot...but just keep in mind that I’m not the only one carrying.” Surrounding the girl in a semicircle, the pirates all drew their weapons and trained them on her.

Captain Maririn had ordered them to refrain from killing anyone. However, guns were convenient weapons in that gunshot wounds weren’t deadly as long as one didn’t lose too much blood and the bullet didn’t hit anything vital. Therefore, there was no reason for the pirates to hold their fire. She might die if the bullets festered too long in her body, of course, but it’d be about the time they’d be on their way back to port anyway, so it hardly mattered.

“All right, enough chitchat. If you don’t want to die, get naked, spread those legs, and beg for your life. Then we might spare you.”

“Oh, and be sure to stick that fine ass of yours out too! Go on, strip!”

The pirates sneered with vulgar grins. Meanwhile, the girl just shook her head and shrugged. “I can see your faces are all swollen. Maririn beat you up for lusting after other women, right? Are you sure you want to make her even more angry?”

“Sh-Shut your mouth! Wait, how did you even know that?”

“Quiet! Just do as we say!”

“Th-This has nothing to do with the captain! Ow... Man, just remembering her punishment makes my face hurt!” Recalling the severity of Captain Maririn’s discipline, the pirates recoiled and winced.

“Well, I couldn’t care less about that anyway. More to the point, do any of you know where that elf girl was sold to? You only need to talk if you actually might know something.”

The pirates exchanged glances with one another. “Do you mean that elf girl the captain confiscated?” one asked. “Why do you wanna know about her?”

“I was asked to find her, is all. Well? Does anyone have an answer?” The girl tilted her head to the side.

“Even if we did know, like hell we’d tell you!”

“Well, that’s a shame to hear. In that case, I’ll just take you all down, one by one, until someone feels like answering.” She immediately grabbed the pirate in front of her by the collar and, with Herculean strength that belied her slender arms, threw him into the door.

“Huh?! Could she be chosen by the gods, like Maririn?!”

“Chosen by the gods? Well, yeah, I guess you could say that, in a way...” the girl said, scratching her cheek in a carefree manner.

“Wait—ain’t that the girl who outdrank Gomez?!”

“What? Whoa, you’re right! It is her! Why’s she on this ship?”

“Oh shi— GAAAH!” One of the pirates immediately tried to flee, but the girl grabbed him and threw him into the door as well. Several pirates witnessed this and immediately cowered.

“D-Demon! She’s a demon! Kill heeer!”

“Coming at me with another one of those mass-produced butter knives, huh? You want a repeat performance, I assume?” For whatever reason, one pirate suddenly went berserk and attacked her with his sword. But the girl raised one finger and stopped the blade in its tracks. The experienced sailor had put all of his strength into the attack, and she’d canceled it out just by touching the sword with her finger. The skin wasn’t even cut.

The pirates trembled with fear. “Ah, aaah! Shoot her, dammit! Shoot her!” Dry popping noises rang out as they fired their pistols at the girl, but she knocked the bullets away with her hand as casually as swatting a mosquito. One bullet even hit her right in the face, and to the pirates’ surprise, she was completely unharmed.

“Those are some low-accuracy peashooters you got there. But since the bullets don’t fly in a straight line, it’s harder to predict their trajectory. Even I flinched a little when that one hit me!” She grinned, looking completely calm. Naturally, the bullet should have wounded her, and yet it had disintegrated upon impact. She was clearly superhuman.

“What the hell is she?!” one pirate cried out. “Just who did we make an enemy of?!”

“H-How am I supposed to know?! Wait, those guys who got thrown into the door—why have none of them come out yet?!”

“Does she have a friend in there or something?! Shit, keep your distance and surround her!” If she did have one, those pirates might already be dead. The remaining pirates leaped back to form a semicircle around the girl once more.

“So, does anyone wanna share any information on the elf? C’mon, spit it out already.” The girl approached the group of pirates as breezily as if she were on a light stroll.

“Whoa!”

“My foot’s...slipping!” The pirates tried to slice her as she passed by, but to no avail. Instead, they crashed to the ground as though their legs were swept out from under them. Then the girl kicked them into the ship’s interior, sending them through the door as though sucked in by a vacuum.

“Dammit! All right, no more playing around! Time to burn, little girl! Flare Cannon!”

“That’s the best you’ve got? Magic Cylinder!”

One pirate released an offensive fire spell to finish her once and for all. She sucked up the spell using her left hand and then sent it back with her right. The spell exploded upon impact, sending another pirate flying. It should have blasted a hole into the ship too, but bizarrely enough, it didn’t hurt the ship one bit.

“Hey now, I’m only borrowing this ship, so be more careful. No more fire magic, please.”

“Y-You monster!”

“Mooommmmyyy!”

Another pirate suddenly appeared, fleeing for his life. No, perhaps he’d fled at the start and had just been running around terrified ever since.

“Out of the way, you cowards! I’ll kill her!”

Finally, Gomez appeared, his eyes bloodshot and bulging. What’s more, he was riding a golem. Locking his gaze on the girl from the open cockpit hatch, he licked his lips.

The girl let out a whistle of admiration. “Wow! Yeah, it really does look just like a mech in an anime! How cool!”

“How dare you lie to the captain about what I did?!” Gomez yelled. “Thanks to you, my reputation’s in the gutter!”

“Uh, no, I only told her what actually happened. Sorry, but you reap what you sow, you doctor-killing warehouse burner.”

“Sh-Shut up! Don’t say another word, dammit!” Gomez made the golem leap up and down. Normally, merely having such a heavy golem walk across the ship’s deck would have made holes in the floor, but even now, the ship remained unharmed as though protected by some mysterious force.

“Do not let her get away!” he cried. “We need her to tell us where she hid our cargo! You can use all the magic you want—if Poseidon’s protecting this ship, it’s not gonna sink anyway!”

“Hey now, Gomez, you’re the one who called me a thief first, right? I just did you a favor and became what you wanted me to be, that’s all.”

“That’s enough outta you!” Gomez reached out with the golem to grab her. The girl slipped through the golem’s fingers easily.

“I mean, that luggage originally belonged to my client anyway. I can’t just give it back to a bunch of thieves, you know.”

“C-Client?! So that’s it, then! You’re an adventurer, and that elf hired you to get her stuff back!”

Occasionally, an adventurer would get hired to recover someone’s stolen possessions, and these were called recovery quests. The pirates usually settled these with money, but this time the owner of the goods in question was an elf, and a woman at that. Captain Maririn had sold her right away, knowing she’d fetch a high price, so Gomez guessed this girl was an adventurer who’d been hired to recover the elf’s cargo in case it got stolen.

“In other words, you were on a job all along,” Gomez muttered. “In that case, we’ll pay double whatever your client’s paying. Join our side instead, and we’ll forget all of this ever happened!”

“Huh? Hell no. I don’t trust you guys enough to think you’ll actually pay up, and a reward from you would be about as worthless as dirt anyway. It’s not even worth negotiating.” Without any hesitation, she mercilessly kicked Gomez’s offer to the curb.

“Heh, I figured you’d say that! You wouldn’t have gone this far for your client in the first place if you weren’t some goody two-shoes...but too bad! That elf you’re looking for is already the territory lord’s pet!”

“Oh?! Excellent, that’s all I needed to hear! Thanks, bud. Now I can go save her after this.” She clapped her hands together with a grin.

“What are you, stupid?! You try to go against the lord, there’s no way you’ll make it out of there in one piece! Plus, we’re gonna kill you before you can even make it there!”

“Oh yeah? Well, whatever. Come at me, then. Do your worst.”

Gomez was confident, because he knew he had the power of Poseidon on his side. In fact, the sea god’s blessing even applied to their ship’s equipment, like the golem he was currently riding.

Gomez closed the cockpit hatch. While inside the golem, he’d be invincible. It’d be harder for him to see since he’d have to squint through its eyeholes, but he was prioritizing his own safety. If he left the hatch open, he’d be leaving himself exposed.

“You bitch... I’ll tear you limb from limb! Your screams will be like music to my ears!”

“Ha... Just try it, if you think you can! But I’m pretty strong—I’ve got the Goddess on my side!”

I’m not sure what kind of magic trick she’s using to make herself stronger, but however good a mage she is, she’s no match for my golem when it’s been blessed by the sea god! Gomez thought, and he charged the golem right at her, raising its metallic fist. But the girl took his punch with a smirk.

“Huh?!” he cried. “No way! You’ve gotta be kidding me!”

“Hup.” With an effortless grunt, the girl picked the golem up and started swinging it around.

“Wh-Whoa!” Gomez cried. “Seriously?! Do you know how heavy this golem is?!”

“Whether or not I know, it’s not gonna change its weight. But nope, I have no idea! Hyah!” The girl tossed the golem back at a group of pirate lackeys.

“Aggghhh!” Gomez screamed.

“Oh shit, it’s gonna crush us!” the pirates yelled. They managed to dodge in the nick of time.

“Urp... Dammit...” Gomez mumbled, feeling like he was about to throw up. “You freak of nature! H-Hey, you guys! Hit her with all the magic you got! Guns too! Unload everything we have, and hold nothing baaack!”

“A-Aye, sir! W-Water Ball!”

“Burst Water!”

“Blind Mist!”

The pirates’ water-based spells rushed toward the girl. Multiple bullets struck her as well. There was no doubt about that, because the pirates all witnessed the bullets hit. And yet she looked completely unharmed. It was as though a divine force was protecting her, similar to how the sea god Poseidon was protecting the Marinebell Pirates’ ship.

“Y-You’re not human! You’re a monster!” Gomez swiped at the girl again with the golem, attempting to grab her. A wide swipe with both hands so she couldn’t escape—

“Yeah, I’ve decided. I’ll take that golem from you as payment for causing me so much trouble.” The girl clapped her hands together, and in the next instant, Gomez’s vision opened up. The golem he’d been inside had vanished. Now exposed, he fell face forward onto the deck under the laws of gravity.

“Buh! Gah!” Like a pebble, he hit the ground and bounced up twice before skidding to a stop at the girl’s feet. He was lying face up, so he could see her white panties, but he was so dumbfounded that it didn’t even register in his mind.

“H-Huh? What happened...? Wait, where’d my golem go?!”

“What happened, you ask? I stole it from you, of course.” She put her hand up to her mouth in an impish grin.

At that moment, Gomez felt true fear for the first time. But luckily for him, his savior arrived soon afterward.

“You bums are all pathetic! You call yourselves my pirates, yet you can’t even handle a single girl?! Guess it’s up to me, then!”

The peerless captain of the Marinebell Pirates, Maririn, had lost her patience and decided to join the fray herself.

#Side: END

My plan to borrow the merchant ship the pirates were targeting, turn the tables and capture them instead, and press them for information on Dia’s sister had mostly gone just as I’d expected, including Gomez showing up once I’d thrown over half of his subordinates into my space of holding. Rather, if there was any surprising element at all, it was how easily Gomez had spilled the beans afterward.

Anyway, after I’d stolen Gomez’s golem, Captain Maririn herself came on board my ship. Her heels clacked on the wood of the deck as she walked right up in front of me.

“’Sup, Captain? We meet again.”

“Let’s skip the pleasantries. You’ve got one too, don’t you?”

“Got one? What do you mean?”

“Don’t play dumb with me. You’ve got an almighty divine artifact, just like me.” She folded her arms under her chest, which lifted her breasts upward slightly.

“Er... An almighty divine artifact, you said? Well, I can’t say I don’t have one.” For a moment I was so focused on the jiggling of her breasts that I nearly missed what she’d said, but she was probably asking if I had a sacred treasure like her. And to be fair, I probably did. Mr. Sneaky and the hypnosis-inducing fake ID were both created by the Goddess, after all, so they likely counted. Although I doubt I’d get any SP if I turned them in, heh.

“How would you like to join the Marinebell Pirates?” Maririn asked. “As of right now, an officer position’s open.”

“Huh? But I thought you told your guys you didn’t want any women on your ship?”

“You’ve proven your worth in battle, at least, so I could look the other way a little for you. Besides, with the combined power of our divine artifacts, we’d be unstoppable. So what do you say?” Maririn looked me right in the eye, arms still folded.

“To be honest, your offer’s pretty tempting. However—”

“‘However?!’ You don’t say—that’s a real shame, then!” Before I could even finish speaking, she swung the sleeve of her black coat, which was long enough to cover her whole hand as well, down onto me. I immediately leaped backward to evade. In the next instant, a heavy thud resounded from the wooden deck. If I didn’t have spatial magic currently protecting the ship, her arm would have surely smashed through the floor. She was probably hiding a bludgeon or something in her sleeve.

“What, not even gonna let me finish?” I said.

“You didn’t agree immediately, so I lost my patience. Did you know? In the Marinebell Pirates, the captain’s word is absolute.”

And waiting for me to answer was your idea of “patience,” huh. I see, I see. “Oh, but before we get into the fighting, I’d like your stockings, please. You promised to give them to me if I won the drinking contest, didn’t you?”

“Let’s see... No, I don’t think I recall.” She shrugged, clearly playing dumb. “Besides, did Gomez lose? I certainly didn’t see that happen,” she added with a smirk.

Well, I guess that settles it. I’ve got no other choice but to take those stockings off her by force!

Apparently seeing the determined look in my eyes, Maririn sighed. “Wait, are you serious? You do know you aren’t in a position to joke around, right? Or are you thinking that we’re evenly matched just because we both have divine artifacts?” She smirked again.

“Wait, what do you mean by that?” I asked.

“The truth is, little girl, while my ship has one divine artifact, I have another one right here.”

“What...did you say?” That would mean... “In other words, I can kill two birds with one stone?!”

“What are you, stupid? It means I’m twice as powerful as you are!” she declared, a smug grin on her lips as she charged forward and reared her sleeve back for a horizontal sweep this time. The impact hit me at full force with a decidedly inorganic clang! Whatever weapon she was using, it had even more mass than the golem.

“Guh...!”

“Here’s something you might find interesting. My ship’s artifact—Poseidon—grants its captain—me—unparalleled power when the sea’s nearby. And as for the other...” With a wriggle, she shook her sleeve back, revealing what was inside. It wasn’t a massive blunt weapon like a bludgeon, as I’d guessed—her entire arm had become something resembling the tentacle of a giant squid. And as her arm twined its way around my body, it split into more tentacles.

“This is my second divine artifact—Shoggoth!”

“The hell?! This is... Well, if we weren’t locked in deadly combat right now, this might not be that bad...” It was like multiple whips were constricting me, except the tentacles could all move independently of one another, so they were wriggling around.

“Ha! Now you’re mine! How do you like that?! You can’t even move anymore, can you?! Now do you regret not joining me?!” As the tentacles coiled around me, they lifted me into the air, shook me, and even slammed me onto the deck headfirst a couple of times.

“Whoa, hold up! If we’re gonna do tentacle play, can’t you be a little more gentle? This isn’t sexy at all!”

“S-So you’re still calm enough to joke around even after all that, huh? But I wonder, how much longer will that calmness of yours hold out?”

Well, yeah, I mean, I wasn’t gonna take any damage because of my armor of spatial magic, so of course I wasn’t concerned. Just a little dizzy, is all.

And because her attacks weren’t having any effect despite her best efforts, Maririn gradually began to tire out. “J-Just how tough are you, anyway?!”

“Yeah... Sorry to disappoint, but I kinda sorta repel all physical attacks.”

“Physical, you say?! Then how about this—resound, Thunder Vortex!” With a crackling noise, the tentacles around me became imbued with electricity. Normally the high voltage probably would have burned me to a crisp, but of course, it didn’t have any effect.

“Sorry, I forgot to mention I repel all magic attacks too.”

“Wh-What?! It can’t be! None of my attacks are working?! Th-Then how about this?!” Apparently persistent, Maririn stretched her tentacles out over the deck and plunged me into the sea. “Ha ha ha! Take that! Drown in the magnificent sea!”

“Oh, I get it. You’re trying to asphyxiate me now. Not bad.”

“You got it! However resilient you are, all humans have to breathe... What?! You’re supposed to be underwater, in my grasp! Why are you back on the ship, in front of me?!”

Well, if I’m underwater, I can’t hear your lovely voice, of course. So I teleported myself back on the ship. Oh, and the Karina you’ve got in your grasp? That’s just a cast-off skin made of spatial magic. I’m studying to become a cicada. Just kidding.

“Now then, Captain. Surrender quietly, and this won’t be nearly as painful for you,” I said with a grin. “Just hand over Poseidon, Shoggoth, and your socks, and no one else will get hurt.”

“No way!” she said, backing away from me. “Forget it!” Then she leaped backward, off the deck. And not where her pirate ship was docked either. In other words, she jumped right into the sea. Whoa! What, did she decide to kill herself?!

“Poseidon! Emergency Return Home!” she shouted. Her pirate ship shone with white light, then it vanished. So did the captain.

“Huh?” I mumbled, dumbfounded. With nothing to support it anymore, the bridge the pirates had used to board my ship fell into the water with a crash. And the pirates who were on board...were still here for some reason.

“C-Captain?! Did you forget us?! Don’t leave us here!”

“We got left behind?! C-Captain, why?! Why’d you abandon us?! Come back!”

“Wh-Wh-What are we g-g-g-gonna do?! Aaaaaaggghhh!”

Having been stranded by their captain, the pirates fell into a mass of shock and panic, though it certainly looked like some were more distraught than others... Well, whatever. “All right guys, listen up! If you all value your lives, shut up and do what I say! Anyone who speaks out of turn gets thrown in the drink!”

The deck immediately became so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

“The hell?! Who said you get to order us around?! You’re seriously disrespecting Captain Maririn right now! When she comes back, she’s gonna kick your ass!”

Correction: they were all silent, except for Gomez. “And yet, Maririn just ran from me with her tail between her legs. You don’t think I’m stronger than her?”

“Huuuh?! Hell no! No one’s as strong as the captain! She could swat a fly like you with ease! She...she was just holding back, that’s all! If she’d used her full power, you would have been done for... Wait, come to think of it, how are you not hurt at all after that?! What trick did you use to survive?!”

“Huh? You mean you’re just now realizing that?”

“Rrrgh! Anyway, this whole mess would be solved if you’d just give our cargo back! Give it back alreadyyy!”

“You can still make demands even in the situation you’re in? That in itself is impressive in a way, I guess.” For now, though, I upheld my word and kicked Gomez into the sea for speaking out of turn. Once he’d swallowed some water and calmed down a little, I’d pull him out. More importantly, Maririn got away from me yet again! I couldn’t get her sacred treasures or her socks! Aah, dammit!

＊ ＊ ＊

After teleporting the merchant ship back on course and near its destination it normally would have reached by now, I placed the ship’s crew back in their original positions as well.

“H-Huh?! Wh-Where’d you guys come from?!” one crewman shouted.

“Oh, sorry about that. I just borrowed your ship for a little bit, that’s all.”

Because time had stopped for them while they were in closed space, it was like no time had passed since I’d snuck on board, and they were seeing me for the first time. And I’m sure they were shocked to see a bunch of pirates behind me too.

First, I introduced myself. “I’m just a mage who happened to be passing by. And these goons are the pirates who tried to attack you even though you have a license. Go ahead and turn them in, if you please. And while we’re at it, could I get you to tie them up with rope too? I’ve used my magic to silence them, but it doesn’t last forever, so if you could hurry, that’d be great.”

“Huh?! Pirates, you say?! U-Understood, I’ll get the captain! Captain! Captaaain!”

A white-haired old man plodded onto the scene—apparently the ship’s captain. He must have hurried here too, because he was gasping as though out of breath. “I am...huff...the captain...puff...of this vessel. Who are you, miss?”

“Just a mage who happened to be passing by. And also... Oh dear, that’s not good; their restraints are starting to disappear. Er, I mean, it looks like it, anyway.”

“Really? Well, if you say so. All right, men, tie these bandits up. Miss mage, if I could just ask you to hold out until they’re done!”

In no time at all, the bandits were bound with rope. I’d also brought out the bandits I’d stored in my space of holding earlier, so that meant all the pirates who’d gotten on board the merchant ship would now be captured. The area was now safe.

“Oh, by the way, miss mage. Would you mind explaining what exactly happened here?” the captain asked me politely once all of the pirates were restrained.

“I briefly told your men this already just now, but those pirates were saying something about how they needed stock to sell and were planning on stalling your ship for two or three days until your permit ran out, so that they’d be clear to attack you for illegal trading. Long story short, a bunch of lowlifes attacked your ship, so I punished them.”

“Wh-What?! You must be joking! Though it is true that our permit is only good for another two days, since that’s more than enough time to get back to port... Yes, if they’d stalled us until then, it would have indeed expired.” The captain nodded as though he understood. “Miss, if you had the talent to keep our ship from getting attacked, you must be a mage of quite some renown. May I have your name, please?”

“Hmm? Nah, I’d like to keep that secret for now.” The traveling merchant Karina Shounin currently had an alibi, but that alibi might end up crumbling if word got out that I could use such powerful magic. Sensing it would only make matters more troublesome in the end, I instead came up with an excuse to not tell him. “I’m undercover right now, so it’d be pointless to search for information about me based on how I currently look. Right now I’m taking the form of a girl these pirates met at the watering hole in the Trader’s Guild, and I was using that form to lure those no-good nitwits in. As for my real form...don’t ask.”

“You don’t say! To think that you would be able to use transformation magic, of all things! And if you’re that adamant about keeping your identity under wraps, it must be for a good reason. All right, I understand. I won’t ask again.”

“Thanks a bunch. That’d be a big help.” Excellent. Pretty quick thinking, if I say so myself! Besides, I never said this wasn’t my real appearance, so it wasn’t really a lie. Meaning I didn’t need to feel guilty about my answer! “Also, I realize there’s probably no way you can explain the situation without mentioning there was a mage involved, so if you just want to say the pirates were captured by a mage who could use transformation magic, feel free.”

“That’d be a real help on my end, honestly,” the captain said with a sigh. “Now that I get a good look, these are the Marinebell Pirates, right? It’d sound odd if I reported we took them down by ourselves, since there’s no way a crew like us could deal with that bunch on our own.”

Judging by the strength I’d seen from them, he was probably right. Especially Captain Maririn—if she’d been up against anyone other than me, she would have crushed them, or they would have run off before she could.

Oh, right—while I’m at it, I should ask the captain here to look after the three women I rescued from the pirates. He didn’t seem like a bad person, and he was probably smart enough to realize what would happen if he refused my request, so I was glad I’d run into him.

“By the way, there were three women imprisoned on that ship. Can you ask around and see if you can find any relatives or family they can live with?”

“If it’s a request from you, miss mage, I’d be happy to do it. I owe you greatly, after all.” The man bowed his head deeply in gratitude. Excellent—now those girls would be safe, at least.

Having entrusted the women to the ship’s captain, I returned to Verald’s harbor. I watched over the merchant ship until it reached the dock, just in case Maririn happened to show up again.

Now, it was time for the next order of business. According to the pirates, Dia’s sister was currently at the territory lord’s place. I wanted to go to his mansion right now and punch the guy’s lights out, but I’d used so much magic that I was feeling unsteady on my feet. So I spent the remainder of the day resting instead. All of the excitement of today’s battle must have been numbing my senses, because the instant I got back to base, a wave of fatigue hit me like a truck. With Aishia as a lap pillow, I lay down on the couch as I reported everything I’d learned to Dia.

“So yeah, your sister wasn’t with the pirates. According to them, she’s with the territory lord right now, so once I’ve rested up a little, that’s where I’m heading... Uuugh.” Whew, just talking is exhausting. If I didn’t have Aishia here as a lap pillow and Dia’s beauty to heal me, I might have already passed away...

“Also, I stole this golem the pirates were using,” I said, and I pulled out the golem Gomez had been riding. I hadn’t been able to get either of Maririn’s sacred treasures or her socks, so the golem was my only trophy for my victory. “This thing really packs a punch, you know.”

“Big sis, you can’t be serious! You fought a golem all by yourself?!”

“Heh heh...but of course! Despite how I look, I’m super strong!” Still lying on Aishia’s lap, I proudly puffed out my chest. Ooh, ow... Yeah, sorry, that was a bad idea. Just let me be lazy here for a little bit longer... Phew.

“Just what are you, Big Sis Karina?” Dia asked in wonderment.

“Oh? Well, I figured you’d ask sooner or later, and since I’ve already shown you this much, I suppose it’d be fine to tell you the truth. But don’t tell anyone else, okay?”

“Y-Yes, I promise!” Dia nodded, gulping audibly in anticipation. I could also feel Aishia’s legs underneath my head go slightly tense. I raised up with a “heave-ho,” got to my feet, and faced them both.

“Sometimes a great mage, other times, a beautiful thief! But her real identity is...”

“Her real identity is...?!”

“Karina Shounin, a novice traveling merchant! Bwa ha ha!” I struck a cool pose. Er... Looks like they’re not too impressed.

“Forgive my saying this, but I thought the reveal would be a little more...exciting,” Dia mumbled.

“That’s right, master! You betrayed his expectations! In a negative way, that is.”

Yeah, to be honest, even as I said it I thought it sounded pretty lame too. “Well, I get how you feel, but a mage, a thief, and a merchant—those really are all the real me! And since you already know I can do magic and that I stole from pirates, the merchant thing is really the only part I haven’t told you yet!”

“T-True, this is the first I’m hearing about you being a merchant,” Dia said.

And if I was revealing my full identity to someone, I definitely couldn’t leave that part out! Take away the mage and the thief part, and only the adorable Karina Shounin was left! Er, I’ll omit the part about my duty as the Goddess’s sock gofer, though, since that’s pretty lame. Oh... There’s also the fact that I’m from another world and I used to be a guy, I guess. But I’ve already got Dia calling me “Big Sis,” and if he knew the truth, he’d stop. So let’s keep that under wraps too.

That said, it wasn’t like I didn’t get what Aishia was saying. Dia was a young boy, so he probably got all excited thinking I had a much cooler identity, like a superhero. In that case, I should respond to his expectations accordingly...by disguising the truth through clever wording! “Oh, right, there’s one more thing too. The truth is, the great mage Karina has also been tasked with the noble mission of saving the world!”

“H-Huh?! Seriously?! The whole world?!” Dia immediately perked up. All right, hook, line, and sinker!

“You see, the world’s in an energy deficit right now, and if things continue as they are, we’ll be doomed! To prevent that, the Goddess asked me to recover her sacred treasures, and sometimes, I have no choice but to take them by force!”

“R-Really? Wow! You really are amazing, Big Sis Karina!”

“That’s right, Dia. I’m glad you understand just how amazing master is now,” said Aishia.

The Goddess really just wants me to give her socks, though. The sacred treasures are just a side quest.

“However, my adventure’s still only just started, so I don’t really have much to share about my travels. That’s why I’m keeping my identity a secret for now, though—the longer I stay in the shadows, the more freedom I’ll have to act.”

“I see... In other words, you want your persona as a merchant and your persona as a mage to remain separate?”

“Oh, wow, I’m impressed! Yeah, that’s exactly what I mean. Way to go, Dia! Not only are you the cutest, you’re the smartest too!” He’d splendidly verbalized exactly what I wanted to get across. I petted his head to praise him. Honestly, a beauty and a genius? You’re gonna turn out to be the best girl ever!

“In that case, though, why not wear a mask when you’re doing mage work?” he suggested.

“A mask?! Of course! Why didn’t I think of that?!”

Aishia also looked enlightened. “Right! Come to think of it, you say you’re hiding your identity, master, but you’re leaving your face completely exposed!”

The idea had never even occurred to me, but they were absolutely spot-on. If I was hiding my identity, it was only standard to wear a mask! Of course, in manga and anime, the mask usually did very little to actually hide the person’s identity, but it might actually work in a world with no cameras or social networking services!

“Then how about something like this?” Using spatial magic, I quickly fashioned a mask out of a block of wood—a simple one that only covered the area around the eyes. Oh... Right, I just used magic again, and I’m supposed to be resting right now. Well, woodworking doesn’t use much mana anyway, so no big deal.

“Wow, big sis, you look cool!”

“Indeed, master—simple is best, as they say! Though I do feel like it needs some color rather than just plain wood...”

“Color?” I asked. “How about red, maybe?”

“Oh, good idea! I actually saw some red paint back in the pirates’ office! I’ll go paint it for you!” She dashed off excitedly toward the building with the mask in hand—perhaps her minstrel background made her especially proactive toward anything to do with the arts. In the meantime, I lay back down on the couch to rest. Dia was just standing there looking bored, so I called him over and stroked his head while I rested.

“I’m just taking it easy for a little longer, then I’ll head to the lord’s place,” I told him. “I’m not just slacking off, I promise. I just used a little too much mana fighting the pirates, and I want to be ready for anything when I meet the lord.”

“No one believes you’re slacking off, Big Sis Karina,” Dia replied, then he smiled wryly. “Rather, if anyone’s useless here, it’s me. I can’t even do anything to help...” He gripped the hem of his skirt tightly, as though in frustration. Well, he’s just on standby here in my base, wearing girls’ clothing and having to trust some complete stranger (me) to save his sister, so I can understand why he feels that way.

“Don’t worry, Dia! You’re contributing plenty!”

“R-Really? Just by wearing this outfit, you mean? How is that any help?”

“It’s a huge help! Anyone would be more motivated to help a cutie!” If two people in the same situation were asking for help, being more inclined to help the cuter one was only natural. In fact, if someone in need turned out to be ugly, cheeky, and thankless, I wouldn’t feel like helping them at all. I mean, it wasn’t like I was a saint or anything. “Put simply, Dia, your most important job is to act as cute as possible and ignite my heart!”

“Ignite...?”

“Yeah! Your main role is to use your cuteness to motivate me to do my best! As for how to do that, I’ll leave it up to you, though I will say you’re plenty cute as you are already.”

Dia put his hand to his chin as though seriously considering it. What an honest kid. His cuteness really is like an oasis for my eyes. And it didn’t matter that he was actually a boy, since I was never really going to lay a hand on him anyway! It was enough for me to just appreciate his beauty. Actually, you know what would really help to enjoy the scenery more? Some alcohol! When you’re resting, you gotta unwind with some booze! Besides, Dia only looks like a girl, so I don’t need to worry about doing anything rash while I’m drunk!

“All right, let’s bust out some drinks! Oh, not you, though, Dia. You’re still too young.”

“Er, actually, I’ve had alcohol before already...back in the kingdom of elves.”

“Oh, really?” Well, he was an elf, after all, so maybe he was much older than he looked. I brought out the wine I’d obtained during my drinking contest with Gomez and poured a little into a cup. “Then wanna try a sip first? If you can handle that, I’ll let you drink with us.”

“O-Okay.” Dia gently put his lips to the edge of the cup and sipped. “Whew... See? I’ll be just fine... Whoa... Aah...”

“Uh-oh. Yep, I knew it. Looks like this wine’s way too strong for a kid like you.” Dia collapsed, nearly dropping the cup, but I caught both him and the cup before they hit the ground. Or perhaps it was just that his mental fatigue had finally caught up with him. Either way, I downed the rest of the wine in the cup. I knew by now that if I drank too much I’d lose my memory, so this was the perfect amount.

Oof, now I was getting sleepy all of a sudden. Maybe I was just as exhausted and hadn’t realized it. I’ll just take a quick nap, then I’ll go over to the territory lord’s place. Blanket... I need a blanket. I used magic to pull the blanket from my bed in my room over to me. There. Oh, I guess I can’t let Dia sleep on the floor either, so I’ll just cover him up with me. There... All right, good night!

“Yaaawn... Whew, I slept like a log! Er... What time is it right now, anyway?” I peeked outside of my base to check the sky outside. It was morning, and the weather was great. A perfect day to attack the territory lord. Or wait, if I’m attacking, would it be better to wait until it rains instead?

“G-Good morning, big sis.”

“Hmm? An angel...? Wait, no, it’s just you, Dia.” That was close—for a moment there, I thought I’d made an angel my body pillow. Oh, looks like there’s another blanket on me too. It must have been Aishia. How nice! She’s so sweet.

“At any rate, it looks like you can’t handle your liquor, so I’ll buy some juice for you later.”

“Aww. I can’t believe I passed out like that after acting all confident... More importantly, though, could you let me go? I, er, need to go to the bathroom... Where is the bathroom here, anyway?”

“Oh, right. Through that door over there.” I let go of Dia, and the boy scurried toward the door, all red-faced. By the way, the “bathroom” was just a scavenger slime toilet. Once Dia straddled the slime, he pulled up the hem of his skirt, placed his hands on both sides of his panties and— Oh, looks like he finally noticed he left the door open. Blushing furiously, he quickly slammed it shut.

“Phew... Now that’s a fine scene to see first thing in the morning.” The scene of a cross-dressing boy going to the bathroom... Somehow, that makes me feel wide-awake and refreshed!

...Oh! Uh-oh. I forgot that the slime wasn’t unisex. Those were three times more expensive, for one, but with just Aishia and me here, we only needed the one for women anyway. Though Dia’s just as cute as any girl, so maybe the slime won’t mind? But if not... Oh, no!

As soon as I’d thought that, the door opened again with a creak. “Aaaagggh! Big sis, help me!”

The scavenger slime was angrily slapping Dia on the rear. Still, it wasn’t hitting him with the section Dia had already done his business on, so one could say the slime was being more lenient than usual.

“Oh, sorry about that, Dia. I guess to a scavenger slime, it doesn’t really matter how cute you are.” While rescuing him from the slime with my magic, I wondered if there was a unisex slime somewhere in the pirates’ office. There had to at least be one for males, right? Well, at least it seemed none of Dia’s pee had gotten on his clothes, so that was a blessing.

“Good morning, master. It seems like you enjoyed yourself last night.”

“Oh, yeah, sorry about that. I drank some of that wine and I guess it just knocked me out. Thanks for the blanket, by the way.”

Aishia already had our breakfast set out on the table. Wow! The bread and cream stew look great! Now that’s a tasty breakfast. Don’t mind if I do!

“Oh, and here you go, master. I’m quite proud of how it turned out.”

“Ooh, you finished the mask! Thanks a bunch, Aishia! You’re the best!”

The mask I’d made yesterday was now adorned with an immaculate-looking coat of red paint. Hell yeah! With this, I can finally be an international woman of mystery! I stuck it onto my face using spatial magic and turned to Dia. “Well? How do I look? Cool?”

“Yes, big sis! Super cool, in fact!”

Still, I had to make it look like I was wearing it normally or it’d look strange, so I’d need to find some other way of attaching it to my face. I couldn’t just hold the mask up to my face all the time, after all. Let’s see, what to use? Rubber? String? Double-sided tape?

“And please, take this as well,” she said, setting a sheaf of papers on the table. “These documents might serve as evidence for the pirates’ wrongdoing.”

“Oh, no kidding? Excellent! Thanks again, Aishia!”

“Oh, no, this was mostly Dia’s doing, not mine.”

“That’s right,” Dia said with a nod. “I didn’t get a chance to hand them over yesterday, but I checked the locked drawers and hidden safes like you said, and we found those. Feel free to use them.”

Apparently, Aishia hadn’t been able to make heads or tails of the documents, so she’d shown them to Dia, who’d read through them all. Yes, yes, I see... Yeah, I can’t understand a lick of this either! I’m glad you were here to help us, Dia! You’re so smart!

“Thanks a bunch, both of you! With this, I’ll definitely be able to save your sister!” In truth, I wasn’t certain it would help at all, but the two were trying so hard that I felt like I needed to praise them anyway. Still, I imagined that if I shoved this in the lord’s face and said, The jig is up! Your misdeeds have been exposed! he’d surely be rattled enough to confess to everything. Surely.

“Okay, now that we’re done eating, I’m off to infiltrate the territory lord’s mansion and find your sister. Search the pirates’ office in the meantime for anything that looks useful. There should be bedding and necessities and the like in there, at least.” I mean, if there was a can of red paint just lying around, there were probably other useful things in there too.

“Understood, sis!”

“Yes, master. Dia and I will each search half of the building.”

“Great. Be especially on the lookout for bedding. I can’t keep squeezing Dia like a pillow every night like I did last night, so he will need some of his own. Anything too heavy to move, just tell me about it, and I’ll move it myself later. By the way, sorry for that last night, Dia... I, er, didn’t stink, did I?” That blanket had been on my bed where I’d done all sorts of things in the privacy of my room, and I’d hardly washed it since copying it back in Solasidore’s church...

“N-No, of course not! I-It was...a good smell!”

Somehow, the fact that you’re averting your eyes and looking anxious isn’t very convincing, you know.

＊ ＊ ＊

Now that I’d rested, I had enough mana to go to the territory lord’s mansion. And since I’d hugged the fair maiden Dia while resting, I was sufficiently motivated too. Still, I needed to make a proper sleeping environment for him, so I hoped that there’d be some good furnishings in the pirates’ office. If we found anything especially useful, I doubted it would hurt to make a few copies either.

“Hey, Siesta, can you tell me where the lord of this territory lives?” I asked.

“My, that’s a sudden question, colleague. But he lives in that castle over there.”

“Castle? Where?”

“You don’t see it? It’s right there, where I’m pointing.”

“Huh? Oh, that little fortress? That counts as a castle? It just looks like a square stronghold to me. Thanks, though.”

Excellent! Now that I’ve gotten the information I need from the church, I can head straight there!

Now...how to get in? I thought about using the Goddess’s all-purpose hypnosis ID to enter from the front, but this time, I decided to sneak in from above. I might have to search the whole place to find the elf girl, and I’d be in trouble if I used my ID every time someone came and questioned me.

“All right, where are you, miss elf?” After teleporting myself onto the roof of the lord’s residence, I camouflaged myself and headed inside. Ooh, there are maids here! Let’s borrow a maid outfit and disguise myself as one.

All right, now it was time to gather information from the servants. Mm... So tonight’s menu is grilled fish, huh? Sounds delicious. Oh, that’s the dish new kitchen servants train on, you say? Sounds rough. And you’ve got to go buy the alcohol too? Well, you don’t need to buy any for me, ’cause I’ve already got a ton of wine stocked up! Sorry, just some light humor.

Anyway, at one point I overheard a conversation between two people.

“Any news on the whereabouts of that elf?”

“I’m sorry, we’re still looking. And we haven’t found any new clues...”

Oh, jackpot! They were talking about an elf?! It sounded like a commander talking to his soldier. Keep talking! Tell me more!

“It’s looking less and less likely that we’ll succeed... Well, anyway, keep searching. Don’t leave any stone unturned.”

“Understood!”

Huh? That’s all I get?! They were so vague that I didn’t get to learn much of anything at all! Hmm... Though, if they were searching around for the elf, could she have escaped somehow?

I continued searching around the territory lord’s residence for a little while longer—when I spotted a familiar face. Miss Maria! My old friend from the bathhouse! Why was she here, though? Rather, now that she was actually clothed, I could see her outfit was distinguished, like a noble’s... No, not like one, she clearly was a noble. And I recognized the women beside her from the bath as well.

Was Maria perhaps some big, important figure? And these ladies were her attendants? If so, had they come to the public bath back then in secret? Come to think of it, those women had done a really good job washing me, so they were probably professional ladies-in-waiting.

Hmm... So what did that mean? Back in the bath, she hadn’t seemed like a bad person, so I doubted she’d even think about making an elf girl her pet. In fact, if I casually went up to her and asked, Hey Maria, what do you think about elves? and she replied with, They’re my favorite kind of pet slave! it would catch me completely off guard. Not that it’d be a good idea to ask her that point-blank anyway.

In other words—it was time to approach her discreetly! I’d come up to her like a mysterious passerby, greet her politely, and while she was surrounded by her attendants and didn’t feel like she was in danger, I’d ask what I needed to ask and then be on my way! That was how the Phantom Thief Karina did things! I placed the red mask on my face, dispelled my camouflage, and walked forward.

“Excuse me, madam, may I have a moment of your time?”

“Hmm? How’d you get into the castle?”

“I just used a little magic. Oh, but don’t worry, I’m not here to hurt anyone at the moment.” I said, bowing dramatically.

Maria’s attendants immediately stood in front of her to guard her. Wow, nice speed. No wonder they were chosen as her security detail. “The other day,” I continued, “an elf boy came to me and asked me to save his older sister. And when I asked some pirates about her, they told me she’d become the territory lord’s pet. If you could find it in your heart to release her, I’ll leave peacefully.”

“An elf... Oh, yes, that girl. I remember. In that case, you can rest easy. She’s on her way back to her home country as we speak.”

“Huh? Really?”

“It’d be an international problem if she stayed, you see. We paid her handsomely for all her trouble as well. We certainly don’t want to go to war with the elves, if we can help it... I see, so you were the mage who crushed those pirates, Miss Kari?”

Wha?! She saw through my disguise?! It can’t be! How?! I wore a mask and everything! “Y-You must be mistaken, Miss Maria. That name sounds like it belongs to a beautiful girl, and I’m no beauty.”

“Oh, drop the act. It’s obvious who you are, even with that mask. I’m the former lord’s wife, you know. Don’t underestimate me. If you want to try and fool me, at least cover your entire face next time.”

“Guh... Er, all right, fine.”

Maria shrugged and shook her head as if to say, Good grief.

Well, she did recognize me right away, so her argument’s sound. And she was the previous lord’s wife all along?! Now her words back in the bath make sense.

“Although, to be honest, I only became certain just now.”

“You tricked me into admitting it?! How mean, Miss Maria!”

“I was right in the end, wasn’t I? So no harm done. Besides, we massaged each other’s breasts, so we’re friends, no?”

Rrgh... I can’t argue with that!

“Still, hold on just a minute,” she said. “Is that elf boy you mentioned...safe right now?”

“Oh, yeah, he is. I’ve got him with me.”

“You do?! What a relief! He’s alive, then. Oh, thank the gods—no, I mean, thank you, Miss Kari! That means I’ll get to keep my head!”

“Huh? Your head?” And bowing to me while thanking the gods, huh? You’re all over the place, huh, Miss Maria?

“You see, I was asked to look for that elf boy and protect him myself if I found him. The boy was apparently mixed in with the cargo the pirates stole, so I’d made arrangements to have all of the cargo brought here.” She went on to say that the pirates would raise the cargo’s price if they knew an elf was mixed in, so she’d planned to buy the cargo as it was without mentioning the boy. But the warehouse with the cargo had burned, so she’d worried all the cargo inside had burned too. In other words, she’d feared that Dia had been burned to a crisp along with the warehouse.

“I had the guards searching the area to see if we could at least find his body. Then I heard the Marinebell Company’s office vanished without warning, and then I got word that the pirates had illegally attacked a merchant ship and got taken down by a mage who’d just happened to be in the area. I interrogated the pirates to try and find out the truth, but their accounts were all inconsistent, and none of it made any sense.”

“Oh...right.”

“In fact, one of them even said the mage was merely using transformation magic to assume your form, Miss Kari. Tell me, why didn’t you use that excuse on me too? It would have been at least a little more convincing.”

“Damn, I forgot about that!” I’d used that excuse only last night, and I’d completely forgotten about it! Shit!

“Sorry, sorry. I didn’t point it out to be mean. I’ll keep quiet about you, but in exchange, could you tell me more about the boy? Is he doing well?”

“Oh yeah, he’s right as rain. Just this morning we had breakfast together, in fact.”

“You don’t say? Well, I’m glad to hear that. I’m sure if he’s with you, I don’t have to worry about anything untoward happening to him.”

“R-Right! Of course not!” Yeah, nothing untoward. I’m just making him cross-dress as a girl, is all.

“Oh, Miss Maria, about the Marinebell Pirates—it seems they have a very close relationship with the territory lord, but surely they won’t get let off the hook?”

“Of course not. As close a relationship as we have with them, we can’t condone them attacking merchant ships who actually have permits. They’ll probably all get sent to work in the mines. Rather, if my son, the current lord, did let them off scot-free, I’d kick him into the mines along with them!” She cackled cheerfully. “And earlier they even attacked a merchant ship belonging to elves! That fool Maririn, doing whatever she pleases! She’s completely forgotten about the debt she’s owed me for so long!”

Maria punched her hand into her fist, seemingly angry. Though if you asked me, it was the town’s fault for hiring pirates to enforce law in the first place. Still, she knew Captain Maririn too, huh? As expected of a former lord’s wife—she was certainly well-connected.

“But how did you know she captured the elf?” I asked.

“Hmm? Because the slave traders here are also directly affiliated with the territory lord. They’re like our civil servants. Of course they’d inform us if something dangerous like an elf came through their doors.”

Something dangerous like an elf, huh? Well, she did say it’d be an international problem, after all.

“The pirates work directly under us too, of course, but lately they’ve really been overstepping their bounds. Causing us all kinds of trouble too.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yes, and we’ve already tried to crush them before, so don’t worry. I’m not going to criticize what you did.”

“Well, I’m glad to hear that. I wouldn’t want to antagonize you too, Miss Maria.” We were bath buddies, after all!

“While we’re already on the subject, Miss Kari, I might as well ask: Do you think you could capture Maririn on my behalf? We have ways of luring her out, but our forces simply aren’t strong enough to bring her in.”

“Oh, well, I technically could, I guess.” As long as she doesn’t run away again.

“Then if you could help me do that, I’d really appreciate it. Naturally, I’d reward you as well. What do you say?”

“Well, instead of a reward, could you promise that even if I end up destroying her Poseidon or whatever in the process, you won’t complain? You just want me to capture her and hand her over, right?”

“Yes, that would be just fine. I only ask that you don’t harm the town or its people.”

Works for me! All right, permission obtained! Now I can take the sacred treasure and deliver it to the Goddess, then just report that it broke in battle! Perfect!

“How do you plan on luring her out, though?” I asked.

“We’ll execute Gomez in plain sight. With one of her officers made the victim of a public execution, there’s no way she can stay hidden. She’ll have to show herself.”

Whoa, that was a pretty extreme plan! In this world, a life really was about as lightweight as a pancake soufflé, huh?

“The only problem is,” she continued, “since we’re keeping the elf incident under wraps, we really don’t have enough of a reason to execute him as it stands.”

“Oh, in that case, no need to worry. Gomez set fire to that warehouse himself. Rough up those subordinates of his a little, and they’ll tell you the same thing, I’m sure.”

“Oh! So he set the fire! That’s more than enough reason to execute him, then! Thank you for the information, Miss Kari. That’s just what I needed.”

And so, Gomez’s execution was set in stone. “Oh, also, these documents were in the Marinebell Pirates’ office. Here you go. See if there’s anything useful written there.” I took out the papers that Dia and Aishia had found and handed them to Miss Maria.

“Oho, I see, I see. Excellent! Yes, with this much proof, we should be able to execute Gomez right away. And while we’re at it, we can behead a few of his lackeys too. It seems they’ve really been up to no good.”

I hadn’t been able to understand those documents at all, but a bigwig like her apparently could. Now several of Gomez’s pirate subordinates would be on the chopping block alongside him. Well, I did feel a little bad, but this time I had to get Maririn’s socks whatever the cost. They just got unlucky enough to be born into a crazy world where its deity valued socks over human lives. Sorry, Gomez and his lackeys. If you want to blame someone, blame your Goddess.

“Well, at least now Dia—er, I mean, the elf boy—can safely reunite with his sister.”

“Yes, he’ll surely be thrilled. I’ll send a messenger bird out right away informing her to come back to town. If you’d come here yesterday instead of today, she would have still been here, but no helping that, I suppose. Once his sister arrives, you’ll hand the boy back to her, I assume?”

“That’s the plan. Until then, I’ll keep him safe with me.”

“I appreciate that. The situation being what it is, we’d prefer not to make this a big deal.” She shrugged again.

“Thanks to you, it looks like we’ll be able to end this incident peacefully,” I said.

“I’m family to the territory lord, after all. It’s my job to do that much. Oh, and as for your burglary, kidnapping, and unlawful trespassing, I’ll turn a blind eye to all that as additional thanks for helping me,” she said. And under her breath, she muttered, “After all, even if I didn’t, I doubt any of my guards could arrest you.”

Well, I was the world’s strongest, so that stood to reason. “Thanks for all your help, miss. Wanna rub my boobs again?”

“Let’s save that for our next bath together,” she said with a smile. “Right now my attendants and I have other matters to attend to.”

I see. Well, if she’s busy, nothing for it. It’ll just have to wait until the next bath.

#Side: Previous Territory Lord’s Wife

“The elf’s sister will probably arrive the day after tomorrow, so come back to the castle then,” I said. “And if you wouldn’t mind, use the front door this time.”

“Roger that. Later, then!” The girl I called Miss Kari waved, then vanished without warning, as suddenly as she’d appeared.

“Lady Mariantine,” my lady-in-waiting began, but I gave her the hand signal I used during my formal evening gatherings. It meant keep your guard up. The girl might have disappeared, but it didn’t necessarily mean she’d left. She might still be in the room, or even if not, she might come back at any time to retrieve something she’d forgotten. You could never be too careful—after all, she’d snuck into the castle without alerting anyone and appeared right in front of me. Even my ladies-in-waiting, who were trained to sense unusual presences, had only noticed something strange just before she’d appeared. In fact, it was only after she’d appeared that they’d realized she’d trespassed.

In other words, she could have been listening to everything we were saying without us even knowing. And knowing what she was capable of, I had to be careful. For a while, it would be best to exercise the same level of caution as when I attended those evening parties for nobility. At least until the arrangement with the elf was over. My ladies-in-waiting seemed to understand my intent as well, because they nodded.

“Honestly, though, when she appeared like that out of the blue, I was so startled that I think it shaved off several years of my life. I wish she wouldn’t do that anymore.” I didn’t particularly care if she heard that—rather, if she were still here and listened to my request, it would only be to my benefit.

“Is this the part where I’m supposed to say, ‘No, you can’t die, Lady Mariantine’?” my attendant asked.

“Ha! Don’t you worry, I’ll live for another thirty-five years.”

“If I remember correctly,” she replied, “last time I asked, you said you weren’t going to die for another forty. You subtracted five years. What’s that all about?”

We continued our lighthearted banter as we walked through the hallways. I needed to make my reports as soon as possible. Whether it was a stroke of luck or a stroke of misfortune, time would tell—but with the girl now covering up our most critical mistake, things seemed like they were looking up.

Along the way, I let the guards know that there was no more need to search for the elf and to inform the units currently out searching to return. Then my attendants and I returned to my own room. Once inside, I activated a magic item that soundproofed the room. “I’m not sure if it’ll actually keep her from listening in, but it’s more for peace of mind than anything,” I said. “Now we can talk freely.”

“Just who is she, Lady Mariantine?!” my attendant blurted out, as though she’d held her question in all this time. She’d probably recognized Miss Kari as the same girl she’d thoroughly scrubbed down in the public bath the other day.

Since the girl hadn’t immediately recognized “Maria” as “Lady Mariantine, wife of the previous territory lord,” I’d assumed she was a country bumpkin who didn’t know anything about Verald. I never would have guessed she was such an important figure.

“First of all, she’s definitely not your average mage, as she claims to be. I’m sure you both heard about the Kingdom of Alchemy getting destroyed. According to the rumors, it fell to ruin in a single night, then was crushed to a pulp over the next seven days and nights. And I’d rather Verald not share the same fate.”

“Th-Then that means...”

“Maririn has not just one, but two divine artifacts. Yet that girl bested her. I’m sure you can figure out the rest.” I’d learned that information from interrogating the pirates we’d captured. “At any rate, it’s best not to look into her too much. To us, she’s Miss Kari, and to her, we’re Miss Maria and her lady friends. And I’d like to keep it that way. Understand?”

“You don’t think that’ll cause...trouble, though?” My attendant looked worried. However, she was just my attendant. Regardless of what she thought, I had the final say in the matter. If Miss Kari was indeed the one who’d destroyed the Kingdom of Alchemy, would it be more beneficial for me to stay her friend or to assert my authority over her? The answer was obviously the former.

“Don’t worry. By my judgment, she’s a good person at her core. At least, she won’t hurt us as long as we don’t try anything on her.”

“Even though she wiped out an entire pirate crew that was directly underneath you?”

“Well, they deserved it, didn’t they? I was already going to punish them even if she hadn’t stepped in. In fact, she just saved me the trouble, so shouldn’t I be grateful?” I put some force in my tone of voice so that my attendant would drop the issue.

“Absolutely, Lady Mariantine!” she said with a smile.

Not only had the Marinebell Pirates laid their hands on an elf, they were illegally attacking merchant ships—and they’d been doing it regularly too. In fact, we’d once had enough proof and testimony to accuse them before, but with that divine artifact Poseidon, we hadn’t been able to touch them. They were truly dangerous, and they needed to be dealt with. And right now, we had around ninety percent of those pirates in our custody. This was our chance to get rid of them once and for all.

“Though the ten percent still at large are the most dangerous, including Maririn and her Poseidon artifact.”

“When I asked Miss Kari to help, I expected her to turn me down. But she agreed immediately. What’s more, she put the matter of her reward on hold.”

“Right, I noticed that too.”

Technically, she’d asked permission to destroy the sacred artifacts in lieu of a reward, but as powerful as she was, that was likely going to happen regardless, so it hardly counted as a request. In other words, by not specifying a reward, she was telling me she’d ask for one later—or perhaps not a reward but a favor.

“Either way, she’s not someone I want to make an enemy of if I can help it,” I said with a shrug. “Oh, come to think of it, my son might have misjudged her as well. Helza, go inform him of the situation, just in case.”

“Yes, Lady Mariantine.” With that, my attendant Helza went to report to my son, the current territory lord. She would tell him not to retaliate against Miss Kari unless he wanted to face ruin, because she’d most likely destroyed the Kingdom of Alchemy. He needed to cooperate with her rather than seek revenge for getting her way or coercing her.

“And while we’re at it, let’s send a letter to Maririn letting her know her crew’s in our custody. By the way, Teresa... Did you catch the scent of elves from that girl?”

“Yes, and a rather dense scent at that. Almost like she slept with one. As thoroughly as we scrubbed her in the bath the other day, there’s no doubt that it’s happened recently. But there was no smell of semen... Although the elf is just a boy, so perhaps he’s just not old enough to produce semen yet.”

My attendant Teresa had wolf blood in her veins, giving her an extraordinary sense of smell. More than a few times, that sense of smell had saved me from getting fatally poisoned, so hers was a nose I trusted greatly.

“Oh... Oh dear. So that’s what happened. Good grief, how are we going to explain that to his sister? Though it could be worse, I suppose. At least we don’t have to worry about Miss Kari bearing his child.” If Teresa thought that was what happened, then it probably was. Rather, I’d have been more surprised if she was wrong, and they’d just innocently slept in a bed together with a thoroughly unwashed blanket covering them both.

“Honestly. Crises like these are why I can’t kick the bucket yet. I’ve still got another fifty years left in me!”

“Oh, you added more years this time, I see?” Teresa remarked.

“By living vicariously through youth as lively as Miss Kari, I’ll surely prolong my expiration date! Remember that when you’re twenty years older too.”

Really, though, I’ve made quite the dangerous acquaintance. But as long as she’s on my side, that danger of hers will be a huge boon to me going forward.

Chapter 3

Hi, I’m Karina! Have you ever had a chance encounter that felt like fate? Well, I have! One of the old ladies I met the other day in the bath turned out to be a big deal—namely, the wife of the previous territory lord! Thanks to that, it looks like I’m gonna get let off the hook for breaking, entering, and stealing! Not only that, she’s calling Dia’s sister back here! Now if I can just do something about Captain Maririn, everyone will live happily ever after! (Except for Gomez, since he’ll be executed, but no helping that.)

And so I returned to my base, immediately informing Dia of the good news. “Hey, Dia, guess what?! Your sister’s alive, and she’s safe! You’ll be able to see her two days from now!”

“H-Huh?! Really?!”

“Really! One of my bath buddies turned out to be the territory lord’s mom, and I talked to her about it. Your sister was apparently in the middle of being escorted home.”

“Oh... That’s a relief, but then does that mean she planned on leaving me behind?” he muttered, a crease forming between his brows.

Uh-oh, is he pouting? Like, “I was worried about her all this time, and she just went home on her own?!” pouting?

“N-No, Dia, of course not! Your sister didn’t abandon you! The warehouse you were in caught fire, and she automatically assumed you’d burned up with the rest of the cargo. So she didn’t do anything wrong.”

“What?! The warehouse caught fire?! Then I was in serious danger, huh? If it hadn’t been for you, big sis, I would’ve died. Once again, thank you for rescuing me!”

Gomez would never have set fire to the warehouse if I hadn’t made off with the cargo in the first place, though. And he would have been safe in the warehouse with the rest of the cargo if I hadn’t done anything at all, so maybe it would have been better if I hadn’t gotten involved in the first place. Sorry about that, Dia.

Aishia gently set her cup of tea onto the table. “By the way, master, Dia and I searched the pirate office. We found the bedding you requested, as well as several other potentially useful items, including a full-length mirror.”

“A full-length mirror, eh? The kind that lets you look at your whole body, you mean?”

“Yes. It’s a luxury item you can make through alchemy. I could finally get a good look at my new face myself, and I am just smitten with your godlike talent!” she said, with a look of pure infatuation.

“O-Oh, you don’t say? Well, I did the best I could, so I suppose that tracks.” Well, since she’s a minstrel, her looks are probably just especially important to her, that’s all.

Speaking of appearances, I hadn’t really gotten a good look at myself lately since the Goddess first showed me this body she gave me. And it’s not like I could look down at my body either, because my big boobs got in the way. I was thinking I could put it in my room so I could admire my own beauty unhindered at last...when the elf beauty caught my eye.

“Hey, Dia, did you look at your current self in that mirror as well? I bet you did, huh?”

“Er... Y-Yes, I did. Why do you ask?”

“You were super cute, weren’t you?! I bet even you thought you were cute!”

“N-No comment.” His face went red all the way up to his ears. Yep, that confirms it! He definitely thought he was cute!

“Let’s see, where was that mirror in the office? Oh, I see it. All right, yoink!” I grabbed the mirror and pulled it out of the pirates’ office over to me. It was a pretty glass mirror with a silver frame. Wow! As I thought, I really am a catch! What a beauty! I looked kind of like the Goddess, but with black hair and an adult body. And when the girl in the mirror moved exactly the way I did, it made me realize all over again that this was me now!

Wait... Come to think of it, Dia and I are pretty much in the same situation right now, huh? We both had the minds of guys, but we looked like girls, so we still hadn’t entirely gotten used to the change. The only difference was that every part of me was female, and I could never go back to being a guy... Well, whatever. Point is, Dia and I are kindred spirits—which means I’ve got to turn Dia into a girl as well, right?!

“Er... D-Do I really have to keep wearing this?”

“You sure do. You’re adorable, so I want you to stay that way. You agree, right, Aishia?”

“Yes! You’re incredibly cute—so cute, I’m honestly jealous! Your natural beauty is far too powerful!”

“B-But I’m a boy...” Dia mumbled, fidgeting at Aishia’s compliment.

“Heh heh... Dia, let me teach you a little saying from my home country. I want you to repeat after me—only men can cross-dress, so it’s the most manly thing you can do!”

“O-Only men can c-cross-dress, so it’s the most manly thing you can do?!” Dia looked shocked by the silly proverb from my beloved Japan. That’s right, kid—right now you’re in your peak male form! Take pride in it! But also stay a little embarrassed, because it’s cuter that way!

“W-Wait... You’re trying to trick me, aren’t you?!” he blurted.

“Guess it was pretty obvious, huh?” Yeah—after all, it’s basically the same as saying the ultimate male was a man who got a sex change to become a woman. If someone told me that, I’d probably punch them.

“Oh, but to be honest, there’s an actual important reason that I need you to cross-dress. It’s related to the divine mission I’ve been given, as a matter of fact.”

“H-Huh?! H-How could my cross-dressing possibly be that significant?!”

“I can’t tell you—it’s confidential. But I can tell you this: The embarrassment you feel toward your appearance will absolutely not go to waste! Remember that well! Aishia, you help too!”

“Understood, master! I am in your service, as always!”

The Goddess wants that spice of shame, after all, so I can’t let him get too comfortable! Come to think of it, maybe I can use this mirror to stir up his embarrassment and make him an even more complete femboy! I positioned the mirror in front of Dia and fixed it in place, then went to stand behind him. I took hold of both his shoulders and turned him toward the mirror. Reflected before him was a ridiculously cute elf girl.

“Dia, I want you to look right at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself you’re cute!”

“Wh-What?! Wh-Why do I have to do something like that?!”

“Just do it! For your big sis!”

“U-Urgh... Y-You’re cute,” he mumbled.

Despite his embarrassment, he did exactly what I asked. Wow! “Now say it again, and this time, look yourself right in the eyes. Feel it in your soul! Take pride in your cuteness!”

“Y...You’re cute!”

“Keep going!”

“Y...Y-You’re really cute!” With his face as red as a tomato, he continued complimenting his own reflection.

“In fact, you’re even cuter than some regular girls! Because you’re an elf, I wonder? No, I’m sure it’s just because you’re you, Dia!”

“I’m cute...”

“I’m not the only one who thinks that, you know? Aishia’s also envious of how cute you are!”

“I’m cute...!”

“A girl had me captivated from the moment I laid eyes on her. And that girl was you, Dia! Understand?”

“E-Er...”

“Say it with me, Dia. ‘I’m cute.’”

“I-I’m cute.”

Humans have this weird tendency to believe something is true if they keep repeating it. Some people call it “autosuggestion,” others, “the power of words.” I hoped that if Dia kept telling himself he was cute, he might start to believe it from the bottom of his heart—

“Hey! What are you trying to do, brainwash me?!”

“Uh-oh, guess you’re smarter than you look, huh?”

“I’m more surprised you know how to do it, Big Sis Karina! Were you in an intelligence corps or something?!”

Mm... Yeah, that was a mistake. I guess I misjudged him. Tee hee, I’m so clumsy! Still, he was just so cute that I thought it might work! In fact, he seemed even cuter than before! Wait, did my autosuggestion technique work on me instead? Well, whatever. He was definitely cute. It’d cause problems if he grew to have a more masculine appearance later in life, but weren’t elves eternally youthful or something anyway? I’m not too sure, but if so, there’s a chance he’ll stay this way until I die!

“You’re as knowledgeable as I expected, master!” Aishia commented.

“Hehe, thanks. I mean, girls are just cuter when they’re confident in their own cuteness, right? Now if only I could find some personal grooming tools somewhere...”

“G-Grooming? For me, you mean?” Dia asked nervously.

“Yeah, like a comb, or cosmetics. Know anything about where I could get something like that, Aishia? I’m lacking knowledge in that department, at least.”

“That would stand to reason, master, since you’re already perfect as you are. But yes, we currently don’t have anything like that at our base, do we? I can certainly try and find some.”

Great, then I’ll leave that to Aishia. Wow, having a born-and-raised woman here sure is a big help!

“Master, since Dia’s going to finally be reunited with his sister, how about you go out to eat tonight?”

“Hmm? All right, then we’ll all go and eat out—”

“No, master, you misunderstand. While I’m out gathering the beauty supplies, why don’t just you and Dia go on a date together? I’ll get my food while I’m out, so don’t worry about me.”

“Oh...!” A date with Dia? In other words, a date with a beautiful girl? Not a bad idea. “I’ll take you up on that. Excellent suggestion!”

“Oh, master, your praise makes me so happy,” Aishia said with a nod. I petted her head. Good girl, good girl.

“Then I’ll leave the shopping to you in the meantime! Dia, we’re going out for a fancy dinner! As luck would have it, I’ve got the money from those pirates, so it’ll be my treat!”

“O-Okay. But are you sure it’s okay to spend that money however you please?”

“Hmm... Well, if it becomes a problem, I can always just pay it back later, so it’ll be fine! Besides, this is a special occasion!”

And so, while Aishia took care of my errands, I took Dia out to eat. By the way, Dia himself seemed to not have realized, but he was still wearing his cute dress. Aishia and I noticed, of course—but naturally, neither of us pointed it out.

And so, Dia and I entered a restaurant that looked tasty, ordered some paella and ate it with relish, and even enjoyed dessert afterward. Around the time that the check arrived, Dia finally realized he was wearing a dress out in public.

“Oh no! Now I can never be someone’s husband!”

“Well, at least you can be someone’s wife!”

“I’m a boy, big sis! I’m a...boy...!”

But no one else around had thought so, including the waiter, who’d said we girls looked so cute together that he’d given us each an extra fruit plate and coconut juice along with our dessert. Not to mention Dia’s plate had been especially full, and as he’d thanked the waiter politely with a radiant smile, everyone around had nearly melted into a puddle from the cuteness! Myself included!

After we left, I took the red-faced Dia’s hand and pulled him along the road, thinking we’d take a walk around town to aid in digesting our meal.

“I was too careless... No wonder I thought it felt unusually breezy down there...”

Well, there was no wind in my closed space, after all, so he wouldn’t have noticed until we were outside. I understood. “You really are cute, though, Dia. Or should I say Miss Dia? Hmm... Both are good, so I can’t decide!”

“Ugh...”

“You’re even cute when you pout! Oh, by the way, I can see your panties.”

“Ah?!” Dia hastily held his skirt down with his hand.

“Keh heh, what’s wrong? The embarrassed way you just reacted to having your panties seen... It’s almost like you’re a girl or something.”

“I-I’m not!”

“Then show me. Show me those panties without getting embarrassed! It’s girls’ underwear, so if you’re not a girl, you shouldn’t be ashamed!” I grabbed his skirt like I was about to lift it up. He held it down even tighter.

“D-Don’t pull it! You’re being naughty, Big Sis Karina!”

“Ah ha ha! I mean, you’re just so cute, after all!”

Judging by how red his face was, he was feeling some serious shame right now. At this rate, I could definitely get some socks chock-full of that spice the Goddess was so fond of! All right, just one more push. Sorry, Dia...but I need to ensure a fruitful sock delivery!

“Check it out, Dia. Everyone’s looking at you. That’s because you’re cute.”

“Mmmrgh... No, it’s because I look weird...”

“That’s not true at all. Right now, none of these people can tell you’re even a boy. And you’re even cuter than some actual girls, you know? Look over there, for instance. That guy’s totally smitten. He might even come over and try to hit on you. Look, when he just met your gaze, he got embarrassed and turned away real quick!”

“Huh...”

Ooh, looks like it’s working. But it wasn’t like it was a lie—he really didn’t look any different from an actual girl. If he just leaned into it more, he really would make a perfect girl. Not that I really wanted him to, since his embarrassment made him so much cuter. So this was the power of the femboy! Even my male heart was going pit-a-pat!

“Heh heh, and right now, I’m getting to go on a date with someone so cute! I’m so lucky!”

“Th-That’s right, we’re on a date! In that case, I should be the one taking you out, big sis!”

“Huh? But you don’t have any money, do you? I’m the breadwinner here. Well, anyway, don’t worry about that. Right now you’re just a cute girl, so just leave everything to Big Sis Karina and enjoy.” I hit my own chest with pride, causing it to jiggle. Ooh, looks like Dia’s eyes immediately went to my breasts. Well, he is a guy, after all! Heh heh heh!

Oh, here comes another guy now. “E-Excuse me, miss, if you’re free, could I invite you to tea? I want to talk to you...”

“Look, Dia, look! It’s just like I said—someone came to hit on you!”

“Er, no, I was actually talking to you, miss.” His gaze was fixed firmly on my chest. Oh, right. Come to think of it, I was also a beautiful girl. When you were in the presence of someone as stunning as Dia, you tended to forget these things.

Dia got between me and the man trying to hit on me. “N-No, you can’t! Right now, she’s on a date with me!” He glared at the man, but it really just ended up looking more cute than intimidating, like he was turning up his eyes at him.

I snickered. “Hey, playboy, what do you think about this girl? Isn’t she super cute?”

“Huh? W-Well, yeah, she is. She’s really cute, actually.”

You’ve got good taste, sir. “Today’s no good, since I’m on a date with her right now, but I suppose I could at least get tea with you if you ask me some other day. Only if I’m free, though.”

“R-Really? All right, that’s a promise! See you later!” The man beamed, waved goodbye...and then moved on to call out to his next target. Er, well, I guess he’s proactive, at least. Much more so than I was in my former life. If I’d been more like him, I wonder how much differently that life would have turned out? Well, no use thinking about it now. The past is the past, after all.

“See? That guy said you were really cute!”

“Y-You can’t let yourself get picked up by guys like that, Big Sis Karina! Y-You’re too cute for that!”

“Huh? That’s what you’re worried about? You’re cuter than I am, kid!”

Also, I wasn’t cute, I was a beauty. I’m an adult woman, so there’s a big difference.

As I walked around town, more or less showing Dia off to all the passersby, I realized we’d come near the public bathhouse. “Come to think of it, why don’t we get you all cleaned up before you meet your sister?”

“That’s a good idea. I’ve got to remember to use cleansing magic when I get back.”

“Oh, no, sorry. That’s not allowed—the Goddess said so. Especially where socks are concerned.”

“Er... Really?”

Really. I’ve got to have you wear those socks of yours as long as possible, then I’ll take them from you and deliver them! “I’ve got a better idea. Let’s go to the public bath!” I pulled him toward the building.

But Dia resisted. “B-But I’m dressed like this...”

“Then just use the women’s bath with me! I don’t mind.”

“W-Well, I do! And if there are other women in there, they’re definitely gonna notice I’m a guy!”

Well, he had a point there. If he covered his crotch somehow, it might be all right...and even if he did get found out, I supposed I could just cover it up by saying I was his mom or something, but Dia was indeed a gentleman. A tiny one, and one who looked good in girls’ clothing, but a gentleman nonetheless.

“Well, I guess there’s nothing for it, then. Head to the men’s bath.”

“Th-Then I’ll go back and change first...”

“Why? You’ll be naked in the bath anyway, so what’s the point? It’d be a waste of time to go back and change clothes, wouldn’t it?” He didn’t need to know that I could bring his clothes to him in an instant with my spatial magic.

“Mmmrgh... F-Fine. Right, if I’m taking my clothes off anyway, it won’t matter, will it?”

“That’s right! See, there’s no problem. Now then, I’m heading to the women’s bath, so when you’re done, just wait for me outside.” I pulled Dia over to the Japanese-looking bathhouse, and this time, he didn’t resist.

Immediately upon entering, I paid the fee for two to the man or woman who was either awake or asleep, then bought us each some soap. I had my own towel already, so I bought an extra one for Dia too.

“Well, see you later!”

“Right... See you later.”

I went to the women’s bath, and Dia went to the men’s. Oh, the women are all here again! Been a few days, hasn’t it? Did they all know Maria’s true identity? And if so, why hadn’t they told me? Meeting her at the castle like that had really surprised me!

Hmm? Is it just me, or is my skin glossier than the last time I was here? Well, maybe it was because it’d been supplemented with the nutrient of having a femboy nearby. Ha ha. Still, no hot girls here this time either? What a shame. Meanwhile, I thought I could hear cries like “A-A female molester?!” “No, it’s just a cute elf girl!” “You’ve got it wrong! I-I’m a boy!” coming from the adjacent bath, but I decided it was probably just my imagination.

Once Dia and I were out of the bath and squeaky-clean, we returned to base. Aishia was already back too.

“Aishia, I’m home!”

“We’re back,” Dia mumbled.

“Welcome home, master. Welcome back, Dia.” Her nose twitched. “Oh, did you two visit the public bath? You both smell lovely!” She grinned.

Er... Come to think of it, Aishia hadn’t gone to the bath yet at all, huh? I should probably make a bath here at base my next priority. That said, I didn’t particularly mind the smell of unwashed girls; rather, I kinda liked it. It was probably because the Goddess made me that way, but for some reason, I got all hot and bothered when I smelled anything stinky.

“By the way, master, how about making a room for Dia to sleep in?”

“A room for Dia, huh...” Right, at present, Dia didn’t have anywhere to sleep. That was why he’d fallen asleep in my arms in the living room yesterday. “All right, sounds good. I’ll make him a room. There, done. Here, Dia, it’s just through this door. Where do you want me to put it?” I showed him the door. Just like my room, it was a separate closed space he could enter just by passing through the door.

“By the way, that door over there leads to my room, and the one across from it is Aishia’s. Where do you want yours?”

“E-Er... Next to yours. I’ll feel safe if I’m next to you...”

Aw, how cute! I did as he requested and set his door next to mine. “As for your bed and other furnishings, we’ll use the stuff from the pirates’ office...there!” I moved the bed from the office building to Dia’s space. Ew, it stinks. I know I said I liked stinky things before, but let me rephrase that. I only like the stink of girls’ bodies. Anything else is a no-go.

“Master, these sheets seem to be covered with mysterious stains.”

“...Right, let’s clean those before using them, shall we?” All of a sudden, I felt like I needed to create a water system for my base as well. Separate from the bath, of course.

“E-Er, big sis, thank you...but how did you do that just now?”

“With magic, of course. Pretty impressive, right?”

“Yes, big sis! It’s not just impressive, it’s incredible!”

Heh heh. Good answer, little Dia. You already knew that the quickest way to a beautiful woman’s heart was to flatter her. Now I felt like I needed to show him something even more amazing! And...presto! There, now we had an ocean right next to the living room!

“M-Master?! What in the world did you just do?!”

“I mean, isn’t it obvious? It’s the ocean.” I’d just popped out of base for a bit, cut the ocean out, and stored a copy in my base, that’s all. Now we had an ocean view. The waves got a little intense when I did it, but none of the ships in the sea got caught in it, so no harm done.

“Well, I can tell that much... Oh, never mind! I’m sure there’s some profound significance to this that the likes of me can’t possibly comprehend!”

“Wow, big sis! Amazing! But why the ocean?”

Sorry to disappoint, you two. It was just the first impressive thing I could think of. There was no meaning behind it at all. I just thought it would surprise them both.

“Are you going to wash the bed off in the sea, maybe?” Dia asked eagerly.

“The seawater would make the bed all sticky and uncomfortable, wouldn’t it?” I asked.

“Perhaps she wants to use the salt in the seawater as a disinfectant!” Aishia guessed.

Er... You mean like using my magic to separate the salt from the water and make chlorine with it or something? If I were going to do all that, it’d be easier to just buy normal salt, or actually, buy a new bed altogether. Come to think of it, did merchants need a separate license to buy and sell salt, like they did with liquor?

“At any rate, I’ll try washing your bed for you, Dia!” Aishia exclaimed.

“O-Oh, yeah. Thanks. I appreciate it, Miss Aishia.”

“And if it gets all sticky and gross in the process, I’ll take care of it, so don’t worry,” I offered.

We washed the bed in the ocean water. It got sticky and gross, just like I’d expected, but with a combination of spatial magic and cleansing magic afterward, it was good as new.

Dia slept on his new bed that night. The next day, I decided I’d try my hand at a little alchemy to kill time. We were to meet Dia’s sister tomorrow, but today, my schedule was completely open.

“Oh? What’s that book you’ve got there, big sis?” Dia asked, noticing me in the living room as I was reading.

“This? An instructional book on alchemy.” It was the book I’d bought from the magic item shop along with the lube for Harumikazuchi. By the way, it had been published in the Kingdom of Alchemy. In other words, it’ll probably go for a pretty high premium in the future. “Want to read it too?”

“Yes, please!”

I handed one side of the book to Dia, and we began reading together. Diagrams of various magic circles were included on the pages, allowing one to move objects and cause different phenomena, among other things. You inscribed them onto the target using ink made from melted-down magic stones, apparently.

“By the way, there’s something specific I have in mind that I want to make.”

“What would that be?”

A massager, of course! I planned to make a vibrating sphere, stick it on the end of a rod, then create a switch to go on the rod’s surface, and it’d be complete. But it seemed like I’d need some special magic stone ink to draw the magic circle with.

“I guess I’ve gotta go buy some ink first...”

“No, look. It says right here on the page how you can make the ink yourself. You just need some regular ink and some magic stones. It seems pretty easy, and if I remember correctly, I think I saw some ink in the pirates’ base. They probably had magic stones too, since they’d need them to move that golem around.”

“Oh! You’re a genius, Dia! Not only are you adorable, you’re like a fount of wisdom!” And I already had magic stones from when I’d taken care of those goblins in the forest, so I didn’t need to worry about that part! I rubbed Dia’s head affectionately. His silver hair felt so good to touch... So his hair was also just as maintained as a beautiful girl’s, huh? Wow, you really are something else, Dia.

Anyway, now that I knew I had the materials already available, I used spatial magic to bring the ink to me. I also took out the magic stones I had in storage. Though, the stones were one thing, but I didn’t really get this ink through honest means, did I? That meant, on Karina the merchant’s code, I couldn’t really sell these items in good faith. In order to keep my identities as Karina the all-powerful mage and Karina the merchant separate, I had to play this game with self-imposed restrictions. But since the completed item would count as an item I made myself, I could still use it for my own purposes!

First things first, though, I needed to make the magic ink. “Hmm, let’s see... Grind the magic stone into a fine powder, then mix a little bit into the ink... That’s all? The ratio should be a fingernail’s worth of powder to one jar of ink. Like this?” I crushed one of the goblins’ magic stones into powder with spatial magic, then evenly distributed the powder by dragging and dropping the proper amount into the ink. Done! The ink was turning blue, so that probably meant I did it right.

“It says here it’s supposed to take a day to make this ink, but...you did it already, huh?”

“Ha ha ha! I’m just that amazing!”

More like I’d already learned to do that much by the time I’d finished the Goddess’s tutorial.

Now it was time to try and use the “vibration” magic circle. It looked incredibly complex and, if I was being honest, a chore to draw. Hmm, looks like the longer I extend this line out, the more intense the vibration. And the vibration gets faster the larger I draw this circle here. I see. Oh, there’s a note here from that shopkeeper. “For more complex magic circles like these, it’s easier to make a wrong mark or spill the ink somewhere you don’t want it, so be especially careful.” You don’t say.

Well, in that case, why don’t I just print this magic circle onto a price of tree bark or something, then copy and paste it onto whatever I want? Secret Technique: Inkjet Printer, Spatial Magic Edition (I can just make minute adjustments to the circle as needed)! And I can also use my magic to dry the ink instantly! All right, magic circle complete!

“D-Did you make a magic circle appear by just touching it with your hand just now?!” Dia asked, incredulous.

“Ha ha ha! I’m just that amazing!”

Well, it was certainly an easier procedure than copying limbs and connecting capillary vessels and nerves. Now I just needed to embed an appropriately sized magic stone as a power source, and... Yes! It vibrated!

“Eureka! I did it, Dia! Look! Look at it go!”

“I had no idea magecraft was such a simple process,” he said.

“Oho, well, that’s just because of the magic I have at my disposal. Oh, right, I need to make a switch next, or it’s just gonna keep vibrating indefinitely? Hmm.” Let’s see... So by using something called a magic wire—though it sounds like it functions like a copper wire to me—I can connect magic circles to one another like parts in a machine. That’s how I can make a switch, apparently. And I doubted I’d be so lucky that there’d be any magic wire in the pirates’ office. Still, it was more similar to electrical engineering than I’d expected! Sounds like it’ll be fun!

“So this was what you wanted to make, big sis?”

“This is just the base. I’m going to change the shape a little and put a switch on it next, but essentially, yes. Oh, come to think of it, that one I bought from the magic item shopkeeper had a switch, didn’t it? I wonder if I could use that?” This was just for experimental purposes and not for selling, so I could copy the switch and it’d be fine! I copied the switch and the magic wires already hooked up inside the spherical device I’d bought, then placed them onto my creation... Ta-da! A wooden massage device! Not powered by electricity either, but by magic! I’ll call it the Ma-Massager. “Ma” for “magic”... Nah, that’s a little hard to say, so we’ll just call it the Electro-Massager, for convenience’s sake.

“It’s done! Behold, the Electro-Massager!”

“It looked like you rounded out and whittled down some wood in a jiffy just now... Was that your magic?”

“Sure was! Pretty impressive, right?” Looks like I can add a page titled “alchemy” to my record of things I’ve used spatial magic to accomplish! “By the way, this is just an electric massager. In no way is it some adults-only tool.”

“What do you mean?” Dia titled his head, looking clueless.

That’s right, this was an entirely wholesome item. If someone wanted to use it for something outside its intended purpose, that was their own decision, but not what it was designed for. Please understand.

“All right, let’s give it a test-drive.” I held the device to my shoulder. “Aaah, yeeep, feeeels gooood theeere.”

“Oh, so that’s how you use it?” Dia looked interested.

“Yeeeah, it feeels reeeally goood!” Maybe my shoulders had gotten stiff from carrying around these huge breasts all the time. I supposed I could start using spatial magic to lift them up and unburden my shoulders, but it was too much trouble. I would just use this to massage them like a normal person.

“Phew. Yeah, this Electro-Massager is gonna sell like hotcakes, I think. Well? What do you think?”

“Just from observing, it seems incredibly simple to manufacture. That means it’ll be easy for competitors to imitate. Or perhaps someone’s already come up with the idea somewhere.”

“Well, they came up with a golem already, so it’s entirely possible.” Oh, right—what was that golem, anyway? It was a magic item, right? I used my spatial magic to scan the golem I’d gotten from Gomez.

Hmm. Yeah, it was just like I’d thought. If a golem was like the latest cutting-edge automobile, the Electro-Massager was like connecting a small light bulb to a battery! It sounded like the sky was the limit with magecraft...but with enough effort, I thought I could do it. Did this mean I’d learned the magecraft skill now? Wow, I really was a genius! That was all thanks to the Goddess, though.

“Dia, you want to try making one too? That said, we don’t have the right tools, so you’d probably just be drawing a magic circle on parchment. Then I’d print it on the wood.”

“Yeah! I wanna try it!”

“Great answer! We’ve got plenty of parchment, ink, and pens from the pirates’ office, so go nuts.” We were using them just to play around, so it was A-okay to copy them! And even if I ran out of mana, I could just recover it by resting!

And so, we engrossed ourselves in magecraft without even really paying attention to how much time had passed. Partway through, Aishia came in suggesting it might be better to make a designated workshop area—translation: “You’re making a mess of the living room.” Honestly, it was a good suggestion, considering all the wood chips and shavings we were littering the floor with. Sorry, Aishia.

＊ ＊ ＊

While Aishia prepared breakfast, we stayed in our new magecraft workshop and made magic items.

“Hey, big sis, how about we make this one next?!”

“Ooh, what’s that? Was that one out of the book?”

“I combined several magic circles to make a new arrangement! Now it’ll make light rotate on top of the circle!”

“Wow! You’re a genius! Then let’s put some mana into it right away! Oh... It didn’t move.”

“Aah! Sorry, I accidentally made an extra connecting line... Guess it’s a failure.”

“No, if that’s all it is, we’ll just erase that line. There we go, and... It’s moving now! The light’s rotating around, just like you said!”

“Hooray!” Thrilled with the success of our experiment, we hugged each other. Dia parted from me immediately afterward, all red-faced. “S-Sorry, big sis, I just got caught up in the moment!”

It’s okay, Dia! You’re just so adorable!

“But you know, just having the light rotate on top isn’t very practical,” he said.

“No, no! Using this as a base, you could make something like a clock, right? And we can adjust the speed of the light’s rotation as well.”

“I see. But we don’t have enough magic stones to make a clock...”

As we were both pondering to ourselves, Aishia came over. “I apologize for intruding, but do you both have a moment?”

“Sure, what’s up?”

“Well... Have you checked the time? It’s already noon.”

And? Why does that matter? “Oh, right, I guess we should probably eat some lunch, huh? Sorry, looks like we ended up pulling an all-nighter.”

“No, that’s not the issue. Didn’t you have some business outside today? When were you planning to leave?”

At that moment, Dia let out a cry of realization. “Oh! Big sis, that’s right! We’re supposed to meet my sister today!”

“Huh?! Oh crap, I completely forgot!” I took a peek outside my base, only to find that it was already past noon out in the real world. I’d been so preoccupied with magecraft that it’d completely slipped my mind! I’d wanted to let Dia see his sister as soon as possible, and here it was, already past noon!

Er, let’s see... We didn’t settle on a scheduled time or anything, so if we go now, we’ll probably make it...right?

“Usually meetings like these are between very important people, so I’m sure they won’t mind because you’re you, master.”

“Er, I’m just a commoner, and she’s the current lord’s mom! There couldn’t be a bigger status gap!”

“Hm? But she’s a human, and you’re you, right?”

You really think I’m some superior divine being, don’t you, Aishia?

“A-Anyway, let’s go, Dia! Your sister’s probably already there waiting!”

“R-Right! Wait, big sis, you’ve got ink on your face!”

“You do too! And it’s all over your hands! Wait, I’ll cast an ink removal spell!” It was the same spatial magic I’d been casting all night long to draw and erase lines of ink. I just needed to target only the ink, erase it...and there! Ha ha! There we go, clean faces!

“Now we’re all set! Hold down the fort, Aishia. Come on, Dia, let’s go!”

“Right behind you!” He took my outstretched hand.

While I camouflaged us both from sight, we appeared in front of the castle entrance. See, Miss Maria? I came in from the entrance this time, just like you asked!

“Sorry I’m late! I’m the one who has an appointment with Miss Maria—er, I mean, the former territory lord’s wife!”

“Huh? What the hell are you talking about— Oh! M-My apologies, I did indeed hear that we were expecting you. I’ll call for a guide right away!”

“Thanks a bunch.” Phew... It looked like we made it in time after all, and it sounded like Maria had let the guards know I’d be coming too.

“That’s a relief,” Dia said with a sigh. “I was afraid I’d kept my sister waiting!”

“Well, we were just having so much fun we forgot, that’s all.”

We laughed in unison. Of course, Dia’s sister probably wouldn’t have found it as funny, but we were here now, so it was fine. Rather, if Aishia hadn’t alerted us, we might have kept experimenting all through tonight too... You’re a lifesaver, Aishia!

“By the way, I thought of another idea I wanted to try...” Dia said.

“Oh, you too? Yeah, there’s this magic circle I found from analyzing the golem that I want to test...”

As we continued to discuss future experiments, one of my friends from the bath came over to guide us. “Miss Kari!” said the old lady. “We were starting to think you weren’t going to show up!”

“Aha, sorry about that. We were playing around a little and pulled an all-nighter accidentally, and we just now remembered we had to be here. But now we are, and we’re ready to meet Dia’s sister!”

“Honestly, having fun is all well and good, but there’s such a thing as moderation, you know? Oh, this child... Is she an elf? Well, if she’s with you, Kari, I have no reason not to let her stay. Now then, follow me.”

The woman led us through the castle. Wait, huh? Wasn’t Dia supposed to be the guest of honor today instead of me? I looked back at him...then realized he was still wearing his dress. In other words, the lady probably hadn’t realized this was Dia. Did Dia also forget he was wearing it, perhaps? Before coming here, I’d planned to forcefully remove those socks from him to flare up his embarrassment one last time, ensuring a perfect sock delivery, but...it was more amusing this way, so I just kept my mouth shut! (I’d also forgotten, since we’d pulled an all-nighter and all.)

“Still, to think Maria from the bath was such an important figure,” I mused. “Perhaps we ought to thank the heavens for this chance meeting!”

“The same goes for us,” the lady said. “We never would have imagined you were such a renowned, impressive mage, Miss Kari. Where did you study such powerful magic?”

“Er... Well, you know, over there.” I pointed in a random direction.

As we made small talk, we headed to Maria’s quarters, which were detached from the main castle. It was the same building I’d infiltrated the other day. This place really is huge. I’d teleported in from the roof the other day, so I hadn’t realized how many rooms there were.

After walking for around ten minutes, we finally made it to the reception room. “We’re here. Now then, from here I’ll be going into work mode,” the old lady said.

“Oh, gotcha. Do you want me to address her formally as well?”

“You don’t need to. You’re Maria’s friend, and her honored guest. Lady Mariantine, I’ve brought your guest.”

Wow, her voice really did get more gentle. Like a mom answering the phone. The door opened.

There was a silver-haired elf inside. She was beautiful—like how Dia might look when he grew up—and wearing green clothing, like Dia had been wearing when I’d first met him. In no way did she look like a slave. In fact, she looked like she’d been treated completely normally.

When Dia saw her, he squeezed my hand one time, then let go and took a step forward. With a tense expression, he faced his sister, put his hand on his chest, and bowed.

“Big sister, hello. I’m so glad that you’re safe.”

“Huh?” A beat later, his sister reacted. “Wha?! Dee?! Dee, is that you?! Why are you wearing such cute clothes?!”

“What? O-Oh, well...” That must have finally made his outfit register, because his ears went red up to their tips, and he froze completely. I poked his cheek to get him moving again. Wow, soft.

Meanwhile, Miss Maria, dressed in her formal attire, addressed me with a bewildered look on her face. “Wait, Miss Kari, what’s the meaning of this?”

“O-Oh, well, it looks cute on him, doesn’t it?”

“Well, it’s true that I didn’t even realize he was a boy, at least.”

“Indeed, he looks no different from a young girl!” his sister said, surprised. “Wait, don’t tell me... Dee’s even cuter than I am? What a shock! To think that a possibility like this existed outside our country!” Her eyes sparkled with wonderment as she looked at Dia. She could clearly see the potential. Dia, meanwhile, had tears welling up in his eyes as he vehemently shook his head in denial. Man, he’s dangerously cute. That’s right, go on and charge those socks up with shame for me.

“Ah, where are my manners? I should introduce myself. My name is Cumin. Thank you so much for rescuing my little brother, miss...?”

“Don’t mention it. My name’s Karina. I must say, you have one incredibly cute little sister, Cumin. And you’re also very pretty.”

“S-Sister?! I’m a boy!” Dia protested, yapping like a cute puppy as Cumin and I exchanged introductions.

“Now, Dee, mind explaining to your sister why you’re wearing such an adorable outfit?”

“W-Well, that is to say...er... Big Sis Karina, help me out here!” He buried his face in his hands and crouched down. As I thought, he was embarrassed to show his cross-dressing to someone who already knew him. All right, now it was time for me to deliver the perfect explanation.

“Well, let’s see... This was ultimately the result of you choosing the outfit that suited you best, right? You’re even wearing girls’ underwear, and your socks look super cute on you too, right? You should already know how cute you are by now!”

“C-Cute... Er, big sis?! I get the feeling you left something very important out of that explanation! I-It’s not what it looks like, dear sister! Big Sis Karina told me that if I wore this outfit, she’d rescue you!”

Dia made excuses to his sister with tears in his eyes. Ah, it did my heart good to bear witness to such cuteness.

Miss Maria spoke up all of a sudden. “Come to think of it, I did hear the other day about a molester entering the men’s bath who looked like an elf... But don’t tell me...”

“Oh, right, that did happen the other day, didn’t it? See, Dia? That’s why I said you should have just gone to the women’s bath instead!”

“That’s not what happened at all, big sis! Um, dear sister, please believe me! I’m not some female molester—er, I mean, I’m not even female! I’m a boy!”

Ah, how adorable. Looking at Dia gave me a sensation like someone was pouring water over my brain to soothe it. It was the sort of nutrient you could only get from a boy who was all red-faced after cross-dressing for the first time.

Just as tears were about to leak from his eyes once more, however, Miss Maria clapped her hands together. “Ah, well, as far as disguises go, I’d say it’s pretty top-notch, wouldn’t you say?”

I supposed she was trying to wrap this all up by explaining to Dia’s sister that this was all for disguise purposes. Not a bad cover-up! I guess her title wasn’t just for decoration!

“A-Ah, I see, a disguise! That’s why you’re dressed as a girl, then, Dia?”

“Y-Yes, that’s right. I had to hide myself somehow, and this was the only way... Isn’t that right, Big Sis Karina?”

Well, I suppose that’s enough teasing him for now. If I went any further, I’d just be a bully, so I figured I’d let him off the hook. “That’s right. Though I personally like him better like this, you can change clothes now if you want, Dia. Here are your old clothes back.”

“Oh? Th-Thank you, big sis!”

I handed him the clothes he’d been wearing when I’d first found him—except for the socks, which I’d secretly swapped out for a new pair. Now I could deliver the pairs of socks that Dia was wearing before and after he’d cross-dressed!

“All right, I’m going to change!” Dia announced, and he was about to leave the room—when I stopped him.

“Why do you need to leave the room? If you’re a boy, there’d be nothing embarrassing about changing right here, right?”

“N-No, it’d be pretty embarrassing...”

“Oh yeah? But I thought you were a boy.”

“W-Well, I mean, everyone else here is a woman, right? Of course it’d be embarrassing to change in front of them.”

Tch. It was a fair argument, so I couldn’t contest it. “Well, can you at least give those socks back to me first?”

“Yeah, I can do that much.” He started to take the socks off. However, they were black kneesocks that went all the way up to his thighs. He would need to lift his skirt up to pull them down— Yes! Now’s my chance!

“You know you’re about to show your underwear to your sister right now, right, Dia?” I remarked.

“Whaaa?!” He instantly held his skirt down on reflex. His face went tomato-red once again, and he trembled like gelatin. Cute!

“Oh? What’s wrong? The way you were all embarrassed to show what was underneath your skirt was a lot like how a girl would react. Now, keep going.”

“Urgh... You’re so mean, big sis...” Yes! He got embarrassed, just like I’d aimed for! Dia took his socks off—this time taking special care to not show his underwear. Then he walked toward the door to the next room over with his change of clothes in hand.

I immediately took the freshly removed kneesocks and placed them in my space of holding for safekeeping. Yes! I was finally able to harvest the fruit I’d taken great pains to grow all this time! Well, Goddess? You were watching, right? What do you think?

Excellent job, my disciple! For the before-and-after set of cross-dressing socks, I’ll award you 100 SP! And since you’ve been such a good sport, I’ll give you a bonus voucher for three times that amount—300 SP! Whew, I can’t wait for the delivery!

Oh, it seemed like the Goddess sent me a message in my head. Then I wasn’t wrong in nurturing Dia’s socks! Thanks a bunch, Dia, I couldn’t have done it without you!

“Er, Cumin, what was that we just witnessed?” Maria mumbled, looking astonished.

“I’m not so sure myself, but there’s no doubt that Dee is incredibly cute!” she said with a grin. Grinning like that while her younger brother’s subjected to extreme humiliation... Looks like I’ll get along with this girl just fine!

By the way, I looked around since the Goddess was so easily able to speak to me in my head, and sure enough, there was a small home shrine in the reception room. For nobles and merchants alike, apparently having a shrine in the parlors of their homes was standard. During the course of negotiations and business discussions, it was common to swear oaths on the gods’ names, as it was less coercive than casting contract spells. I wonder how many of them know that by doing so, they’re calling for the Goddess to peek in on their every move?

“All right, I’m gonna change now...” Dia announced, his hand on the door.

“Oh, I’ll come help you!” Cumin said.

“W-Wait, dear sister! You don’t need to help me! I can change on my own!”

“Oh, don’t be so difficult. Plus, I need to talk to you about our plans from here on.”

“Uuu...” With no rebuttal, Dia and Cumin headed to the next room over. Now his sister’s going to see that he’s wearing girls’ underwear... Good luck, Dia! You’re gonna need it!

With the two elves having moved to the other room, it was just me and Miss Maria in the parlor now.

“Dia’s sister is a real beauty, huh?” I said with a sigh. “I think I’m in love.”

“What, do you dislike men or something?”

“I won’t say I dislike them, but while joining a man’s party temporarily is one thing, having one constantly close by and having to smell that man sweat? No thanks.”

“I see, so that’s why you had that child wear girls’ clothing.”

Well, that’s one reason, sure. Mostly I just wanted to spice his socks up with shame, though.

“At any rate,” Maria said, “while he’s not in the room, let’s move to a more macabre discussion—namely, how we’re going to deal with the pirates in our custody.”

“Oh, right. You said before that the majority will be sent to work in the mines, right?”

“Right. Sentenced to around forty years, I’m thinking.”

According to Maria, illegally interfering with trading ships from other nations was an extremely serious offense. And working in the mines as punishment was apparently so hellish that it was tantamount to issuing the death penalty.

“And you also mentioned Gomez would be executed, right?” I asked.

“Yes. His comrades fessed up and told us everything, after all. Murdering a member of his own crew, and arson on top of that... He’s beyond defense.” She went on to say that the news of Gomez’s execution would surely reach Captain Maririn as well. Probably a couple of days afterward, she guessed.

“And what will Captain Maririn’s punishment be?”

“Well, let’s see. We won’t really know the full extent of her crimes until we interrogate her, but thirty years in the mines, at the very least. Considering her responsibility for her crew as captain, it’ll probably be more. Still, I doubt it’ll matter much in her case, since she’ll probably live through it all,” she said with a sigh.

“You think?”

“She might look that young, but in reality she’s only three years younger than me. Since she’s already survived this long, I have a feeling she’ll easily make it another thirty years or so, easy.”

“R-Really?!” What a shock! What was she, a witch?! I thought she was a pirate!

“By the way, Miss Kari,” Maria said, changing the subject, “do you happen to know the reason the Kingdom of Alchemy fell?”

“Huh? N-No, why would I know some trivial little detail like that?”

Excuse me? Are you by chance calling my handiwork trivial, dear Karina?

“Well, maybe it’s not trivial,” I continued, “but I still have no idea why it happened. Maybe it was just the will of the gods.” Could you not butt into my conversations like that, Goddess?

“I see. Well, if only we knew what the gods were thinking, perhaps it’d make it easier to determine whether it’d be okay to occupy its former territory.”

“I think you’d be fine there. As long as another God of Destruction doesn’t appear, that is.”

“Hmm?”

“If you’re that curious, go to the church and pray to the Goddess for answers. I don’t have any for you.”

“Oh, okay. I might just do that.”

As our leisurely conversation continued, Dia and Cumin came back into the room. Dia’s face was beet red, so his sister had definitely seen his underwear while he’d been changing. Still, even though he was wearing boys’ clothes now, I couldn’t see him as anything but a girl cross-dressing as a boy. Maybe that was just because I’d seen him dressed as a girl for so long, though.

“Yeah, I really think I liked that dress on you better,” I said.

“R-Really?”

“And are you really okay exposing those cute thighs of yours? They’re blinding me with their radiance.” He was wearing shorts, so his thighs were completely visible. In response, he whimpered and fidgeted.

“Hey, Dia... Could it be that you’re actually a girl and have just been hiding it all this time?”

“Of course not!”

No, huh? And yet you’re always behaving exactly like a cute girl would. Rather, just looking at Dia, I feel like I’m losing my own self-confidence as a woman...

“Oh, right—about the cargo I stole back from the pirates. Where do you want me to drop it?”

“Huh? You’re giving it all back?” Cumin said, looking surprised.

“Of course I am. I mean, you want it back, right? It was yours and Dia’s originally, wasn’t it?”

“You saved my brother, and now you’re returning our belongings to us?! How can I ever repay you, miss? Oh, perhaps I should offer you Dee? You two already seem to get along so well,” she said cheerfully, pushing Dia forward by his shoulders.

“D-Dear sister?!”

“You’re not entirely against the idea either, are you, Dee?”

“Well, n-no, I suppose not...” Dia fidgeted with his hands. Ugh, he’s so adorable... Wait, he’s not against the idea? Are you sure about that, Dia? I might seriously come to like you, you know. Therefore, I’m just going to refuse! I feel like if I accept, I might end up crossing a line I shouldn’t!

“That aside, if you really want to reward me, Cumin, I’ll take your socks.”

“Excuse me? I’m not sure I understand.” She tilted her head in puzzlement, as was to be expected.

“I want you to give me the socks you’re currently wearing. I collect them. For...reasons.”

“Come to think of it, you stored Dia’s socks somewhere too, didn’t you? Then I’ll prepare a fresh pair of the ones I’m wearing now.”

“No, that’s not what I mean! I want the socks you currently have on. If they’re not already worn, there’s no point! You asked how you could repay me, and this is what would help me out the most!” I lowered my head and asked her sincerely.

“W-Well, I don’t particularly mind, but...”

“Don’t worry, I’ve got an extra pair you can wear as a replacement.”

“You’re certainly prepared, aren’t you?” she said with a smile. Well, yeah, I’ve still got a bunch more pairs from the church, after all. “Then I’ll take them off for you... By the way, what happens to the socks you collect?”

“They get eaten, I guess? Not really sure.”

“Eaten?!” As she was about to pull her first sock off, Cumin’s hands froze. “What do you mean, eaten? And if you’re not really sure, then are you collecting them for someone else?” Uh-oh, her cheeks were slightly red. I see, so it was one thing if it was another girl collecting her socks, but it was way more embarrassing to her if they were going to some stranger to get eaten!

“Yes, my superior really finds socks to be a delicacy.”

“Your superior?! Miss Karina, what type of person is this superior you speak of?”

“No comment on that.” The Goddess was a complete pervert, of course, but if Cumin knew that my superior had the appearance of a cute young girl, she might feel less shame. Best to keep that a secret.

“Ugh...” In order to show how grateful she was, Cumin steeled herself and took her socks off, then carefully folded them. From that alone, I could tell she had a good upbringing—excellent. “Here you go, Miss Karina.”

“Heh heh... Thanks a bunch, princess!” I said, kneeling like I was a knight receiving a treasured sword. “I’ll make sure these get delivered safely.” In the meantime, Maria looked on, appearing extremely conflicted.

“Now I think I’m starting to understand Dee’s feelings a little,” Cumin said with a whimper.

“I understand how you felt just now too,” Dia commented. Well, at least the elf siblings were getting along, and that was all that mattered. I placed the socks in storage.

Once Cumin had changed into a new pair of socks, she cleared her throat as though to change the subject. “Now then, was there anything else you wanted? Surely a mere pair of socks isn’t enough thanks for all you’ve done. I really think my younger brother would be an appropriate gift for you.”

Mmgh... She was recommending I take Dia again. True, his cuteness soothed my soul, but...were the siblings competing for the family fortune or something? Was that why she was so eager to pawn off her brother?

“Hmm... Well, I appreciate the offer, but I just don’t know. What do you think, Miss Maria?”

“Well, why don’t you just take him as your husband? Seems to me that you’re already responsible for him in a number of ways.”

“Urgh.” Come to think of it, she was right. If he hadn’t met me and had grown up to be a handsome adult man, the girls would have no doubt been flocking all over him. He would have lived a life of popularity and prosperity. And since I’d turned him into a cross-dresser, I ought to take responsibility for that. In other words, I had to find him a bride who didn’t mind that he was a femboy. Was there even someone like that in this world? Well, there probably was, if I looked hard enough. I mean, I’d better, because if I didn’t find him one, I would have to be his bride, right? Nope, not gonna happen. He’s a child, first and foremost.

“B-Big Sis Karina, may I say something?”

“Hmm? Sure, go ahead, Dia.”

“That important mission of yours... If I wouldn’t be too in the way, I’d like to help you with it. I want to be by your side. Is that too much to ask? I-I’ll even keep dressing as a girl if it’ll make you say yes!”

Important mission? I suppose he means the socks? Well, it was true that Dia’s socks had gotten a rousing reception from the Goddess. If I had him with me, I could offer more of his socks on a regular basis. Naturally, I’d space out his sock deliveries enough to where the Goddess wouldn’t get sick of them. Also, Dia and I could have fun working together on magecraft projects. And most importantly, having his cuteness so close by would be like an oasis for my soul! Plus, let’s not forget I’ve already made him a room in my base!

“All right, Dia, if you’re willing to go that far, then you can be a member of my party!”

“R-Really?! Thank you so much! I’ll do all I can to assist in saving the world!”

Huh? The world? Oh, crap. Come to think of it, I did tell Dia that I was some great mage tasked with the noble goal of saving the world, didn’t I? I was just trying to sound like a big deal at the time...but, well, it wasn’t really a lie either, so whatever.

“Oh? This is the first I’ve heard about you saving the world, Miss Kari. Might I hear the details?” Maria asked, putting her hand on my shoulder.

“Yes, Miss Karina, I’m quite intrigued as well,” Cumin said with an earnest look.

Uh, well... “The truth is, according to my superior, right now the world’s in a bit of a deficit because there are too many sacred treasures. So my job is to recover as many as I can, otherwise the world will be destroyed in the next ten years, at the earliest.”

“Ten years...”

“Only ten years? Then we’re in serious trouble, aren’t we?” Cumin said. Perhaps ten years was an exceedingly short time for an elf, due to their long lifespans.

“I see...” Maria said. “That would explain why you wanted to destroy Maririn’s sacred treasures. I understand now.”

“To think you have such an important duty... In that case, we elves will also use our nation to support you in any way we can.”

“The kingdom of Pavelkant as well,” Maria declared. “By the way, Karina, I trust this is okay to report to the higher-ups?”

“Huh? I-I was just going to look for them at my own pace, though...”

“Well, that might be fine for you, but we don’t really want to get destroyed either, you know?”

“If the world’s going to end in only ten more years, of course we’d want to do all we could to stop it!” Cumin said.

Huh, I’d never thought of it like that before. Truthfully it wasn’t as big of a deal as I’d made it out to be, but if they were willing to help, it’d certainly lessen my own workload. So I chose not to tell them that the world wouldn’t actually fall apart as long as the Goddess decided not to abandon it. It would be more convenient for my cover as Karina the great mage too.

“Then to help out, you can both let me know if you ever hear anything about a sacred treasure. Oh, but how will you contact me? Let’s see... Any ideas, Dia?”

“Er... Can’t you just use your all-powerful magic to do something about it?”

“Yes, I suppose I could. All right, let’s go with that.” Considering I’d told him earlier that I wanted to keep my mage and merchant personas separate, it was a clever suggestion on his part. Indeed, right now I was supposed to be the great mage Karina, who could accomplish anything with her all-powerful spells! And Dia had picked up on it, making him cute and smart!

And so, I decided I’d make a mailbox that connected directly to my space of holding. People could place letters into the slot when they wanted to inform me of something, and I’d go to meet them afterward. I also included a compartment for me to put my replies to the senders in. I wanted it to be kind of like the Yokai Post from Gegege no Kitaro.

“Er, can I send letters to Dia through your post as well?” Cumin asked.

“Of course you can!” I replied. Now that he could communicate with his family whenever he felt like it, he wouldn’t get homesick! Rather, even if he did, I could just bring him to meet his sister any time he wanted.

In addition, Cumin told me that I was free to keep the girls’ outfit I’d had Dia wear. That was good for me, since it saved me the trouble of having to buy him one. And she also let me have the money the pirates had saved up in their office (most of it had been Cumin’s sales profits to begin with). I planned to use it for Dia’s living expenses. Oh, and to buy extra pairs of socks for him.

With Maria paying compensation to Cumin for her trouble and me getting the pirates’ money, though, Maria was the one who stood to lose out the most from this arrangement. And yet she was just letting it happen. She was being awfully generous...

“Well, if I let my selfishness get the best of me here, it could lead to even greater losses in the future. It’s a necessary expense if I want to keep the peace, understand?”

Right... Rather than risk a war and suffer more severe losses to her territory afterward, a monetary loss like this would be much more preferable, wouldn’t it?

“Oh, and Miss Kari, I’d really appreciate it if you entered the castle from the front from now on, like you did today.”

“Yeah, I will, don’t worry. Cumin, when you know a place you’d like me to drop your belongings, just send me a letter.”

“I will. I’m counting on you to take care of Dia as well. And Dia, stay happy and healthy. Work on honing your cuteness to its fullest!”

“Yes, dear sister, I will... Wait, what?”

And so, we waved goodbye and said farewell to Dia’s sister. If you ever want to come over and see him, Cumin, just say so!

“What are we going to do now, big sis?”

“For now, we’ll head back to base. I was thinking about making a secret weapon to use against Maririn.”

“A secret weapon...!” Dia’s eyes sparkled with excitement. Boys like you love things like that, don’t they? Trust me, I know.

Oh, but now that I think of it, I did pull an all-nighter yesterday. No wonder I feel so tired. I should probably get some sleep. Looks like Dia’s wobbling like he’s about to fall over too. “Maybe this is the pot calling the kettle black, but if you don’t go to bed at a reasonable hour, it won’t be good for your health.”

“Oh, right. I stayed up all night last night, didn’t I?”

“I’ve got an errand to run, so you go on ahead without me and rest. I’ll come back and sleep too, once I’m done.”

“Yaaawn...”

“Whoa now, are you all right? Don’t fall over on me! Hmm... Guess I’d better escort you there first, then.” Grabbing hold of Dia before he toppled over, I sent us both back to base. Now, I wonder what Aishia will say when she sees that Dia’s still with us!

“Welcome back, master! As I thought, it looks like Dia’s still accompanying you. I trust he’ll be a permanent resident from now on?”

“Quick on the uptake, aren’t you, Aishia? Yeah, you got it.” Huh? You already guessed it was going to turn out this way from the time I made Dia his own room? Y-You don’t say. Typical Aishia... You know me too well!

＊ ＊ ＊

And of course, the “errand” in question was the delivery to the Goddess. After greeting Siesta, I sat down on the church pew and began to pray.

“Oh, Goddess, I’ve come bearing gi—”

“AT LAST! YOU’RE FINALLY HEEERE!”

“Whoaaa!”

The Goddess flew at me with enough force to tackle me, knocking me backward. Even though I’d been sitting on the pew, the moment the Goddess embraced me, the sensation of a chair underneath me completely disappeared.

She pinned me to the ground and leaned over me like she was mounting me. “Now, the socks! Bring ’em out! Don’t make me wait any longer! I already can’t stop drooling as it is!”

“Yeah, yeah,” I said, shoving her off and getting to my feet. “Here you go.” I presented her with three pairs of socks: Dia’s before and after he’d cross-dressed, and Cumin’s.

The Goddess’s eyes twinkled with delight. “Oh! This is even better than I imagined! I already promised you 100 SP for the before-and-after set, but you got Cumin’s socks to go along with it too! It seems that you too understand the appeal of a threesome!”

“And you said you were going to give me a bonus, right?”

“Yes, of course! Truthfully, I only meant that I’d give three times the amount of Dia’s evaluation, but as a treat, I’ll let it apply for Cumin’s as well. Here’s your red ticket voucher, good for a 3x multiplier! Aren’t I generous? Go on, praise me!”

“’Preciate it, Goddess! No wonder you’re divine!”

After looking all smug and conceited for a while, the Goddess moved on to her evaluation. “Now then, first we’ll evaluate Dia’s socks from when he was a boy. Sniff, sniff... Hmm. I can definitely smell the confusion, surprise, and resolve from when you first asked him to cross-dress. And taking the length of time they were worn into account...20 SP. As for Cumin’s, these socks are barely worn. She probably had just gotten out of the bath and put them on before heading straight to the castle. And this shame and bewilderment I detect... She must have realized that your superior was a god. Though that in itself is pretty amusing, so I’ll take that into account in my evaluation. Mmm... 20 SP!”

Damn, the grading was harsh today. I thought I’d get a lot more than that for Cumin’s socks. Well, whatever. 20 times 2 was 40, and triple that was 120 SP so far.

“Now then, for the main dish—the femboy socks! Oh, the sweet-and-sour aroma of a boy getting bullied by his first love! 100 SP! I know I said you’d get 100 SP for the set, but there’s nothing saying I can’t award you more than that, right?! In fact, please let me reward you for such a fine offering!”

“Of course that’s fine. Thanks much!” Hell yeah! 100 SP was a perfect score! And three times that would be 300 SP! That brought it all to a total of 420 SP!

Still, was it just me, or did she just casually expose Dia’s first love? Man, to think his first crush turned out to be a guy in a woman’s body... I’m really sorry, Dia.

“And, there’s more where that came from, right?” the Goddess said expectantly.

“Huh? Oh, no, I was planning on getting the sacred treasures Poseidon and Shoggoth for you, but I haven’t managed it yet...”

“No, those are whatever. That’s not what I mean. You’ve got more, right? Like, from inside the pirate ship? Ring a bell?”

“...Oh, the bandages. Right, I should’ve known.”

“Ding ding ding! We have a winner! Oh, I can’t wait!”

So the socks (really, they were just nasty bandages) meant more to the Goddess than the sacred treasures. She really did have a one-track mind, huh? Though I guess since she can supply the world with energy, she probably just doesn’t see the destruction of the world as a huge issue. More to the point, thank goodness she actually recognized these gross bandages as socks.

“Yes, very good. I can definitely sense some shame in these as well, as well as the humiliation and despair from having their feet cut off and used like amenities by the pirates! That, coupled with their elation from you healing them—the flavor’s like a goya champuru! There’s nothing below the ankles, of course, but the bandages were left on more than long enough to count! 90 SP for the set of three!”

Wow! That was a bigger yield than I’d thought.

“Lucky for you that you took those bandages off right before you healed them! If your magic had touched their new feet, you would have lost most of those points right then and there!”

“Guh! That was a close call, then!” That’s right, I was one of her creations, meaning socks that had my “smell” on them automatically didn’t count. I needed to be more careful about that in the future. But satisfying her eccentric tastes was like traversing a minefield to begin with, so I really should be extra careful about anything regarding sock gathering from now on.

That brought the total of today’s offering up to 510 SP. I’d earned more points today then I would have gotten for delivering a single sacred treasure. But I now had 660 SP to use on whatever! My efforts were really adding up, huh? It made me feel pretty accomplished!

“Tee hee, I’m pretty happy too, you know? Now I’ve got plenty to satisfy myself with!”

I decided not to ask what she meant by that.

＊ ＊ ＊

Good morning! That’s right, it’s morning now. After finishing my errand and returning home, I ended up heading straight to bed. I’d only intended to take a little nap, but I ended up sleeping like a log until the next morning. And apparently, Dia had as well.

“If you two were that exhausted, perhaps you should have gone to bed at a more reasonable hour,” Aishia suggested.

“Well, we had fun, right?” I said. “So no regrets.”

“Plus, we didn’t know I was going to live with big sis then,” Dia added.

Huh, I got the feeling Dia’s excuse sounded a lot more reasonable than mine. That’s my boy! Clever as always!

More importantly, though, it was time to make a secret weapon! I headed to the workshop with Dia. By the way, he was currently wearing his work clothes—a thin white tank top under some overalls. It looked exactly like something a female engineer might wear. It shouldn’t have been arousing at all, and yet Dia’s natural cuteness made his outfit seem oddly sexy. Maybe I should have him hold a wrench, just to complete the impression.

“Now what kind of secret weapon did you have in mind?”

“I’m glad you asked, my dear Dia!” With a thunk, I set the golem Gomez had been riding onto the floor. “I’m gonna make this thing a combat golem! I’ll outfit it with all kinds of weapons!”

“Wow! A combat golem!” Dia’s eyes sparkled with wonder. Perhaps because he was well rested now, the light in his eyes was even brighter than yesterday. “Come to think of it, I did hear that the Kingdom of Alchemy used golems to defend their borders instead of cavalry. But the golems consumed too many magic stones to actively attack, so they were just used for defensive purposes.”

“Oh, really?” The Kingdom of Alchemy really had something that cool? Well, I guess it must have not fascinated the Goddess too much, since she kinda obliterated it and all.

“Actually, I’ve always wanted to see how one of these things worked,” Dia admitted.

“Oh? Then I’ll try controlling it! I should be able to manage with my magic, so just watch and learn— Ew, the cockpit reeks! Ugh... What is this smell?! It stinks like the boys’ kendo clubroom at school!”

The cockpit smelled so bad that I nearly gagged, so for now I disassembled the seat and tossed the parts in my base. I’d have Aishia scrub it all down later... Right now, I was gonna be sick! I went over to Dia and squeezed him tight. Ah, he smelled so good. His fragrance was healing my poor nose.

“S-Surely that’s enough, right, big sis?”

“Not yet. Let me hold you just a little longer.”

Dia blushed, but he didn’t resist. Ah, the fragrance of a beautiful girl... You know, if I bottled this and sold it as a perfume, I might make a killing!

“Now then, let’s think about what type of weaponry we want. I guess that’s actually the main topic at hand, huh?”

“Wh-While you’re hugging me? Don’t you think you could at least let go first?”

“Now, what weapon...?”

Realizing I wasn’t going to let go, Dia sighed in resignation. “Do you mean like a sword or a spear?”

“Hmm? I was thinking more like a gun or bazooka, but I guess a sword might be pretty cool too.” Given the golem’s size, I wanted an appropriately large weapon to go along with it. Something too big for a human to hold on their own. With mechs, that was just how it had to be.

“I know what a gun is, but what’s a bazooka?”

“A bazooka is...er, like a cannon you hold in your hands, I guess?”

“A cannon! I see. True, the golem’s definitely big enough to carry one of those.”

So cannons existed in this world too, then. Well, I guess that’s not too surprising since they have guns already.

“By the way, Dia, do you happen to know how guns and cannons work?” I asked, just out of curiosity.

“Just the basic principle. You cast explosion magic inside the barrel and use it to send the steel ball inside flying.”

Oh, so they didn’t use gunpowder, huh? Well, I supposed there’d be no need, since they had magic. “Okay. Incidentally, this is the gun the pirates were using,” I said, placing it on the table. “And these are the bullets, apparently.” I’d taken both the gun and bullets for myself after defeating the pirates on the ship.

“Wow, a real gun... This is the first time I’ve ever held one.”

“I was thinking that since we’ve got a real weapon on hand, we could analyze it and see what kind of magic circles were used to make it.”

“Wait, what? There’s no way we can analyze a weapon like this so— Oh, wow. You took it apart just like that.”

I split the body of the gun apart, revealing the magic circle at the bottom of the barrel that likely generated the explosion effect. With spatial magic, it was a simple feat.

“That’s strange,” Dia said. “I heard magic devices like this tend to self-destruct if someone tries to disassemble them, so that the technology isn’t easily copied...”

“With your big sis’s spatial magic, a weak security measure like that’s no problem at all. Now, go on, take a look!” In truth, I hadn’t actually sliced the gun up—I’d just slid it apart with my magic. It just looked like I’d taken it apart.

We went to work inspecting the gun’s inner workings and transcribing the magic circle inside. “This is probably the part that makes the explosion,” Dia said, pointing to the circle. “The magic circle’s drawn in the back of the barrel, and the back of the gun on the outside is made of magic steel. So when you turn on the switch, the steel channels mana into the magic circle, activating the spell like, bam!”

“And the trigger on the gun is the switch that activates the process. I see, I see.” The construction was even more simple than I’d expected. Essentially, it was no different than hooking a light bulb up to a battery and activating it with a touch of a button, except instead of the light turning on, it generated an explosion.

“Okay, so first, let’s give the gun’s bullets a conical shape for better aerodynamics,” I suggested. “And while we’re at it, let’s add some rifling to the barrel’s internal surface. That’ll impart some spin onto the bullet, allowing it to fly straighter. By rifling, I mean just etching a tight spiral pattern onto the inside of the barrel.”

“How does that make the bullet spin?”

“Well, assuming I recall how it works, if we make the barrel only a tiny bit smaller than the bullet, the bullet will grind against the spiral etchings as it’s fired. That causes it to spin, and I think it leaves rifling marks on the bullet as well.”

Hmm? But wouldn’t that mean the bullet needed to be made of a softer metal for the rifling to work? Was that why lead was used so often for ammunition? Because if the bullet and the gun were made of the same metal, the gun might break? Whoa...scary. To think that just a mere graze across the gun’s interior could ruin the weapon in an instant! It looked like adjusting the gun barrel and bullet for rifling required more careful consideration than I’d thought. That said, with spatial magic I could easily make size adjustments down to the nanometer, and then I could copy the adjustments so I wouldn’t have to make them again.

“There’s just one thing I’m worried about,” Dia said. “It seems like it’d be a chore to load the gun.”

“Well, what if I just used magic to set the bullet inside the gun from the start?” Of course, if I was going to go that far, did I really need the magic circle? An explosion was just an energetic expansion of gas, right? Why couldn’t I just create a pocket of compressed air behind the bullet, then release it? Come to think of it, since I’d already taken a rest day, I only had one more day left (today) to make this thing. Could I really afford to waste time working with magecraft?

“Well, I can make pretty much anything happen with my magic, after all, so I don’t really need other magic,” I said. “Dia, if you have any ideas on how to make the golem look any cooler, I’m all ears. Any suggestion you’ve got is fine.”

“Anything?”

“Yeah. We’re cutting it close on time. I’m gonna save the magecraft for later and use my own magic instead, so I can make pretty much any adjustment you want.”

Dia thought for a moment. “Well, you wanted this golem so you could capture Captain Maririn, right?”

“Yeah, that’s right.”

“In that case, why not make some sort of capturing equipment for it? Like a net.”

“Oh, nice idea! Pragmatic too!” Come to think of it, Maririn had already escaped me once, so perhaps I did need some sort of weapon that would prevent her from fleeing.

“Or you could use something sticky. Like how you can capture insects by trapping them with sticky surfaces.”

“Oh, I see! A sticky bullet! That’s not a bad idea either!” But exactly how to implement it? Dia and I mulled it over. While I could accomplish just about anything with spatial magic, some of its applications did require a little more ingenuity.

“At any rate, here’s what I’m thinking,” I said. “A bazooka on the left arm that can switch between sticky ammo and normal ammo. Oh, but the idea of a sword and shield for melee combat is just too good to abandon... Dang, what to do?” I was essentially assembling a giant robot for combat. But because I only had one, I was limited in how many weapons I could arm it with. I had to make a tough decision on what ideas to keep and what to scrap.

“Wait... Are you planning on loading the bullets with your magic too?” Dia asked.

“Yeah, that was the plan. Just slip ’em in there from my storage space instantly, like whoosh!” I replied while taking out a knife and holding it in my right hand.

“Then why don’t we start by making all the weapons we can think of? Then you can just switch them out with your magic as needed. It’s not like we’re limited on space in here... Though you might want to carry some empty boxes around with you, just so it doesn’t look too conspicuous.”

“What are you, an actual genius?!” Indeed, there was no need to limit weaponry to what the mech could carry on its frame! And if I carried some containers with me, I could just use the excuse that there were some spare parts inside, making my weapon switching on the fly seem more natural.

“Then let’s go with your suggestion and create as many weapons as we can brainstorm. As for materials... I have some boulders I picked up in the mountains. Maybe we can use those if I make them lighter with my magic.”

“You really can do anything with that magic, can’t you? Then I’ll handle inscribing the magic circles onto the equipment.”

“Oh?” I asked him why that was necessary.

“Just...since you’re gonna be approaching the pirate captain as a merchant, I was thinking... On the off chance she steals your weaponry, this way it’ll look like it was made with magecraft, and your magic won’t get exposed.”

“I see! That’s very astute of you, Dia!” I rubbed his head affectionately. Ah, his hair was so silky smooth that I just wanted to rub it forever.

“A-Also, I know you said it’s not necessary, but I really did want to try some magecraft. My knowledge is just limited to what was in that textbook you showed me the other day, but if I combine the magic circles properly, I really think I can do some cool stuff. It’d use up way more fuel, though, so if that’s a problem...” He blushed while downplaying his own idea.

“I see, shooting for raw power and functionality without worrying about the cost—it stokes my adventurous spirit!”

“Yes, I agree! So please, make as many weapons as you can come up with!”

“Leave it to me! Oh, how about a drill? Or a pile bunker might be good. Ooh, what about a flamethrower?!”

Man, this was super exciting!

And so, Dia and I became so engrossed in creating weapons and equipment for the golem that we lost track of time. The decisive battle was tomorrow, but before we knew it, the sun had come up. We’d pulled another all-nighter, just like the other day.

Seeing the piles of weaponry we’d prepared in front of us, Dia and I grinned at each other and shook hands, proud of what we’d accomplished. Then we both let out yawns.

“Man... Crap, looks like we stayed up all night again, huh?”

“Morning just snuck up on us, I guess...” Dia raised a hand to cover his mouth as he yawned, perhaps due to his good upbringing, but to me, it just made him look even cuter... Dammit! My eyes were watering from looking at such a moving work of art! If only he were actually a girl, I would have already made him my bride in an instant. Seriously. After all, was there really anything better than a wife who shared and actively participated in your hobbies?

“Hmm? What’s wrong, big sis? Are you crying?”

“Oh—no, it’s nothing. Now then, we’ve got a big day ahead of us!”

At any rate, we’d made ourselves a number of secret weapons to use against the captain. Just you wait, Maririn! No, seriously, wait for me, because otherwise I won’t get to use these cool new weapons on you! (I think I might be overly excited about this due to lack of sleep.)

#Side: Marinebell Pirates

The day the Marinebell Pirates’ attempted attack on the merchant ship failed, Maririn used the sacred treasure Poseidon’s emergency return function—a trick she could only use once per month—to get back to her ship and flee to her main base on Marinebell Island. She took her anger out on some empty barrels.

“Goddammit! Who the hell was that cheeky brat, anyway?!” With a clatter, her kick splintered a barrel into pieces. She’d been so confident in her victory. After all, she had two sacred treasures at her disposal, plus she had the home advantage while at sea.

And yet, she’d lost. Not only had she lost, she’d had to retreat with her tail between her legs, leaving the majority of her crew in the lurch.

“C-Captain...”

“Raaaggghhh! It’s been a long time since I’ve been this pissed off!” Ignoring her worried crew member, Maririn gnawed on her thumbnail. Now that her attack on the ship had failed, she had a mountain of things she needed to take into account. There was the (incredibly slim) possibility that the crewmen she’d left on the ship had taken the girl out after Maririn escaped, of course, but she wasn’t counting on it. If the girl had been that weak, Maririn would have had no trouble defeating her.

Should she flee? Turn herself in? Put up a fight? If so, did she have the manpower she needed? The resources? What about her pride as a pirate?

No. She couldn’t run. It was time to act. Using Poseidon’s high-speed sailing, it would take half a day to get to Verald from Marinebell Island. If she left now, she would just barely make it in time. She could get close enough to Verald to have her rematch, but far away enough that those on the shore couldn’t witness it.

“All right, men! Prepare for battle! We’re shoving off right away!”

“A-Aye, aye, ma’am!”

Having given the crew her orders, Maririn sank back into thought once more. She needed to consider everything thoroughly—after all, her reputation as captain of the legendary Marinebell Pirates was at stake. If she got her forces and attack plan all squared away and challenged the girl again in peak condition, she could defeat the girl, take her ship, and make up for her decision to flee. Ordering the crew members on the girl’s ship to turn on her would be the safest option, as then Maririn and her ship’s crew could swoop in, catching the girl between two groups of enemies. So she decided to go with that plan of action. Loading the ship up with as many weapons as she could, she and her crew swiftly prepared for departure.

However...

“Huh?!”

Just before they were about to sail, Maririn checked the merchant ship’s position via Poseidon. The ship had already made it to a point where it could be seen from Verald’s harbor—much more quickly than Maririn had anticipated. Almost like the merchant ship was also sailing at high speed with its own Poseidon...and with that thought, she realized.

“Th...That little BRAAAT!”

The girl had a sacred treasure powerful enough to get Maririn to retreat. In other words, this could only be her handiwork. Maririn had lost. Even if she headed for the ship right now, her attack would be seen by everyone at Verald’s harbor. Her misdeed would be in plain sight.

With no other option, she canceled her departure.

It took her two days after that to quell her anger enough to where she could assess the situation rationally.

“Things are even worse than I thought,” she muttered.

Her ship was still docked at Marinebell Island’s harbor. Maririn was in the captain’s quarters, thinking to herself. At present, her only remaining crew members were the ones on the island and the very few who’d stayed on the pirate ship during the attack rather than boarding the merchant ship. With Poseidon, that’d be more than enough to set sail, but not enough for the crew to do their jobs as pirates. Worst of all, her attack had failed, and she’d abandoned her crew in order to save herself.

To begin with, something was clearly off. Judging by its route, that merchant ship should have been en route to Verald for several days at that point. So when the pirates had attacked the ship, how had the girl she’d chased off of the pirate ship gotten on board? Surely she hadn’t swum that far before the pirate ship arrived?

“No, that’d be impossible. Meaning...she must have a Poseidon of her own.”

It would certainly explain why none of her attacks had worked against the girl. She’d used Poseidon’s power to both return to her ship before Maririn could get there and to endure the pirate crew’s firearms, their golem, and their captain’s own attacks. Then, before the pirates could try and attack the ship again, she’d set the ship on a high-speed course to Verald.

It all made sense now. Her sacred treasure was either Poseidon or something close to it. “Which means...it was all a trap she set up to ruin the Marinebell Pirates? No... Was the fire at the warehouse all part of her plan too?!”

That was the only logical explanation. She was aware that her crew had really been testing the limits of the law as of late. What if the territory lord had found an artifact similar to Poseidon, then hired the girl to eliminate the old, rebellious pirate crew in favor of a new, more obedient one? It was entirely possible.

And if this had all been a setup from the beginning...

At that moment, she heard the plodding of running feet from outside. “C-Captain, we’ve got a problem!” shouted a panicked crew member at her door.

“Not so loud, you ape! What ‘problem’ are you talking about?” As far as Maririn was concerned, they were already in deep shit. What more could possibly go wrong now?

“I-It’s Gomez! They announced his execution! He’s gonna be killed in front of the whole city!”

“Excuse me?!” With this, the situation had taken an even worse turn. “A-All right, don’t panic! Calm down, and tell me all the details!”

“W-Well, y’see, the guys we left in Verald’s harbor sent us this letter! By pigeon!”

Maririn snatched the letter away and read it. Most of it was written in code, but of course they hadn’t needed to make a cipher that corresponded to “public execution,” so that word alone was written as is. “Let’s see here...Gomez...and crew...to be publicly executed...three days from now?! This must be some sort of joke! I’ve never heard of any public execution moving ahead that quickly! Don’t we have a say?! What happened to the justice system?!” The abruptness of the news and the date announcement paralyzed Maririn’s thought process.

The execution was most likely unfairly set. She needed to go and save them. Her other crew members would have heard about this by the time the letter reached Maririn. If she didn’t go and bail them out, she’d surely lose her authority as their captain. And if that happened, the Marinebell Pirates would be done for.

The supposedly peerless Captain Maririn had already turned tail once and left her crew members hanging. Rescuing Gomez and the others was the only way she could salvage her reputation at this point. She’d been cornered to the very edge of a cliff precipice.

“But if that brat interferes again... Can I really win?”

She doubted it, to be honest. After all, she’d run away like a little girl during their first match. “Then how can I beat her?!” To achieve victory, she would need to go beyond her limit somehow. And there were only three days until the execution date.

After being invincible for so long, Maririn was forced to contend with a being who had the same—or similar—sacred treasure that she did. She had finally met her match. Because of that, she finally came to understand the importance of gathering intel on an enemy before a fight.

If there was anything she had the advantage on over the girl, it was her breadth of experience and the fact that she had two sacred treasures instead of just one. “Up until now, I’ve just been using Poseidon and Shoggoth separately. Then...what if I combine them?”

Ten plus ten was twenty, which would make her more powerful than she had been, but to defeat that brat she’d need to reach one hundred, or maybe even one thousand. How was she going to make up the difference, and in time to rescue Gomez and her other crewmates? Up until the day of the execution, she frantically researched her options to try to find the answer.

And so, the day of Gomez’s execution arrived.

Now fully prepared and well rested, Maririn headed from her pirate ship at Verald’s harbor, which she suspected was already under surveillance, to the execution site—the town’s central square. The square was only a short distance from the harbor, so her pirate ship and the ocean were still visible. Concerned her red hair and usual pirate outfit would be too conspicuous, she’d changed into plainer clothes. Her plan was to rescue Gomez and the others after they were displayed to the general public and right before their execution.

“Captain, forgive me for asking, but couldn’t we just save them before they get taken up to the platform? Why wait?”

“To put the crowd here on our side,” she explained to her subordinate. “If it doesn’t look like we’re acting in the name of justice, we’ll have a hard time getting any more work, even if we relocate to another town.”

Now that the territory lord had expressed his intent to crush the Marinebell Pirates, Maririn and her crew wouldn’t be able to work in Verald anymore. They’d have to move their base of operations to another port town, but to do so, they first needed to be able to assert that the lord of Verald had unfairly chased them away. If they didn’t, the pirate crew she was so proud of would appear no different from a band of lowly criminals. At least in the eyes of the public, she wanted the Marinebell Pirates to look like a cool, honorable group of swashbucklers idolized and adored by all. And most importantly, as long as she could look like her actions in rescuing Gomez were justified, she could use that to defend herself while continuing to make deals behind the lord’s back.

For the sake of her future as captain of the Marinebell Pirates, Maririn had thought everything through carefully.

It was only noon, and a large crowd had already gathered in the central square. The skies above were clear—the perfect day for a public execution. A platform had been erected in the middle, and on top of that, a pedestal for the pirates to lay their heads on. The method was old-fashioned, violent, and gruesome: beheading by axe.

Several of Maririn’s crew members were mixed in here and there with the crowd. Maririn herself, having changed back into her usual pirate outfit and hat, climbed onto the roof of a nearby building and crouched down out of sight. She breathed a quiet sigh of relief that she’d made it to the square before the execution could begin.

A short time later, Gomez and her other crew members were brought up onto the platform.

“N-No, please! I don’t wanna die! I’m innocent, I tell you, innocent! I was framed!” Gomez screamed and thrashed around like a child throwing a tantrum as he was bound and gagged. Honestly, Maririn found Gomez’s behavior difficult to watch. He dragged his feet as he walked to the platform, inching forward at a snail’s pace. The soldiers finally had to grab him and toss him up on the platform.

“Now then, it’s time to begin the execution!” the official declared loudly. Now was the time. Maririn stood up, showing herself.

“I object!”

Her strong voice rang out clear as a bell, gathering the eyes of all present onto her. The figure of the legendary red-haired captain of the Marinebell Pirates—the eternally beautiful Maririn—standing with her legs apart, arms crossed, and coat flapping in the wind, made a seismic impression on everyone who saw her.

“Those men you’ve got there are my Marinebell Pirates! Just what do you think you’re doing, executing them without even informing me of it first?! Huh?!”

When Gomez and the others saw Maririn, they let out cries of joy as though their savior had suddenly appeared. Gomez somehow managed to remove the gag in his mouth and yelled out in a throaty voice. “Captain Maririn! Please, save me! I didn’t do anything wrong! I’m innocent!”

“We Marinebell Pirates symbolize justice! We’ve sworn to the seas that we will never commit any wrongdoing! Isn’t that right, Gomez?!”

“Yes, Captain, absolutely!”

“Then there you have it! In the first place, who ever heard of going immediately from arrest to execution?! What happened to a fair trial?! There’s obviously some sort of scheme afoot here!”

Her words planted a seed of doubt among the gathered spectators. “Yeah! Come to think of it, isn’t it weird that they’re getting executed right off the bat?!” one said.

“Was there even an investigation?!”

“Are they trying to shut these pirates up for some reason, perhaps?”

Wary, confused voices rose up from the crowd. The first crowd member who’d spoken up belonged to Maririn’s crew. And just as planned, it had laid the groundwork for the crowd to get suspicious and start talking among themselves.

“If they’re just executing people now with no investigation and no trial, doesn’t that mean it could happen to any of us?! What if one day, we’re next?!”

“Yeah! Show us evidence! Where’s your proof that these pirates committed a crime?!”

“Isn’t this an unfair execution?!”

The crowd became unified in their distrust. Their anger far outweighed the anticipation they’d had for a public spectacle. The winds were clearly favoring Maririn and her crew. Now if they would just keep up the unrest until the end, Maririn would have many allies here on her side. She wouldn’t be fighting by herself. She just had to trust them—trust that they’d all unite with her and fight together!

“Now then, if you have some sort of evidence that proves my crew members deserve execution, spit it out!” Taking advantage of the riled-up crowd, Maririn threw out her chest and demanded that the official give her proof.

But the official wasn’t the least bit intimidated.

“Gladly! Then from this point on, I’ll publicly announce the crimes that these men committed, as well as the proof that led to their arrest!”

“Huh?!”

“O-Oh, you don’t say?”

“He’s really got proof?!”

The official’s loud, confident declaration—he was probably amplifying his voice with a magic item—reached the ears of everyone in the crowd and silenced their restlessness.

“First off, arson! As you may be aware, the warehouse belonging to the Marinebell Trading Company caught fire the other day. But a company member set the fire himself to cover up a murder—we have proof thanks to the witness testimony of another employee! What’s more, we performed an autopsy on a charred body we found at the scene. The man’s neck had been broken before the fire, which also aligns with the testimony we heard!”

A doctor and young stablehand walked up from behind the official and corroborated the information.

“I’m the doctor who performed the autopsy. I swear to the gods that the results were exactly as announced!”

“And just before the fire broke out, I saw these guys carrying straw out from a stable. I swear on the gods too.”

Meanwhile, the citizens in the square looked shocked and confused.

“That doctor there’s a trustworthy fellow I owe a lot to. He’d never lie about something like that.”

“If they’re willing to swear to the gods...then it’s true?!”

“S-Seriously?”

Maririn was also standing with her mouth open, looking dumbfounded.

“And that’s not all the crimes these men committed!” the official crowed, and he proceeded to read off the list of Gomez’s offenses. It wasn’t just arson and murder. Fraud, rape, theft, property damage, drug trafficking, libel, and blasphemy—among other things—were included on the list. The official explained the reasoning and evidence behind each of these charges, and after the reading of each offense, Gomez, who’d been gagged once more, whimpered.

“Seriously? He did all that?”

“He’s more of a scumbag than I thought. No wonder they’re executing him, then.”

“Maybe he was just such a bad person that they didn’t have any trouble gathering evidence that quickly.”

The winds were now blowing in the exact opposite direction. Maririn was so shocked at what the official was saying that her jaw was practically on the floor.

“And finally, this secret ledger was found in the Marinebell Trading Company’s office, in a hidden compartment! This ledger serves as evidence for all of the known offenses that these men have committed!” Then, when the official’s public reading concluded, he said, “Therefore, there can be no room for doubt that these individuals deserve no quarter and face the death penalty! Any objections now, Miss Maririn Marinebell, CEO of the Marinebell Trading Company?!”

There was far too much definitive proof for her to ignore. “Huh? N-No, if you’ve got all that proof and you even confirmed everything with the victims, then I can’t dispute it.”

“L-Lies!” Gomez bellowed, having once again removed his gag. “It’s all made up! These guys forced a false testimony out of everyone— Mmph!” His gag was shoved back in. “Mmmppphhh!”

She hadn’t expected this. If that was all true, then maybe he deserved to be executed after all. She couldn’t say anything to defend him, and besides, if she tried to rescue him now, she and her crew would all be seen on the same level as him. “Gomez, you scum. Never mind, sorry for interrupting. Don’t mind me—continue!”

Gomez and the others on the platform moaned in despair, but she paid them no mind. You all reap what you sow. And to think they were doing all that while on board the same ship as her.

“Then I bid you all good day,” she said, turning on her heel.

“Hold it right there, Maririn Marinebell! I’ve got a warrant for your arrest as well! The other day, you illegally attacked a merchant ship! Stand down, and no one gets hurt!”

Shit, she thought with a scowl. It was true—she was guilty of that crime. But attacking ships was a pirate’s job, wasn’t it? Shouldn’t they have just forced her to pay a fine, at the most? That had been her only punishment every time she’d been caught thus far, after all.

“Guh...!” She was about to leap down from the roof—when she saw her. The girl was wearing a red mask, but there was no room for doubt. She’d ambushed Maririn with a grin so smug that the pirate captain could even detect it from behind that mask. Plus, there were soldiers all around the building also lying in wait. When Maririn looked at the girl before her eyes, she unconsciously saw a vision of her pirate crew getting crushed. If she got captured here, the Marinebell Pirates would definitely be disbanded.

She steeled herself. “Guess there’s no other option,” she said with a shrug. She would give up on her life as a pirate businesswoman and move to plan B.

“From this day forth, the Marinebell Pirates will take on a new life as mercenaries of the sea! But we wouldn’t be very reliable mercenaries if we couldn’t even take care of a single bratty girl, could we?! So I’m gonna crush you!”

“Oh?” The corner of the girl’s mouth turned up in a smirk. She was clearly ready for a fight. “Then come at me, if you think you can. Do your worst. And when you lose, I’ll capture you and wrap you up in my special turtle shell bondage!”

Maririn had a sacred treasure at her disposal, so she wasn’t worried about the number of soldiers on the ground. She needed to be most wary of the girl in the center. Everyone else was an afterthought.

The girl beckoned to Maririn with her hand. And Maririn assumed her fighting stance.

#Side: END

It was the day of Gomez and his cronies’ public execution.

To be honest, at first the atmosphere was such that it almost seemed like the pirate on the chopping block was going to yell “My treasure? It’s yours if you can find it, but you’ll have to search the whole world!” as his last words, but Gomez did nothing so grand. He only whimpered and sobbed like a baby.

What’s more, Maririn had shown up, just as Miss Maria had anticipated. Perhaps the saying “the older, the wiser” really did have some truth to it! Then the official had publicly read off so much evidence of her crew’s wrongdoing that I honestly found myself feeling sorry for her. You really were the scum of the earth, weren’t you, Gomez?

“Therefore, there can be no room for doubt that these individuals deserve no quarter and face the death penalty! Any objections now, Miss Maririn Marinebell, CEO of the Marinebell Trading Company?!”

“Huh? N-No, if you’ve got all that proof and you even confirmed everything with the victims, then I can’t dispute it. Gomez, you scum. Never mind, sorry for interrupting. Don’t mind me—continue!”

With that, Maririn turned on her heel to leave. Gomez screamed at her angrily with bloodshot eyes, but no one could possibly blame her for choosing to abandon him at this point. Still, she’d fallen into my—or rather, Miss Maria’s—trap. Soldiers had already gathered to ambush her below, and her crew members hiding within the crowd were starting to get apprehended one by one. Now I just needed to capture Maririn, rip those socks off her, and mission complete.

It did occur to me that I could probably just resolve all of this by opening a hole in front of her and capturing her in my closed space, just like I’d done with the goblin king... But that’d be way too boring! I mean, after going through the trouble of developing a combat golem with Dia, getting Aishia to wash and deodorize the cockpit Gomez had been in, and customizing the golem’s appearance to look all cool, it’d be a huge waste not to use it! (Once again, lack of sleep was making me overeager.)

Besides, Dia was watching me from the base, using the same method that I’d used to keep an eye on Gomez! I had to look like a cool big sister for him too, right?! So with that in mind, I ambushed Maririn on the roof, acting deliberately smug. Now, come at me, sis!

“Guh...!” When Maririn saw me, she grimaced. No way... She recognized me right off the bat, even though I’m wearing my mask?! Even though we haven’t even shared any time naked in the bath together?! Damn... She’s more perceptive than I thought!

“Guess there’s no other option,” Maririn muttered, and she raised her fist at me. “From this day forth, the Marinebell Pirates will take on a new life as mercenaries of the sea! But we wouldn’t be very reliable mercenaries if we couldn’t even take care of a single bratty girl, could we?! So I’m gonna crush you!”

“Oh?” Mercenaries of the sea, eh? Captain Maririn was a stronger woman than I gave her credit for. Meaning it would be all the more embarrassing for her when I tied her up and took her socks! I could just see the SP value now! In fact, maybe I’d embarrass her even more by hoisting her onto the execution platform and exposing her bare feet to the world!

“Then come at me, if you think you can. Do your worst. And when you lose, I’ll capture you and wrap you up in my special turtle shell bondage!”

With that provocation, the rematch between Captain Maririn and me began!

“Summon Golem!” I cried out, raising my hand to the heavens and opening a hole to my closed space. From that hole, my golem dropped out into the world. It was fundamentally the same golem Gomez had used to attack me, but it now sported a backpack, a bazooka in its right hand, and a sword in its left. It also had shields on the backs of both arms. It landed on the ground with enough force to nearly smash through the roof. That was close—if I hadn’t softened its landing with spatial magic, it would have gone right through the roof like rice paper.

Anyway, I leaped toward the cockpit, teleported myself inside with my magic, and assumed the controls. “Now, let’s do this, Captain Maririn— Wait, huh?”

I’d remodeled the cockpit to where I could see outside in a 360-degree display. But no matter where I looked, I didn’t see Captain Maririn! Seriously? Where’d she disappear to this time...?

“Below you, big sis!”

“HAAA!” At that moment, Captain Maririn slammed her fist, which was now a giant boulder, up from underneath me. The force of her punch sent my golem flying up into the air. Whoa, whoa, just how heavy do you think this thing is, Maririn? Oh—that’s exactly what Gomez said to me back when I fought him, huh? Now I understand how he must have felt.

“Thanks for that, Dia. If you hadn’t given me that warning, I wouldn’t have been able to defend in time. I never would’ve guessed she’d come from below!”

“I was watching her the entire time, so I could see exactly what she was planning to do. Don’t worry! I’ll keep supporting you the best I can!”

Dia was back at base, watching the scene from a bird’s-eye view and offering me tactical support. It was honestly a big help! I righted my golem’s posture in midair and touched down on the building’s roof. Immediately afterward, Maririn flew at me. Oh, I see now. She was transforming both her arms into boulders and using the force of the transformation to launch herself forward, then canceling the transformation afterward so she could do it again.

“Ha, not bad, Captain! But that’s why I have this guy!” I fired my golem’s bazooka. With a loud noise and a puff of smoke, the projectile launched from the muzzle toward Maririn...and exploded with a bang! in midair. The capture net that had been inside automatically spread out.

But Maririn transformed both her arms into eels—no, sea serpents—that were much larger than the net and flung it away. “Nice try, but you’ll have to do better than that!” Her serpentine arms wrapped around my golem’s arm, lifted me and my golem up, and spun us around in circles. Guh... I could feel the g’s! Then she let go and sent us flying through the air.

“It looks like she’s heading toward the ocean, big sis.”

“Oh yeah? All right, two can play that game.” The moment my golem landed on the ground, I made a gigantic leap back up into the air, this time in the direction of the sea. I touched down on the cobblestone street, but I used my spatial magic to make sure I didn’t break it. Then to further ensure I didn’t harm any innocent bystanders, I used my hover function to make it the rest of the way to the sea.

“I’ve never seen a golem move like that before... Tch, you cheeky little brat. Just what are you scheming now?” she said, looking at me behind her as she ran.

“What, was that all you’ve got? If you used your full power and you still couldn’t beat me, you must be pretty embarrassed, huh?”

“The Marinebell Pirates never lose! I never lose!” she bellowed, and she threw another punch at me. I slid over to the side to dodge it. Ha ha, this was actually really fun! She tried punching me over and over, but I blocked her attacks with the shields on the backs of my golem’s arms as I continued to hover without losing any speed. Finally, I saw the ocean spread out before my eyes. My destination was just a little ahead of the harbor. Uh-oh, it looked like some soldiers were blocking the way forward. Hey guys, it’s dangerous to stand there! Move out of the way!

“Waaaghhh!”

“Hey, don’t push us! Gaaah!”

“Sorry, guys!” I said. Unfortunately, there was nothing ahead of where I pushed them but the sea, so they fell in.

“You little shit...” Maririn cried. “You’re not even fit to lick my boots!”

“Ew, I wouldn’t want to lick your boots anyway. Now your belly button, on the other hand...”

“Wh-What are you saying, big sis?!”

“Cheeky bitch... I’m gonna make you cry, I swear it!”

And so, Maririn and I arrived at the pirate ship without anyone else having to get hurt.

“Now it’s time to get serious!” she said. “You’re gonna regret having ever crossed me!”

“Oh, are we going on a cruise? But I haven’t even packed my bags!”

“That’s enough nonsense out of youuu!”

Despite my smart-aleck quip (no doubt brought on by my overeagerness from lack of sleep), she didn’t seem to find it too amusing. Oh, I guess the cruises like I’m used to probably don’t exist in this world, huh? No wonder, then.

Anyway, now that Maririn was finally getting serious, it was time to wrap this battle up.

“Poseidon!” Maririn cried out as she leaped onto the ship. As if in response, her pirate ship started to glow with a mysterious light. “And now...I’ll show you the true might of the sea god! Shoggoth!” The captain produced a purple orb from within her cleavage. Then she pressed it down onto the ship’s deck. Immediately afterward, four whirlpools formed around the pirate ship. No, they weren’t whirlpools after all, because they were slowly rising up from the water like tornadoes. And at the same time, they were lifting the pirate ship in the center up into the air along with them.

“HAAA!” Maririn cried out. As though responding to her battle cry, the vortices of water attached themselves to the ship like legs on a quadrupedal beast. A front leg raised up and smashed a nearby boat in the harbor to pieces. Then the boat’s remains were swallowed up into the vortex.

“Behold, the Marinebell Pirates’ ultra-secret weapon—Sea Monster Mode! See?! It’s a monster!” Placing her heel on the ship’s prow, she looked smugly down at me on the ground. From her expression, I could tell she was completely confident in her victory.

“C-Can you really beat something like that, big sis?! Will you be okay?!”

“Man, that thing’s cool— Oh yeah, Dia, no problem! With this golem the two of us designed, there’s no way I’m gonna lose!” Still, I was impressed. What an awesome ability!

“Now, let’s see just how long you can stay all cocksure now!” Maririn crowed. The sea monster raised its leg, clearly intending to crush me underfoot. I hovered past the leg and fired my bazooka at the one behind. This time it wasn’t a bullet with a net inside but a shell of compressed air designed to combust. Bull’s-eye! With a deafening explosion, the creature’s leg shuddered a little—but that was all.

“Whoa, that vortex is way sturdier than I thought!”

“Ha ha! That’s Poseidon’s ultimate defensive capabilities for you! With a defense just as powerful as its offense, nothing can destroy these vortices! This is checkmate!”

“I see, I see! Very interesting!” I said, putting my bazooka and sword away in the golem’s backpack. Then I brought out my next set of weapons—dual flamethrowers!

“Take this!” I cackled, unleashing twin streams of flame at the vortex.

“Er... Can fire really beat water, big sis?!”

“You know, that’s a good point! Up against that much water, it’s probably a futile effort, huh?”

I’d specially created this fire simply by mixing wood chips and a new type of alcohol I’d invented and subsequently copied, so it wasn’t especially powerful on its own. However...

“It’s useless, little girl! You’ll never...” Maririn was interrupted by a coughing fit. “Hey, what’s with this smoke?! Is someone grilling something?!”

The smoke from the fire alone was effective against Maririn, apparently. Still, it wasn’t much of an attack, so I put the flamethrowers back in the backpack. Sorry, I just felt like trying them out.

“Next up... How about this?!” This time I pulled out a brand-new attachment for my right arm—a drill! With this, I could gouge right into my opponent’s insides— Er, wait, but I was up against a vortex. That’s not gonna do any damage at all, huh?

“Big sis, the ship’s probably the main body, so attack that instead!”

“Right! What a great idea! Hi-yahhh!” And so, I switched targets from the vortex to the pirate ship itself. Making a big leap so as to avoid the creature’s gigantic leg, I aimed my drill right at the ship’s hull for a direct attack!

“Whoa, this golem’s pretty agile, huh?!” Now high up in the air, I fired up my drill and slammed it onto the hull. There was an unpleasant screeching sound like metal scraping against metal.

“Whoa!”

“Oof!”

“Oh, no! Big sis!”

A wave of sound several times more awful than nails on a chalkboard hit me with such force that I nearly passed out. I guessed it was the same for Maririn as well. And with that much power... Yes, it worked! I’d opened a small hole in the hull, my first bit of damage to the ship!

“B-Big sis, don’t stop there! Follow up by throwing a bomb in the hole!”

“Okay! Take that!” Following Dia’s suggestion, I tossed a pipelike object into the hole I’d made, just wide enough for it to fit. Then I used spatial magic to move the object deeper into the ship. There was a massive explosion. Well, that’s a hand grenade for you. That said, it wasn’t a gunpowder-based grenade—I’d once again packed it with compressed air. However, there was so much compressed air inside that releasing it all immediately had caused an explosion large enough to engulf the entire ship interior. In fact, the golem and I were caught up in the blast as well, and we went flying. On the other hand, there was a much wider hole in the ship’s hull now.

“Aaaghh! You bitch... What did you just do to my ship?!”

“Nothing much. Just a little wind magic.”

“Uh, big sis, weren’t there still some pirates in there? Well, I guess it’s too late to worry about that now.”

“Don’t worry, I checked first, and it looks like Maririn’s the only one on board right now!” At present, there were zero pirates aboard the ship besides Maririn. I knew that for a fact because I’d already scanned for them. If there had been some pirates still inside, it would have been too dangerous to use the grenade. Perhaps Maririn had already anticipated our fight and made them get off. She probably knew they’d just be in the way. However! That meant there was no need for me to hold back! I could be as destructive as I wanted!

Now, sorry for intruding! I used my golem to charge straight into the ship through the gaping hole. Normally the corridors would have been too narrow for the golem to traverse, but thanks to the earlier explosion, I had plenty of room now!

My destination was none other than the captain’s quarters. That’s right, I was aiming for her dresser drawer! I was going to steal as many of her socks, bras, and panties as I could carry— Whoa!

At that moment, my body was separated from the golem and sent outside the ship. I crashed to the ground in a heap—I’d been flung all the way back to the harbor. Ugh... If I hadn’t deployed I Am The Star at the last minute, I could’ve been seriously hurt!

“That was a close one... Looks like I removed you from the ship just in time. Huff... Huff...”

“Hmph. Not too shabby, Captain Maririn,” I groaned, though this time it had just felt like I’d been teleported to the harbor, when it was more like a gust of wind had blown me back the first time. Oh, was that because the wind wouldn’t have worked since I was in the golem? Huh, that sacred treasure was pretty clever.

“Phew... Anyway, since your weapon—that golem of yours—is on my ship, it’s my property now! Now then, ready to surrender?”

“Oh, poor, pitiful Maririn. Do you really not know?” I said with a condescending grin.

“Know? Know what?”

“Know that golems have an autopilot function, of course!”

“What?!”

Even though I wasn’t riding it anymore, the golem inside the ship was continuing to raid Maririn’s dresser drawer. More specifically, I was controlling it remotely using spatial magic, but she didn’t need to know that. Now, surrender your unmentionables to me! “What’s more, golems aren’t human! So you can’t eject the golem from the ship like you did me!”

“Noooo! Get out of theeeere!” The ship shook and rattled violently from the inside, then the golem was tossed unceremoniously from the gaping hole in the ship. “Whew... Huff... I really can’t let my guard around you for a second, can I?! To think you would target my Poseidon itself...”

“You know, big sis, I think I just heard something pretty interesting. Sounds like continuing to attack the ship itself is the way to go!”

“I agree!” Yeah, up until now I’d only been focused on raiding her dresser drawer, but now that Dia mentioned it, I guessed I should make my next target that big crystal ball, huh?

“Well, now that the golem’s back outside where I can get to it, and there’s already a big hole in the ship, let’s head back in for one more try!”

Meanwhile, the captain was looking awfully groggy for some reason. “How... How dare you make a fool of me?! Shoggoooth!”

The ship glowed once again, and in the next instant, the hole inside the pirate ship repaired itself, just like that. “Guh... Huff... How... How do you like that?! A scratch like that...is nothing to me!”

Ooh, impressive. Indeed, the ship looked as good as new. “But you know, Captain, you don’t look so good. Are you gonna be all right?”

“Big sis, look. The vortex legs are thinning out too.”

He was right. Hmm... I’d been under the impression that sacred treasures just worked on their own, but looking at Maririn right now, they must have taken some sort of toll on the user after all. Probably depleted the user’s mana, if I had to guess.

“Th...This is nothing! This much can be overcome with youth and...hack...sheer willpower! Huff...huff...”

“You’re gasping for breath so hard you can’t even finish your sentence,” I pointed out. And besides... “You just said ‘youth,’ but the former lord’s wife told me you were only three years younger than her.”

“And she doesn’t look like an elf to me either,” Dia remarked.

“Oh, really? Well, you would know, wouldn’t you, Dia? In other words...she’s just dressing herself up to make her look younger than she is?”

Maririn froze as still as a statue at that comment.

“Oh? What’s wrong, Captain? Did something I said bother you?”

“Wh-Wh... WHO ARE YOU CALLIN’ AN OLD HAAAG?!” At that moment, the vortex legs supporting the ship vanished, and the gaping hole in the ship reappeared. Then an even more enormous column of water swallowed the pirate ship up, and Maririn along with it. The ocean water then began to take on the shape of the captain herself. Gradually, an aqueous, gigantic Maririn emerged from the water’s surface.

Oh, shit. Right—I forgot it was taboo to mention a woman’s age.

#Side: Former Territory Lord’s Wife

Mariantine’s plan had succeeded. Maririn had taken the bait and appeared as expected, and now Maririn had to contend with Karina, the wild card. Back when Karina had summoned her combat golem from the heavens, Maria had been a little worried the cobblestone paving would get ruined, but it didn’t get damaged much at all—and even if it had, it’d be a permissible expense. She’d even prepared to compensate town residents for damage to their property, if necessary.

Then, once Maririn and Karina’s golem were evenly matched, they’d headed toward the harbor. Curiously enough, the path the two followed to the harbor as they continued to fight also only received minor damage—the roofs, cobblestone roads, and the like were all left intact. But as Maria continued to watch their bout from a distance, the situation quickly veered into the totally unexpected.

“Wh-What the hell is that?” Mariantine muttered.

The Marinebell Pirates’ ship transformed into a humongous beast, with four aqueous vortices as legs. Maria could easily see it from her location, given it was forming just past the harbor.

“You go, Captain Maririn!”

“There it is, the secret weapon! The tables have turned! We’ve wooon!”

Even the pirates on the execution block, for whom there would be no saving, were surprised to see it. So surprised, in fact, that they seemed to have completely forgotten how their captain had called them scum and left them for dead.

But indeed, it was an intimidating display. The crowd gathered at the square started to flee in a panic. No one felt like watching an execution anymore, so the pirates on the chopping block would probably be spared, at least for now.

From her high position, Maria used binoculars to observe the four-legged creature. Karina was going up against it with her combat golem, firing at the vortex legs with her golem-sized gun. It looked like the blast caused one of the legs to shudder for an instant, but it regained its footing immediately afterward. Karina then took out a flamethrower for some reason, which was even less effective, but just as Maria was wondering why she’d made such a poor weapon choice, Karina attacked the ship’s hull and opened a hole inside. She must have done something after that too, because Maria saw an explosion come from the hole.

Of course, this had the monster reeling. The golem headed into the ship, and the monster squirmed around and shuddered like it felt uncomfortable having an intruder inside it. Then, after doing a considerable amount of damage, the golem flew back out of the hole. In the next instant the ship lit up, the hole got sealed up, and the ship went back to looking completely unharmed.

“But it’s still clearly suffering,” Maria murmured. “It only looks as good as new.”

“N-No! Captain!”

“She’s not done yet! She can still fight!”

Even from afar, though, Maria could tell the monster was running ragged. The vortex legs had thinned out to where they’d nearly disappeared. At this rate, it looked like Karina’s victory was assured. Finally, the legs vanished, and the ship crashed back down into the water. Karina had won—or so Maria thought. In the next moment, a gigantic mass of water taking the form of a woman rose up from the sea. And once it had fully formed, it let out a shriek that shook Maria—and the entire town of Verald—to the core.

It was a gigantic Maririn, but only her upper half. Either her lower body was submerged underwater, or it had just never manifested to begin with. As though to replace her captain’s hat, the pirate ship itself was now on top of her head.

She swung her arm in a wide arc at Karina’s golem. But the golem avoided it with a lightning-fast dodge—so fast that it was like the golem had instantaneously moved from point to point, almost like the legendary spell of myth known as Teleport. None of the giant Maririn’s attacks connected—however, none of the golem’s attacks worked on the giant Maririn either. She was simply too large to do any damage to. She was so big that the golem was more like a mouse or a little fly buzzing around her.

“Shit... What are we supposed to do, then?!” Maria growled.

But Karina didn’t give up. She fired her gun repeatedly, pelting Giant Maririn with explosion after explosion. And for a split second, it was effective—holes opened up in her arms and body, and chunks of water blew away and fell back into the ocean. But the holes sealed up with more water almost instantly after they were created. However, these new sealed areas seemed to be bulging more powerfully than before. Curious, Maria took a closer look—and discovered that dead, shriveled fish were floating around inside Maririn’s body, despite her technically being a body of water.

Not good, Maria thought. Her intuition gained from having served in a position of power for so long told her that at this rate, no one would be able to beat her.

Then, she suddenly realized. The water—Maririn’s power—was coming from the ocean. Meaning as long as Giant Maririn stayed in the sea, her body would endlessly recover. “But looking at it from the opposite angle... T-Teresa! Send my voice over to Miss Kari!”

“Right away, Lady Mariantine... Aero Voice!” As ordered, she sent Maria’s voice over in the direction of the golem.

“Miss Kari, can you hear me?! That giant’s absorbing its power from the sea, so head over to dry land! Get her away from her power source!” Of course, if the giant started to walk on land, a few houses might get crushed in the process, but it was preferable to not being able to defeat Maririn. The soldiers had already started evacuating the townsfolk too, so as long as the battle ended without any human casualties, Mariantine couldn’t ask for anything more.

#Side: END

Thanks to unwittingly stepping on a taboo, I found myself in an extremely difficult situation.

“Hmm... I’ve really done it now, haven’t I?”

Captain Maririn was pissed, to say the least. And while it looked like I was fighting Maririn by riding the golem, I was actually manipulating it from the shadows with spatial magic, making it move at normally impossible speeds. But none of the compressed-air explosive shells I fired were having any effect! Whenever I damaged her, she recovered immediately! And she blocked all of my melee attacks with her water!

“In that case...I wonder what my next approach should be.”

“Big sis, big sis! Got a moment?”

“Oh? What’s up, Dia?”

“The former lord’s wife just sent you a message. I heard it from the window I’m connected to on the back of the golem. According to her, Maririn’s drawing all her strength from the ocean.”

Oh? Come to think of it, that would explain why all of her wounds sealed up with water as soon as I’d damaged her. And the ocean fish swimming around inside her were all dried-up, like all their energy had been sucked out of them. Plus, since the water I blasted off of her just plopped back in the ocean, she’d never run out. Until her water source dried up, she’d be invincible... It was like I was fighting the ocean itself!

“And so, she suggested that you should separate her from her water source by luring her to dry land instead.”

“Wait, seriously? She’s fine with that? All right, then that’s what I’ll do!” Man, it was a good thing Dia was able to hear that message. Since I wasn’t actually in the golem right now, it never would have reached me otherwise.

Anyway, I piloted the golem once more, then hovered over in the direction of the execution site. Just as planned, Maririn followed and rose from the sea onto dry land... Oh, I guess it really is just her upper body. What happened to her lower half? At least give yourself some legs, woman! I was really hoping I’d be able to harvest some gigantic socks, dammit!

“Ooooohhhhhh!” I continued to dash down the road toward the execution site. Maririn followed right behind, crawling forward with her gigantic hands and sending up splashes every time they touched down on ground. I applied spatial magic to the buildings she hit so that they wouldn’t get destroyed. That’s right, Captain, keep following me! This way! “Catch me if you can, demon!”

“WHO’RE YOU CALLING A DEMON HAAAG?!”

“I didn’t say the hag part!”

I sent another bazooka shell her way. It hit with a splash, blasting away more of her water. This time only half of it regenerated, and she could only absorb the moisture on the ground now. I could also see that Poseidon, the crystal ball, was in the very center of her body. Actually, she didn’t even resemble the captain much at all anymore. Don’t tell me she transformed into water completely? Then how am I supposed to get her socks?! Or so I thought, but then I noticed at least her clothes were still visible from within the water. In that case, there was still a chance.

“Big sis, you’ve arrived at the town square!”

“Okay. Now it’s go time. Dia, I’m gonna keep needing your full support.”

Nearly everyone in the square had evacuated, leaving only Miss Maria, her soldiers, and the pirates slated to be executed.

“Wait, why is Miss Maria still here?” I said.

“Because I’m responsible for all of this!” she replied. “I at least have a duty to see it through to the end. That said, I also trust that you’ll win. You can do it, right?”

“Oh, yeah. Leave it to me.” Being in a position with a lot of responsibility must be tough, huh? You know, I think I’ll protect Miss Maria. I put a barrier up in front of her to shield her from any harm.

At that moment, Maririn barged into the square. I’d blasted away so much of her water that she and my golem were now the same size. And now that she was smaller, she had legs again. That said, her whole body was still made of water, with her clothes still floating inside.

“Are you just gonna keep blasting her from here?” Dia asked.

“Hmm... No, change of plans!”

Without warning, Maririn’s hand stretched out and branched into tentacles in order to bind my golem. The tentacles were made of a denser type of water, like a slime.

“Huh?! They’re sucking my mana out?!” It was just a bit at a time, but it felt like Maririn was sucking up the mana surrounding my golem, as if through a straw. Not good.

“I feel the mana...rushing through me!” Maririn moaned. A new tentacle of water extended from her back, this time heading for Maria, Gomez, and the other pirates on the platform. But I set up that barrier, so she couldn’t possibly—

“No way! She broke through my spatial magic barrier?!”

That’s right—my transparent barrier of space, supposedly impervious to all physical attacks, was shattered with ease. I immediately teleported Maria and the soldiers back to the lord’s castle before harm could befall them. But Gomez and his cronies weren’t so lucky and got captured.

“C-Captain! You’re here to rescue us at last...right?”

“Guh... Gah... C-Captain, not so rough... No, Captain, what are you doing?! Stooop...!”

“Wh-Why...? C-Captain...”

Just like the dead fish inside Maririn, the convicted pirates shriveled up like prunes. Their captain absorbed every bit of their energy.

“I’M BURSTING WITH ENERGY! I CAN FEEL THE YOUTH FLOWING INTO ME!” A sudden shock wave spread from her body, and a beat later, the cobblestone road caved in, even though I’d been shielding it with my spatial magic! Shit... If it could negate spatial magic, it must have been the Goddess’s power! In other words, it was that sacred treasure’s doing!

The pirates were now so shriveled and brittle that they looked like mummies—in fact, they seemed totally dead. Maririn tossed them away.

“I FEEL THE WELLSPRING OF YOUTH!”

Well, that stands to reason—since you’re made of water right now, Captain.

“Yikes... Big sis, she’s probably using a ton of energy to maintain that form, you know. If we could just keep her from replenishing, she’d probably dry up in no time!”

Dia’s observational skills were a big help...but the question was, how to go about it? “Hmm. Then that means I need to keep her away from anything that might help her resupply.” And to be honest, she could probably feed off my spatial magic and my golem as well, so I couldn’t confine her using those. If my method of confinement used mana she could absorb, it would defeat the purpose of keeping her away from the water.

Then a light bulb went off in my head. In other words, I just needed to keep her here on land without magic. And I had just the item to do it!

I took a small pouch out of my space of holding. “Take...this!”

“GAAAH!”

With a fwoosh, a white powder flew through the air. Using that as a smoke screen of sorts, I used my spatial magic to stick more white powder to the aqueous captain. Of course, she might absorb that little bit of spatial magic, but that was fine. Because after this, she wouldn’t be absorbing any more.

“Big sis, what is that powder?”

“Oh, this? Nothing too special, really.”

But before I could even give the answer, Captain Maririn fell over dramatically. The golem-sized Maririn struggled to get back on her feet, but her hands slipped on the ground, and she collapsed again.

“What did you toss onto her?” Dia asked. “Some kind of poison?”

“Nope, in fact, it’s something that’s supposed to be good for the body—just some powdered lube, is all!”

Indeed, it was the very same high-grade lube I’d bought for Miss Harumikazuchi. Maririn’s body had absorbed that powder, and I’d thrown so much of it that it wasn’t merely like a lube bath either. Her entire body had turned into lube. With such slippery limbs, she slid around on the ground helplessly like a newborn fawn. And because her body was so large, it was even harder for her to keep her balance. Each time she crashed to the ground, water splashed all over, making the ground wetter and wetter. As she lost more and more water, she got smaller and smaller. And just as she tried to step forward to escape the pool of lube water around her...

“Had enough yet? BAM!”

I sent a shell of compressed air her way to keep her from escaping. The blast itself didn’t contain any mana, so she couldn’t absorb any energy from it. If she tried to extend her tentacles again, I could just blow them backward.

She couldn’t escape. I wouldn’t let her. And finally, she returned to the size of a human.

“Haa... Haa... Haa...” she panted heavily.

“Oh, looks like you’re back to normal size now. What a pity, Captain.”

“GAAAHHH!” she screamed, trying to lunge at me, but she fell on her face once more.

“By the way, why don’t you put on some clothes? It might keep you from slipping around all the time.”

Her eyes widened at my suggestion, and she quickly took her clothes out from her body and began dressing herself. The way it still looked like her body was absorbing her clothes reminded me of a slime.

“Now then!” But sadly, even wearing clothes, there was still lube spread all around her. And those clothes were covered with lube as well, so getting dressed hadn’t done anything at all, really. “Sob... You tricked me! You tricked me, you meanieee!”

“No, I said it might. I never said it would work.”

Gradually, the captain’s aqueous body began to dissipate, and she returned to her original form. A white crystal ball—Poseidon—dropped to the ground with a thud.

“Aw, what a shame. Looks like your transformation ran out.”

“B-Bleh...” She spat up a bunch of water—no, it looked sticky, so it was probably lube. Then she looked down in shock—within the water she spat up was a purple orb. She tried to grab it, but the lube-covered orb slipped out of her hands.

“Ah! Dammit!”

“I’ll take that, thank you very much,” I said, opening a pocket of space in midair and catching it inside, just in case it slipped out of my hands as well.

“Guh! You may have taken Shoggoth, but I’ll never let you take Poseidon—”

“Sorry, but I already did.” The captain had scrambled over the white orb as though to defend it with her life, but I’d opened up a hole in the ground underneath her so that the orb would drop inside. Once again, it was less risky than trying to touch the lube-covered orb directly. To think lube ended up being such an effective weapon...!

“Miss Kari!”

“Oh, hey there, Miss Maria. Wait, you came back here?” I thought I’d transported her and the soldiers back home, but she’d apparently come back. Her soldiers were standing behind her as well. She stole a glance at the desiccated mummy pirates, then looked at Maririn cowering on the ground. Then she looked around at the town square, which had received much less damage than probably any of us had expected, and she breathed a small sigh of relief.

“So I suppose it’s over, then?” she asked.

“Yeah, it’s over. Oh, also, it’s slippery around there, so watch your step,” I said, pointing to the pool of watery lube on the ground.

“AAAHHH!” Maririn tilted her head and screamed up to the heavens, hugging her own body. “Wha? Huh?!”

“Whoa! What’s happening to her now?!” Maria asked.

I was just as shocked. Before our eyes, she began to age rapidly. The hue of her red hair faded, her eye sockets hollowed out, her breasts sagged, and she got all wrinkly... Don’t tell me this was her payment for using the sacred treasures?! Her beauty...her breasts...her thighs...what a waste!

“Nooo! It can’t be! My power! My youth! My transformation! Give it back! Give my Shoggoth back! My beauty! My eternal youuuth!” Her voice was dry and withered as she cried out. She attempted to lunge for me one more time, but slipped on the lube and fell.

“Transformation? Right, that must be how you did it,” Maria murmured. “It wasn’t that you had eternal youth at all. You were just taking on the appearance of a younger woman all along!” She cackled with amusement.

“Oh, now I get it.” Come to think of it, the way she looked now, I wouldn’t be surprised at all to discover she was only three years younger than Miss Maria. In other words, this had to be her true form. Maria’s attendants also looked shocked to see Captain Maririn like this.

“H-Huh? Mariantine?! Wh-Why are you here?! D-Don’t look at me! Anyone but you!” She curled up into a ball.

Still, she really was an old biddy, huh? I wondered if that would affect the Goddess’s evaluation at all, since they wouldn’t be the socks of a beautiful woman. Oh—but she had been rather happy to get Dia’s socks even though he was a boy, and right now Maririn was certainly suitably embarrassed. So...perhaps I’d get to rack up some points after all? Yeah! This might turn out better than I thought!

“Anyway, time to take ’em, Maririn! Miss Maria, would you hold her down? I’ve got to peel those socks off her.”

“Huh? W-Well, er... Hey, one of you guards, help hold her down too!”

“N-No! Don’t call more people over here! Please, have mercy... Nooo!”

Having lost Shoggoth, Maririn was now no more powerful than the average old woman. With Maria and the soldier’s help, she was easily subdued, and I was able to retrieve her stockings, covered in lube. Still, her thighs had once been so bewitchingly thick that I couldn’t help but think it was such a shame that the socks were coming off so easily now.

Epilogue

And so, to make a long story short, the Marinebell Pirates were disbanded.

As a result of their captain going berserk, Gomez and the other officers were no longer in this world, and with no one else to lead them, the crew fell apart. To add insult to injury, their ship got pulverized beyond repair during the battle. How could a pirate crew possibly function in that state? They couldn’t, and the two sacred treasures that might have allowed them to pull through regardless—Poseidon and Shoggoth—were now in my possession.

On top of that, Maririn herself had lost all of her extraordinary powers. She had originally been slated to work in the mines...but in her old, decrepit state, we weren’t even sure if she’d last that long.

“What a shame. If she’d still been an immortal beauty, we could have worked her like a horse for eternity,” Maria said.

“Er, my bad, I guess?” Yeah, eternal youth Maririn was one thing, but old biddy Maririn... Well, she knew how to steer a ship, at least, so maybe she’d end up escaping before she kicked the bucket. At any rate, all’s well that ends well, I suppose. I was going to leave all those particulars for Maria to deal with—there was nothing I could really do in the first place. Strike that, there was plenty I could do, technically, but I didn’t have the authority or any real reason to butt in, so I wouldn’t. Maria had also told me that everything from this point on would be a job for humans, after all... Wait a minute, was she subtly implying that I was a superhuman or something? Well, whatever.

Now in Maria’s room in the territory lord’s castle, I looked out the window at the townsfolk working to rebuild and repair Verald. That said, there was much less damage than any of us had anticipated, so restoring the town would apparently only take a few days. I guessed it was a good thing I’d thought to deploy those protective barriers after all. Maria also offered to pay me a reward... Wait, come to think of it, weren’t some of those damages because I was just playing around? So the town could have been completely unharmed if it weren’t for my antics? Oh well, if she didn’t mention it, I certainly wasn’t going to!

“By the way, Miss Kari, what do you plan to do from here on?”

“Huh?! From here on? What do you mean?”

“I’m asking what you’re going to do with the elf boy, and about your mission to save the world from destruction. You were able to recover two of the treasures, right? So what are you planning next?”

Oh, okay. That was what she meant. “Well, I’m going to take responsibility for Dia as his guardian, first of all. And though I took care of two of the treasures, it’s still a drop in the bucket compared to how many are probably out there.”

Shit... Now that I’d told her I wanted the sacred treasures, it was gonna look like I’d already gotten what I wanted out of this. If I don’t downplay it some, she might give me less of a reward! It’s too late for backsies!

“Is that so...? Then the world’s still going to end ten years from now, I suppose.”

“Oh, uh, that actually won’t happen unless the Goddess decides to forsake the world, so don’t worry about that.”

“In other words, we’ll be fine as long as you work hard, Miss Kari?”

Well, essentially? If by working hard you mean delivering as many high-quality used socks to the Goddess as possible, then sure. “Yeah, but I’ve also got things in this world I want to do, and since there’s no rush, I just plan to go at my own pace. At the very least, I don’t think the world will end in your lifetime, Miss Maria. Of course, if you really do plan to live another hundred years, I couldn’t say.”

“I see. Well, I’d at least like the world to stay intact for my grandson’s sake, so do your best.”

“Roger that.” We enjoyed a leisurely afternoon tea, and then I bid her goodbye. Hopefully I would see her again someday.

＊ ＊ ＊

I now had two sacred treasures in my possession. However, I was especially curious about Shoggoth.

“I mean, there’s no rule saying I can’t use the sacred treasures for myself before delivering them to the Goddess, right?!”

That’s right, you guessed it. There was something I wanted to try with this sacred treasure. Something private, if you get my drift! With this, I could avenge my former self—in other words, get rid of my virginity! Now, I was no virgin at present, of course, but that was as a girl. I still wanted to have my first time as a guy— No, not my first time killing anyone, silly, I’m still talking about adult stuff. In other words, I planned on using Shoggoth to regain my former male body, then do the deed, which would be the same as losing my former self’s virginity at last! With this, I could have my first time with mind and body in agreement!

As for who I’m gonna do it with—I’m sorry, Aishia, but it’ll have to be you. For one, you’re my slave, so you have to obey whatever 18+ commands I give you! Mwa ha ha!

“Yes, master, I have no problem at all with that.”

“Huh? Wait, seriously, are you sure? We’re gonna do, like, bedroom stuff, you know?”

“And? As long as we keep what we’re doing a secret from Dia, I don’t see an issue.”

“Well... Hmm, I guess you’re right...”

She agreed to my proposal without any hesitation. Thus, I took her to my room and activated Shoggoth right away. “Here we go, Shoggoth! Show me your power!” Gripping the orb tightly, I attempted to transform into my previous male self. That’s right, “attempted”...because nothing actually happened. Hmm? Maybe I need to channel mana into it first? No dice... What is it, defective? I poked it a couple of times.

“Er... What’s wrong, master?”

“Huh? Oh, well, the sacred treasure seems to be on the fritz. Here, why don’t you try using it for me, just to test if it really is broken? It’s supposed to give you whatever form you desire.”

“Whatever form I desire?” she repeated as I passed her Shoggoth. “Then...turn me into master! Oh, wow!”

Her form immediately warped and transformed to resemble my own. She walked over to the mirror, touched her new body and face in awe, then grinned. “Wow, I really did become you, master! Amazing! Heh, heh... So I’m master now, huh...?”

“Huh, so it really does work. How’d you do that, anyway? Was there some trick to it? It didn’t work when I tried it.”

“Really? Well, I didn’t do anything special. I just held it, thought about who I wanted to become, and it happened, just like that.”

In other words, she used it without thinking about it. Let me try it again, then. When I took the orb back from her, she returned to her original form a few seconds later. “All right, Shoggoth, I’m counting on you for real this time! Turn me into my desired form!”

This time it didn’t even need to be my male form—I just wanted to see if I could use it at all. Actually, let’s try becoming Dia this time! After all, Dia has a little mister, so maybe I can still manage the original plan! Or so I thought, but the transformation didn’t occur.

“Dammit! This defective piece of— Wait, not yet. Maybe it’s that I can’t transform into anything smaller than me. In that case, I’ll try becoming Blade!” I raised Shoggoth high—and was met with only silence.

“Wh-Why?!”

“I’m not sure, master. That is awfully odd,” Aishia said, tilting her head.

Anyway, since it clearly wasn’t going to work, I dismissed Aishia from my room for the day. Instead, I’d enlist the help of an expert.

“Oh, my dear Karina! Good to see you!”

“Hey, Goddess, this sacred treasure’s defective! I wanna exchange it for a new one!” After all, if it was sacred, then who better to ask for help than the Goddess herself?! Surely she could do something about it! So I’d run straight to the church and thrust Shoggoth in her face.

“Well, of course it wouldn’t work,” the Goddess said with an amused chuckle. “After all, your body’s a creation of mine! What, did you forget?”

“No, of course I remember, but what does that have to do with anything?”

“I created your body. That means you’re a sacred treasure yourself! A living sacred treasure!”

Wait, seriously? I was a sacred treasure all along?

“And that’s not all. Unlike the other treasures, I put all my energy into making you, so you’re much higher-quality. That means a common transformation item isn’t going to have enough power to change your body!”

“You’ve gotta be kidding me...”

“That said, you’re only a human soul inside a shell body, so sacred treasures can still work on your mind.”

Sure, but conversely, it meant I was impervious to any sacred treasure with a physical effect! “Oh, does that mean I’d be immune to ailments like poison too?”

“No, poison will work on you. You’re only immune to the effect of sacred treasures.” Apparently if the treasure’s ability was to poison the enemy, it wouldn’t work, but poison produced from a sacred treasure would. And just normal poison worked on me as well.

“What an inconvenient body!” I grumbled.

“Oh? Then would you rather I make it so that medicine won’t work on you either?”

“N-No, ma’am! Thank you very much!” I said, standing at attention and saluting in gratitude.

“Then it looks like you won’t be needing Shoggoth or Poseidon, so I’ll take those both off your hands.”

“O-Oh, right... Thanks.” I had Shoggoth and Poseidon, the latter of which was still in my space of holding, snatched from me immediately. While that was a little disappointing, the Goddess had taken them, so I wouldn’t have a chance of getting them back now. I had no choice but to give them up.

“Now then, let’s see... Two sacred treasures at 500 SP gives you 1,000 SP! Wow, you’re really raking in the dough now, huh?”

“Yep! ’Preciate it!” Cha-ching! That brought my total up to 1,660 SP! Now that I’d saved up this much, I got the feeling it might be just about time to spend some of it!

“Now, let’s get to the long-awaited main event—the pirates’ treasure! I’m talking about the captain’s socks, of course! Give ’em here!” So beckoned the Goddess, right after she’d confiscated two actual pirate treasures from me.

“So God really does find socks to be more of a treasure than the sacred treasures.”

“Shouldn’t that much be obvious by now? I can make those silly treasures any time I want, so of course I’d find worn socks more valuable! Why so surprised?”

Because anyone else would find the treasures more valuable, I thought to myself while pulling out the stockings I’d nicked from Maririn. They were covered in slimy lube, both outside and inside. Are these...really okay to submit? I wondered, but the Goddess snatched them out of my hands, absolutely elated.

“Finallyyy! The moment I’ve been anticipating—Captain Maririn’s socks, packed with a transcendent level of shame! I can absolutely sense her embarrassment from having these pulled off her right after her transformation ended!” Oh, right, those guys on the platform swore to God before giving their testimony, so she must have tuned in from there. “Now, without further ado, let’s get right to the tasting! Hmm... Mmm, I see, I see. The mouthfeel is almost like shredded kelp, and there’s an aged umami flavor like dried fruit that gets stronger the more you chew— BLEEGGHH!” Without warning, the Goddess projectile vomited a rainbow-colored substance from her mouth.

“G-Goddess?! What happened?!”

“Eeewww, gross! That tasted absolutely vile! Disgusting, like a mound of clay covered in tartar sauce!” She dry heaved and retched with tears in her eyes. It seemed like something in there wasn’t to her liking.

“Um, maybe taking the socks of an old woman was a bad idea after all?”

“Mmm, I don’t think that would have mattered...and those socks were so well seasoned with shame too! What a waste... Uggghhh.”

“Well, I don’t know if this would suffice as a palate cleanser, but here you go.” I handed over Aishia’s socks instead, which I’d harvested and had ready to go just in case an old person’s socks did turn out to be no good.

“Oooh, now I’ve got the taste of vomit in my mouth... Well, maybe this’ll help. Down the hatch— BLEEEGGGHH!” Rainbow-colored vomit flew from her mouth once again. “What in the world is this nasty flavor?! It’s like eating one of those plastic food models restaurants put on display! Why do you hate me, Karina?! Why do you hate me, when I love you so?! That does it! 0 SP! 0 SP for both!”

“What?! N-No... How can that be?! I even made sure to take those socks from Aishia just before I came here, so that they’d be the freshest they could— Oh, no!” At that moment, I realized my mistake—for both Captain Maririn’s socks and Aishia’s. What did they have in common? Shoggoth. They’d both used Shoggoth, the Goddess’s creation! In other words...they both had the Goddess’s “essence” on them!

“So yeah, that’s what happened. My bad,” I said after explaining to the Goddess.

“Darn right it was your bad! Now repent! No, super repent! Ultra repent!” She repeatedly slammed her fist down on the floor, looking furious. “As punishment for today, I won’t let you leave until you’ve spent a fraction of your points—660 SP, to be exact—on my sweets!”

“A fraction?! Isn’t that an awful lot for a fraction?! F-Fine, I promise I’ll be more careful next time...”

And so, I was forced to spend more than the value of a single sacred treasure on consumables (sweets) that I wasn’t allowed to copy. Sob...but considering the fact that she didn’t just reduce my SP total unconditionally, I supposed you could say she was a forgiving deity.

＊ ＊ ＊

Next, I made my way to the home of the Marinebell Pirates, Marinebell Island. More specifically, I was searching around in the middle of the mountains. According to the Goddess, there were supposed to be some socks here that would be the perfect palate cleanser for her. At first I really doubted whether anyone would actually be here, but lo and behold, there was a run-down shack in the middle of the mountain range, just as the Goddess had said.

“If there are socks here, that means there’s got to be a human inside, right? Um, hello? Knock, knock!”

“Yes, who is it?” A young girl came out of the shack, and her eyes met mine. “Oh?” She had red hair and an eye patch on one eye. Pigtails. Smooth, glossy, youthful skin and a plump, round rear.

“C-Captain Maririn?”

“Oh, you know my grandma?” The girl looked puzzled to see someone at her door until I mentioned Maririn. Her grandma, huh...? So this girl must have been related to the captain. Makes sense... She looks exactly like a young version of her.

“I’m Marin Marinebell,” she said proudly. “Future captain of the Marinebell Pirates!”

“Oho, Marin and Maririn, huh? Your names are awfully similar, eh?”

“Yeah, that’s a family thing. For the time being, I’m just hanging out here in this shack, but one day I’ll be the woman to rule the high seas! Perhaps you’d like an autograph while you’re here? I’m sure it’ll be worth something someday.” She thrust her chest out proudly.

“Er, well, about that... I really hate to burst your bubble, but the Marinebell Pirates are kinda...over.”

“Excuse me?”

“Well, they disbanded. And their ship’s also smashed to pieces.”

“Whaaat?!” She froze in shock for a moment, then started flapping her arms in a panic. “Th-Then what about Granny Maririn’s precious treasure...?”

“It was confiscated.”

Marin was lost for words for some time, but she recovered from her shock. “Then...I’m not going to be captain after all?!”

“Well, you can’t be a pirate captain without a pirate ship, so I guess not.”

It was unfortunate, but that was just the way things were.

During the course of conversation, I discovered that Captain Maririn had placed Marin in the shack to serve as a model for when she used Shoggoth to transform herself. Old Maririn was keeping her secretly confined so that she could accurately recall her granddaughter’s young form.

“So if grandma’s captured and the Marinebell Pirates are disbanded, doesn’t that mean no one’s going to take care of me on this island anymore, and I’m just gonna starve to death?!”

“Oh, yeah, I guess so, huh? My condolences.”

“A-At least take me with you to the mainland! I’ll pay whatever you want!”

Goddess, did you perhaps foresee this outcome? Naturally, I had her pay with her socks.

When I visited the Goddess again and gave her Marin’s socks, she had this to say: “Wow, I can really taste the shock, confusion, and uneasiness in these! Buuut they’re just a palate cleanser, after all, so 10 SP.” Cha...ching? Well, at least that 10 SP is exempt from the “fraction” the Goddess had me spend on sweets. Which means my total’s now at 1,010 SP! Hmph... Really, though, that was way too much for a fraction. Though I got the feeling that if I raised a complaint, she’d make me spend even more of it.

＊ ＊ ＊

Thus, the Goddess’s wrath was subdued, and all was well that ended well. Feeling relieved and accomplished at making everything work out, I carried my three pudding parfaits (purchased for 220 SP each) back to my base where Aishia and Dia were waiting.

“I’m home!” I announced.

“Welcome back, master,” said Aishia. She’d only used Shoggoth once and immediately reverted afterward, so probably within the next two or three days the sacred treasure’s effect would dissipate and I’d be safe to try again. Man...and after making sure those socks would be as ripe as possible too! It was a shame, but I’d have to start again from square one.

“W-Welcome back, big sis,” Dia said. And he was wearing his dress! You’re just so cute, Dia. You know, it feels pretty good getting welcomed back home like this, especially by two beauties! (Except one is just a beauty in appearance.) Perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad to just settle down and enjoy their company for a while. Of course, there was still part of me that wanted to drown in the carnal pleasures this world had to offer, but for now, this was good enough. Besides, the Goddess had already snatched Shoggoth from me...

On second thought, never mind! I did wanna drown in carnal pleasure! Next order of business: make enough money to visit Shunrai every single day! Just sitting here appreciating the beauty of women didn’t cut it—I wanted to touch ’em! I wanted to kiss ’em! Simply embracing them and smelling their hair just wasn’t enough!

And so, I switched my main objective to making money. The hunt for socks and sacred treasures would have to go on the back burner for now. The Goddess might complain about that, but who cares? It’s my life, and I’m gonna live how I want! I’m gonna do what I want! That said, if I were to end up obtaining some socks in the process, I certainly wouldn’t mind!

“Oh, right, I come bearing gifts! I purchased these sweets for you both using the reward money I got. And these are the only ones I have, so take your time eating them.” I pulled out the 220 SP pudding parfaits. The Goddess’s sweets couldn’t be copied, meaning they were precious and ought to be savored.

“M-Master... These look simply divine!”

“Oh, you can tell?” By the way, these didn’t have alcohol in them, but they did have an effect that made you feel like you were drunk, apparently. Therefore, even a child like Dia could safely enjoy them without any harm to his body! Heh heh... Now I could see what this cute boy looked like when he was drunk, without actually giving him alcohol!

“Now let’s dig in!” I said, quickly scooping up a spoonful of the whipped cream on top and popping it into my mouth. The sweetness that hit my taste buds was so delicious that it numbed my mind and sent shivers down to the tips of my toes. Damn, I’ve never tasted anything that good before!

“B-Big sis, are you sure it’s okay to eat this? It doesn’t have some weird drug in it or something, right?”

“Oh—no, no, it’s perfectly safe.” The Goddess wouldn’t do something like that... Oh man, I can’t stop eating it. It just looked like a normal parfait at a glance, but the flavor was just otherworldly. Two...no, three times as delicious! It was like every cell in my body was on its feet in applause for every bite! I let out a small sigh of pleasure.

“Wh-What is this dish?!” Aishia cried out. “It’s so light and airy in my mouth, and yet the caramel sauce has just the right amount of bitterness to cut the sweetness! I just want to keep eating more and more! And the melon in here is just on another level! The saccharine honey as you bite into it is simply mouthwatering... Even a minstrel like me is struggling to put into words just how delicious it is!”

“I-Is this chocolate I taste?!” Dia shouted. “These sticklike sweets inside the dessert are covered in chocolate! And the mouthfeel is just exquisite! O-Oh no, my hand won’t stop moving!”

Both of them had looked skeptical at first, but once they started eating, they were in heaven. You know, seeing their reactions, I wouldn’t be surprised if there was some weird drug in these after all. It was no wonder Siesta was so enthusiastic about them... These parfaits were just way too good!

Before any of us knew it, we’d polished off our glasses, not even leaving a single drop of cream behind.

“Man, that was so good...”

“It was like I caught a glimpse of heaven! So incredible that I wouldn’t be surprised if a war broke out over one of those,” Aishia commented.

“I’ve never tasted anything like that before,” Dia said in awe.

A fluffy, happy sense of satisfaction filled the room. Wow, it was no wonder they cost 220 SP each. From the picture in the catalog it had just looked like your average, everyday parfait, but I already wanted to eat another. It was like I’d experienced another plane of happiness.

“B-Big sis, those are so good they’re dangerous.”

“I concur, master. It felt like my body was about to melt...”

They both beamed at me. Guh, my heart! And I even felt a throb in my lower region too! Yes, that was what I’d wanted to see! Their flushed faces, their moist eyes, their bodies twitching with pleasure! Like how the girls in cooking manga act whenever they eat something delicious! Even the girl-in-appearance-only, Dia, looked completely infatuated!

“Oh, big sis, you’ve got some cream on your cheek. Let me get that for you.”

“Wha?” Before I could even react, he leaned over and licked the cream off my face. I felt the soft sensation of his tongue on my cheek. Perhaps the sweets were having an aftereffect, because the heat of his tongue definitely resounded within my core.

“So goood...” he moaned with a smitten grin. I felt my heart skip a beat.

“U-Um...Dia?”

“What? Ah! I-I’m sorry, big sis! I don’t know what came over me!” he yelped as he leaped backward, red-faced. “My body just started moving on its own!” Apparently the effect of the parfait had worn off for him. “I-I’m going back to my room!” He scurried away.

It seemed that the Goddess’s dessert had had him completely under its spell. Still, I... I wasn’t sure how to feel about what had just happened. “Aishia, Dia licked me... What am I gonna do now?!”

“You say that, but you don’t look particularly upset about it to me, master.”

“Huh?!” I unconsciously reached my hand up to my face. My cheeks were definitely hot. O-Oh no. Why? However cute he was, Dia was a guy! He just looked like a girl, that was all! And yet...! Damn, did I get all hot and bothered just because he was dressed like a girl?! My heart just wouldn’t calm down!

“Master... Would you be thrilled if I kissed you as well?”

“Huh? I mean, yeah, of course...”

“Then please, allow me to lick the cream off of you too.”

Aishia brought her face closer. W-Wait, I don’t think any cream landed there... H-Huh?! I-Inside my clothes?! Aishia?!

“I was really happy when you invited me to your bedroom, you know? And yet you sent me back out before we could even do anything...”

“O-Oh, really...? Whoa, hold on, Aishia! Let’s at least head back to the room first! Can you contain yourself that long?!” I wasn’t sure whether she really felt that way or if it was just the sweets talking, but I never imagined she’d be so aggressive! Thank you, Goddess, for your amazing sweets... Hey, wait a minute! She’d made me spend those points on purpose, hadn’t she?! She’d made me buy a few so I’d get hooked and keep coming back for more! Curse you, Goddess! Seriously, I wouldn’t be surprised if you were actually a demon! She really was skilled at manipulating me!

＊ ＊ ＊

Whew...and so, I met the new day feeling refreshed, to say the least.

“Master, I’ve brought you breakfast.” Aishia came in with food on a tray and carried it over to me. Wow, breakfast in bed! And it was...sandwiches! Y-Yay.

“Thanks, Aishia. Er, come to think of it, we didn’t really eat dinner last night, did we? I wonder if Dia’s okay...”

“Don’t worry about that, master. He ate those sweets yesterday, and besides, we were just fine not eating even though we were at it all night.”

Well, when she put it that way...but she was right. After eating those sweets, we’d had enough energy to exercise all we wanted until the sun came up. Perhaps that was another effect that those sweets had—they were packed with an outrageous number of calories. But Siesta ate them all the time, apparently, so I guessed she was one of those fortunate types blessed with eternal thinness... Oh, but she was a succubus, wasn’t she? So maybe all those calories went to her breasts, or maybe she mainly fed on others’ life forces and couldn’t ingest calories from sweets as a result.

“I’ve also left Dia’s portion on the living room table, so he should be fine.”

“Wow, you really are capable, Aishia.”

“Naturally. I want to be a slave that my master can be proud of!”

Wow, you’re like my best purchase ever. I munched on my sandwich.

“By the way,” she continued, “what do you have planned today?”

“Oh, well, I was actually going to discuss with Dia what to do from here on out...and I’d also like to do some maintenance on my golem, if I have the time.”

“Sounds good to me.”

Actually, now that I thought about it, it was about time for me to be in Solasidore, right? In that case, maybe I’d go ahead and deliver that lube to Miss Harumikazuchi. I wouldn’t make much from it, but I had the Electro-Massager I made with Dia for that. And if I showed that invention of mine to the fox lady as well, I was sure she of all people would understand what a fine product it was! (I’d tested it out myself during my session with Aishia last night, so I could vouch for its functionality. It certainly got my stamp of approval!)

Heh heh...and if I sell a bunch of Electro-Massagers and strike it rich, I can go to Shunrai whenever I want! So the next order of business...is to amass as much money as possible! I’ll work hard as a merchant, save up as much as I can, then blow it all on pleasure!

I polished off my breakfast and headed to the living room.

“Okay, Dia, let’s go make a ton of Electro-Massagers and sell ’em!”

“Wah?! O-Oh, big sis... S-Sure...”

When I burst into the living room announcing my plan for today, Dia acted a little strange upon meeting my gaze. Oh no, did he find out the massager was a tool for adult stuff?!

“Er... S-Sorry about yesterday... Those sweets were just so delicious that I guess I got carried away.”

Oh, no, false alarm. He’s embarrassed because he kissed me yesterday. My secret’s safe. Phew... Still, when I recalled that kiss, my heart went all pit-a-pat. Even after doing all that with Aishia last night! It must be your face, Dia! It’s just way too cute!

“I-I’ll take responsibility, I promise!” Dia cried out.

“Huh?! N-No, there’s no need for that! We’re both girls, so don’t worry about it! In fact, it’s the Goddess’s fault for making me buy those sweets...”

“Er, but I’m a guy, remember?”

“You’re a girl! You’re cute, so you’re a girl! Bottom line!”

“Huh? Th-That definition seems a little...odd...but if it’s good enough for you, big sis, I guess it’s good enough for me too.”

By the way, Dia was wearing a thin camisole as sleepwear. It was honestly too cute for words.

“Well, I just finished breakfast myself, so shall we head to the workshop?” he said.

“Hell yeah! Let’s make a whole bunch of massagers! Er... You think they’ll sell too, right?”

“Well, they’re so simple to make that even a novice alchemist like myself can do it, so a better question is, don’t you think someone’s already tried by now?”

Now that he mentioned it, they were awfully simple to make. It wouldn’t be strange at all for them to already exist. “Let’s just make ten basic ones for now, then we can trick them out and make them all unique later.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

First I used my spatial magic to process the wood. Then I printed magic circles inside them. Then I made the switch parts... Hey, wait, wasn’t this Dia’s job?

“Looks like you did it so well that you didn’t even need me.”

“Aw...seriously? Well then, I’ll just have you make something else.” Let’s see... Ah, I got it! “A bathroom! I’ll make a bathroom, and you can make the room’s lights!” I could probably use spatial magic to just make the room bright, but having to adjust it every time would just be a chore. So I wanted a light that I could easily adjust the brightness with.

“A light... In that case, it should match the bath’s design, right?”

“Which means we’ll have to start by designing the bath, huh...? Well, let’s start by making a toilet light, and we’ll brainstorm ideas in the meantime!”

“I like that plan. Come to think of it, it’s bright all the time in my room too. It’d be nice to adjust that as well.” There was natural light from the spaces I created with spatial magic, but adjusting it was a pain. My room aside, I wanted Dia to be able to adjust the brightness in his own room. I’ll keep that in mind.

Thus, Dia worked on the toilet light, while I designed the bath.

“Let’s see, it should be a bathtub, right? Then what if I used a boat to make it? Oh, but a boat’s not really level, so it’d rattle around a lot, huh?”

“Big sis, you know how you made the sea appear next to the living room the other day? How’d you do that?”

“Huh? Well, I just made a big dent in the ground— Oh, I see! If I use that same technique, I wouldn’t need to make a boat at all! You sure are smart! Good boy!”

“H-Hey, don’t treat me like such a child...mmm.” When I rubbed his head, he stopped talking and his eyes closed like he was experiencing utter bliss. So cute.

By the way, I could also easily control the water temperature by adjusting the temperature of my spatial magic, as well as separate dirt and grime from the water. Hey, maybe I should become a bath specialist or something! It’d be nice to make a sauna, or perhaps a cold bath. Ha ha, the ideas were just flowing!

“If you can create oceans, I bet you can create crop fields as well.”

“Oh, not a bad idea! If light from the sun streamed in from a window and I brought dirt and water in from outside...and if I bought some seeds and transplanted some fruit trees from the forest, we’d be in business.” Or I could just make the crops outside of my base, then carry them in via a direct door. I could probably even buy plots of land from somewhere.

“Wow, your magic really can do anything!”

“That’s right, it can do anything! After all, this is the magic the Goddess gave me!”

“In other words, you needed that much power in order to save the world?”

Ah, well, not exactly. For that last boss old geezer, it was kind of overkill. Yeah.

“All right, I’m going to work on the magic item that will become the room’s light,” Dia announced. “Though I’ll leave the finish and reproduction to you, big sis.”

“Yep, you got it!” You sure are reliable, Dia. Though since there were some magic items I’d want to use personally but couldn’t have Dia make, I’d also have to learn magecraft at some point. But a massage device by itself was harmless, so it was fine for Dia to help with those.

“By the way, Dia, I want to make that massager we made the other day, but a smaller version.”

“Smaller? Then just reduce the size of the magic circle, and raise the output...”

And by “help,” I meant that Dia could at least help me adjust their size without any problem!

Thus, Dia made the light, and I made the bath—though it was just an impression in the ground at the moment, so it could hardly be called complete. I tried lining up some warming stones on the bath’s edge. The stones were easy to find outside, and the larger, rounder ones were all over the riverbank. I should also get the water from the river, shouldn’t I? I could sterilize it by sending it through a pipelike space heated at oven temperature, and once it cooled down, I could just pour it out. Or...I could attach a drain system and send the excess water into the forest!

By the way, the boars in the mountain range near Solasidore attacked me while I was selecting my river stones, so boar steak was on the menu for tonight. Maybe with some vegetables? “Air Cutter! And now...drain the blood!”

The boars were sliced up, then drained of blood in an instant, all ready to cook. Now what should I do with this blood? I formed it all up into a ball with my magic for now, but I also thought it’d be a waste to just toss it. Maybe I could use it as a potion ingredient? Perhaps. As long as it stayed in my space of holding, it wouldn’t rot. According to what Blade had told me before, there was often no need to worry about draining blood from meat anyway when cooking by campfire. And if someone did, they’d need to be careful about covering it with dirt and burying it, or they’d lure monsters to their location. It wasn’t like I’d be in trouble if monsters surrounded me or anything, but still, there was no need for that. I collected the rocks and brought them back to base.

＊ ＊ ＊

“Dia, look, look! Our open-air hot spring bath is complete!”

“I’ve also just put the finishing magic circle on this light! You can adjust the brightness with this!”

“Wow, impressive! You already put the magic circle in? It said it took several, but you did it with only one. I can’t believe just how smart you are...and if it gets dark like it’s supposed to, it’ll definitely save us mana!”

“Considering the maintenance, it’s probably better to have several. But if it’s magic stones you want, you ought to gather them soon. You’ll need them for the light.”

Dia was walking the proper path of an alchemist! Not only was he cute, he was a genius! And his thighs were plump too.

“Next, I think I’ll make a light that detects the brightness of its surroundings, then automatically adjusts its own brightness to match,” Dia said. “The continuous adjustment is only the first step.”

“And that principle could be applied to even more useful things, like lifting heavy luggage at a fixed height.”

“Right! That’s something the golem can use!” He grinned.

Ah, engineer girls are so cute. I really should have him hold a wrench.

“How’s your bath coming along?” he asked.

“Oh, well, I’ve done quite a bit. Here, look.” I led Dia into the bathroom. Before us was a magnificent open-air bath—or more accurately, I’d made the entire wall a big window from which to stare out at Mother Nature. There was also a space to wash your body. The soap was all-natural too, so you could put it through the drain and into the forest and it’d be fine. Probably.

“Wow, it’s so vast. Where is this, anyway?”

“The river near where I picked up the rocks. No one can come in from outside, so even if monsters show up in the window, you’ll be safe.” It was like a fixed-point camera, kind of. Perhaps I should try all sorts of other scenic views as well. I could make it an adventure to collect them!

“So, how about it?” I asked. “Wanna go in together? I’ll wash your back for you.”

“H-Huh?! N-No, I’ll pass! Er, but it’s not like I don’t want to or anything!” His face went beet red. I loved how easy he was to tease! It made my teasing all worth it!

Therefore, Aishia and I were the first ones to try the bath.

“I really feel like I can come here to wash all my troubles away, master,” Aishia said.

“Yeah, I know what you mean... Man, this is the life.”

We both thoroughly enjoyed our bath. The way her cheeks got all flushed from the heat was truly cute. I tried poking one. It was so soft. This cheek belongs to me...heh heh.

“And Dia made this light, correct? I wish I could make something useful for you too...”

“Just doing chores for me is plenty useful. I honestly don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“I’m thrilled to hear you say that,” she said with a grin. “By the way, your focus for the time being will be to make money, correct?”

“Hmm? Oh, yeah.”

She tapped her arm lightly. Huh? You’re saying I should sell you instead? No, that can’t be it.

“No, master. Look, you made this arm of mine, right?”

“Uh...yeah?”

“Then sell your healing magic! Normally, people have to pay big money to the church to get healed.”

And apparently you also needed to have significant pull with the church’s top brass. Seriously?!

“Oh, that’s not a bad idea! But wait, the church’s top brass?” Well, normally that in itself wouldn’t be unusual, but Siesta was right underneath the Goddess, and I couldn’t imagine anyone else being in between. Rather, wasn’t I technically part of the church’s top brass? Even if I was under Siesta, I was still directly under the Goddess’s supervision.

Then that meant I could take a little cut of that offering money myself, right?!

Hell yeah! When I get back to Solasidore, we’re gonna have a banquet—in more ways than one!

Afterword

To tell the truth, I actually intended this entire volume to be part of volume 1 when I originally wrote the web novel version. But here we are, at the end of volume 2, with a brand-new main heroine, Dia, making his debut. Karina sees potential in him as a femboy, and if Dia were to turn into a girl too, they’d make the perfect couple, wouldn’t you say? I love that sort of thing. Now if Karina would fall in love with Dia despite saying she’d never date a man, that would just be the best! I really want to write that, so please support them both.

On to the thanks. Thanks to all of you, this book was able to come out! Now just tell everyone how much you loved this book, please! I want this to be an anime! I know it will! With everyone’s support, I know we can do it!

Oh, I guess it’s about time to talk about the book itself. There’s some spoilers here, so if you haven’t finished it, stop reading this and come back when you have! But if you don’t care about spoilers, just keep reading. All right, everyone good? Good! I warned you, so here we go!

This time, enticed by Harumikazuchi’s breasts, Karina heads to the port town on the fox lady’s request. There she meets a red-haired pirate—a change that wasn’t in the web version! This would be where Karina meets Gomez instead, so I thought having a beautiful pirate captain in the mix would help balance things out a little! Doesn’t she look familiar? That’s her charm, you see! Well, yeah, being a fan of a certain talent might have influenced me a little. But I couldn’t help it! They’re both pirates, and pirate captains at that! I had no choice but to do it! But remember, I just used her as a model. They’re not the same, I promise! Meanwhile, Gomez evolved from a bad person into an even worse person. Gomez, you bastard! And I upgraded his death accordingly too.

I also added the scene with the elf ship getting attacked. That was for Dia’s sake. To show the growth of the main heroine, I wanted the beginning scene to depict him as weak and powerless. Sorry, Cumin, that you had to suffer for that. But at least you got rescued. And it’s a good thing they took Cumin, because there’d be no way they would have left Dia’s virginity intact...!

Lastly, an announcement! It seems that we’re in the process of becoming a manga! We’re working very hard on it, and the anticipation is palpable! There are some character designs for the manga right after this afterword, so please take a look. Get excited! Now then, dear readers, let’s meet again in volume 3!

Onikage Supana